Holiday CDs: Destiny's, B.B.

They won fans and influenced people with their dynamic, off-kilter vocal calisthenics, glam girl beauty, and bootylicious curves, but somewhere between their ever-present strong woman anthems, "Independent Women, Pt. 1" and "Survivor," Destiny's Child began to grate on the collective nerves of radio listeners everywhere. With four albums under their Gucci belts in just five years, a sign that DC's recently announced "break" is much needed is their inexplicably sub-par holiday disc, 8 Days of Christmas, which sounds as if it were halfheartedly thrown together over a long weekend. Over-singing, off-key over cookie-cutter tracks, Beyonce, Kelly, and Michelle butcher holiday classics such as "White Christmas" and the stocking overstuffed "A DC Christmas Medley" of "Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town/Jingle Bells/Frosty the Snowman/Have a Holly Jolly Christmas/Deck the Halls/Here Comes Santa Claus." And the girls don't shine any brighter on Beyonce-penned originals such as the insipid title track, on which Queen B brags, "On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me the keys to a CLK Mercedes." No wonder DC shortened their holiday season by four days -- their beaus would've been flat broke by the twelfth day. The disc's only saving grace is the catchy reworking of Donny Hathaway's "This Christmas." If you must have DC under your 2001 Christmas tree, pick up the trio's Hasbro dolls instead. They're just as lifelike as 8 Days of Christmas, but way less irritating. (TRACY E. HOPKINS)

B.B. King A Christmas Celebration of Hope (MCA)

B.B King heats up the holiday with his first-ever collection of Yuletide music, and, after a single listening, you have to wonder what took him so long. The man who most of us know as the greatest living blues guitarist imbues this well-chosen collection of blues and R&B Christmas standards with a playfulness and graciousness that marks most of his work over the past fifty-five years. Inspired performances by King's own touring band add to this enchanting surprise package, which skillfully manages to avoid all of the seasonal cliches, both by the expert musicianship, and the sheer warmth of his personality. Instead of just recycling weary classics, the bluesmaster has plucked little-heard songs like "Blues Decorations" and "To Someone That I Love" out of mothballs and given them a new coat of varnish and a jaunty Santa cap. Especially insouciant are his versions of the well-traveled "Merry Christmas Baby" ("I ain't had a drink this evenin'/But I'm lit up like a Christmas tree"), and the bawdy "Back Door Santa." In addition, King (who produced the album himself) also includes two originals in this collection: "Celebration," which was released as a single in 1960, and the newly recorded "Christmas Love." Not only will this record make the season bright; it will also help those in need, since all the profits will be donated to the City of Hope biomedical research and treatment center. (JAAN UHELSZKI)

Various Artists Stuck in the Chimney (Parasol)

Sugar has always been a part of Christmas festivities, what with candy canes and cookies festooned around the house come chimney-sliding time. Like all good Xmas-themed discs, this collection -- mostly composed of original compositions -- takes that into consideration, but changes things up by sliding the odd dose of mind-altering substance into its sugar cubes. Leading off with the Soundtrack of Our Lives' farfisa-propelled "JingleHell" (which takes "Surfin' Bird" on a trip through the land of Roger Corman circa 1968) and progressing through more melancholy trifles (lke Neilsen Hubbard's Chilton-esque "Merry Christmas, Wherever You May Be"). In the spirit of the latter -- and, to some extent, of the season itself -- Doleful Lions give a faithful but not overly reverent) reading to Big Star's "Jesus Christ" and White Town tilts Teenage Fanclub's "December" towards those same depresso-pop waters. Most of the traditional tunes -- notably Green Pajamas' stately "O Holy Night" -- are handled with a tasteful charm that'd please mom, dad and Andy Williams, while those that take on modern tones (Absinthe Blind's "Silent Night") wouldn't get you thrown out of that family get-together, either. Tasteful, yes, but it tastes good, too. (DAVID SPRAGUE)

Toni Braxton Snowflakes (Arista)

This Christmas season, Toni Braxton welcomed a brand new baby boy. Perhaps inspired by the little one's impending arrival (and all that baby-making beforehand) she set to work on Snowflakes ­- a Christmas album that is sometimes cozy, often seductive and always strictly R&B. New songs (co-written by Babyface and David Foster) such as "Christmas in Jamaica," a steamy yet fun duet with reggae gigolo Shaggy, and "Santa Please?," a slightly toned-down "You're Making Me High" for the holidays, ooze with the same languid, lush vocals and mellow, hip-swiveling beats that pervade Braxton's other work. Even the standards, like "Christmas Time Is Here," get glazed with Braxton's sensuality. Her smooth alto lingers on each note and nearly reinvents the classic. A little bit naughty and a whole lot of nice, Snowflakes encourages listeners put the mistletoe to good use this year. (K.G. ROTH)

The December People Sounds Like Christmas (Magna Carta)

A studio side project of various renowned rockers (who, in this scenario, record under pseudonyms), the December People gather every few years to release Christmas-themed novelty music. With Sounds Like Christmas, the group boldly goes where no Christmas album has gone before. Using classic rock tunes by Led Zeppelin, Genesis, King Crimson, Pink Floyd and Queen as a starting point, December People craft a unique voice, working ubiquitous holiday standards into the rock mainframe, with sublime results. "Silent Night" flowing seamlessly from Pink Floyd's "Us and Them"; "Stairway to Heaven" segueing into "T'Was the Night Before Christmas"; and "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" arranged as "Bohemian Rhapsody" are all heart-felt and flawlessly executed. (Incorporating a few bars of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony during that song's fade is the kind of detail work that makes this an engaging listen). Far from producing a laser show-flashback of pretentious, Moog-laden space-outs, the various homages are fun to spot. Those weaned on the pomp and ceremony of progressive rock will find that Sounds Like Christmas generates extraordinary enthusiasm for the season. (GAIL WORLEY)

.38 Special A Wild-Eyed Christmas Night (CMC)

Following in the steel-toed footsteps of his brother, who fronted Lynyrd Skynyrd's raucous "Christmas Time Again," Donnie Van Zant's .38 Special have put out their own holiday record, dubbed Wild-eyed Christmas Night. While not as edgy as the title claims, these aging Southern rockers do manage to light a fire under some hard-worn classics and give them new life, transforming "Jingle Bell Rock" into a goofy, speed-metal anthem, while turning "Santa Claus Is Back in Town" inside-out. Their bluesy, libidinous riffs elevate most of these musty holiday chestnuts to new heights. The band, which has been in the saddle since 1975, hits new highs tackling "Little Drummer Boy" -- which has been covered by everybody from Perry Como to Joan Jett -- with a surprisingly light-handed touch. Oddly, this once and future boogie band is at it's best on an instrumental version of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman," a symphony of subtle sounds and effects that rivals anything Mannheim Steamroller has ever released. (JAAN UHELSZKI)

Nancy Wilson A Nancy Wilson Christmas (Telarc)

One of the grand dames of jazz returns, gliding over sophisticated arrangements of Christmas classics. Wilson exhibits a grace, sense of swing and depth of feeling which eludes many younger jazz singers, and she still retains that alluring X factor which made her a singing star and 1960s sex symbol. With rising piano star Renee Rosnes and old-hand flautist Herbie Mann, Wilson creates a lovely Brazilian-ized "White Christmas," and she puts the New York Voices though their paces on a sensitive "Sweet Little Jesus Boy." But swing is the ruling modus operandi here, as in a bluesy rendition of Frank Loesser's "What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?" and a bold big band take on "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" (featuring the Dizzy Gillespie All Star Big Band). But the season is also time of reflection, making tranquil readings of "O Holy Night" and "Carol of The Bells" the joyous centerpieces of this jazzy holiday offering. (KEN MICALLEF)

Dr. Duke Tumatoe It's Christmas (Let's Have Sex) (J-Bird) In a genre where Christina Aguilera sings Christmas carols in roughly the same way Bing Crosby sang them fifty years ago, any new approach is refreshing. For perhaps the first time in recorded-music history, veteran Hoosier State blues singer-songwriter-guitarist Duke Tumatoe characterizes Santa Claus as a sort of patron saint of dirty old men. And he doesn't mean dirty in the Sid Vicious-singing "My Way" sense -- he means dirty in the it's-snowing-in-Carmel-Indiana-and-there's-nothing-else-to-do-but-screw sense. Set to gently swinging jazz and sounding like a Tony Bennett album with more guitar licks, It's Christmas (Let's Have Sex) occupies middle ground between the usual seasonal crap and the steadily multiplying bombastic punk-rock alternatives. In Tumatoe's vision, Santa is a guy with an Italian name who "wants to kick your butt." On the closing feast anthem, he speaks from the turkey's perspective: "Eat me!" (STEVE KNOPPER)

(December 11, 2001)