The Invisible Man Returns

Indeed, Jackson's loss serves to raise expectations for his Madison Square Garden shows, which get under way the night following the Grammys with a benefit performance for the United Negro College Fund. Some of his supporters speculate that Jackson intends to use the concerts to redeem his reputation by putting on the most impressive and assertive shows of his career — and that is precisely what he does. In contrast to the tour's opening shows a week earlier in Kansas City, Missouri — where he had often seemed overwhelmed by glitzy and relentless staging — Jackson seems not merely involved and animated but often flat–out magnificent in his New York shows.

But it is during the two songs toward the show's end, "Billie Jean" and "Man in the Mirror," that Michael Jackson's greatest strengths — as well as his greatest problems — as a live performer are displayed. "Billie Jean," in fact, conveys both at once. When Jackson first performed the song in public — during his startling appearance on the 1983 Motown 25 TV special — he was still close to its meanings, to the fear and anger that inspired the song. In addition he was performing it as the first public declaration of his adult independence — as if not only his reputation depended on it but also his future. Now, though, with all its letter–perfect maneuvering and moonwalking, "Billie Jean" seems less like a dance of passion than a physical litany of learned steps; less like an act of personal urgency than a crowd pleasing gesture. Even so, "Billie Jean" is still a marvelous and bewitching thing to behold.

But as Jackson demonstrated the night before at the Grammys, his live version of "Man in the Mirror" is an act of living passion. In fact, it now seems a more personal and heartfelt song for Jackson than "Billie Jean." Back in 1983 the latter song seemed like his way of negotiating with the world — a way of attracting the world's curiosity in the same motion that he announced that he was afraid of being misinterpreted or used up by that world. But with "Man in the Mirror," a song about accepting social and political responsibility, Jackson may be trying to integrate his way back into the world, or at least to embrace his place in it a bit more. It is hardly an easy peace that Jackson seeks. After all, at the end of the song he retreats back into his real world, a very private and isolated place. What's more, it may be that the world no longer loves or wants him as much as it once did. But after watching Jackson on nights like this, when his power and passion are so undeniable, the idea of his audience rejecting him amounts to a sad loss on everybody's part.

A few nights later, Michael Jackson sits on a dais between Liza Minnelli and Elizabeth Taylor at the United Negro College Fund's annual benefit dinner. The dinner is being held to honor Jackson for the major contributions he has made to the Uncf in recent years, and consequently it is a full–fledged gala, attended by a legion of black educators and business people, as well as numerous celebrities, such as Whitney Houston, Spike Lee and Christie Brinkley.

Like much of the rigmarole that surrounds Jackson, this event tends to cast the singer in superhuman terms. In speech after speech, adulators lionize Jackson embarrassingly, and even Ronald Reagan — who will later make history as the first president in a century to veto major civil–rights legislation — turns in an appearance, via video, apotheosizing the star's talents and humanitarianism and his merits as a model for the black race.

This is all fine, but in a way it has nothing to do with what is genuinely great about Michael Jackson: namely, that he is at heart an absolutely terrific rock & roller, an astonishing singer whose vocalizing is both a consummation of R&B history as well as a fresh new start, and a matchless mover, who embodies the whole spectrum of black dance style from Cab Calloway to James Brown and then some. What's more, on his best nights, Jackson can combine these gifts in an electrifying, stunning way that can outdistance even the finest work of Bruce Springsteen or Prince — a way, in fact, that has only been equaled in rock history by Elvis Presley. Like Presley, Jackson is at his best when he reacts on troubled–yet–joyous impulses and makes a liberating, riveting public performance of them. And again like Presley, Jackson is a half–mad and extraordinary talent in a nation that both sanctifies him and hates him for his prowess — and either response spells a difficult artistic future.

Just how much pressure Jackson constantly faces as a result of his fame becomes plain in an incident at the UNCF benefit, during the lull when the dinner is served. No sooner have the speakers stopped speaking than literally hundreds of people — most of them sophisticated, intelligent people — begin streaming toward the table where Jackson is seated, hoping for an autograph, a photograph, maybe even a chance to talk. Immediately, a half dozen or so bodyguards and publicists line up in front of the singer, attempting, first politely and then adamandy, to turn people back to their tables. Finally, it is a stalemate. The people cannot get any closer to Jackson, but they will not turn away from him. They just stand facing him, staring, craning to get a view of his remarkable, enchanting and disturbing face — a face that, at this moment, looks terribly frightened but is holding its place.

Jackson's face, of course, is probably his most famous and controversial aspect, and while some critics suspect he has reconstructed it to seem forever childlike, others charge that he has had cosmetic surgery so that he would appear "less black."

In his new book, Moonwalk, published by Doubleday, Jackson explains:

You must remember that I had been a child star and when you grow up under that kind of scrutiny people don't want you to change, to get older and look different. When I first became well known, I had a lot of baby fat and a very round, chubby face. That roundness stayed with me until several years ago when I changed my diet and stopped eating beef, chicken, pork and fish, as well as certain fattening foods. I just wanted to look better, live better and be healthier. Gradually, as I lost weight, my face took on its present shape and the press started accusing me of surgically altering my appearance.

I'd like to set the record straight right now. I have never had my cheeks altered or my eyes altered. I have not had my lips thinned, nor have I had dermabrasion or a skin peel. All of these charges are ridiculous. If they were true, I would say so, but they aren't. I have had my nose altered twice and I recently added a cleft to my chin, but that is it. Period. I don't care what anyone else says its my face and I know.

In any event, it's a visage that disturbs many people, and earlier in the week one person who has been observing Jackson offered an explanation: "I think people find it upsetting, because they know they're looking at racism made flesh. They're looking at a tacit admission that to make it in a white world, you have to be white. It's an indictment. It's a face that says, 'You made me this way. I can't be really black if I want to be really famous.' And people don't want to look at that face, because they don't want to look at their own racism."

This may well be true, but if so, is that really what is on the minds of the people standing here staring at Jackson, most of whom are black? Are they staring at somebody who represents dark truths, or somebody who embodies a complex history of hopes and dreams made good or simply at somebody who is the biggest star of all stars? Maybe they are looking at all these things. At one point in the evening, the dinner's host, Ossie Davis, stares at Jackson for a long moment and then utters a line as illuminating and resonant as scripture. "God bless the child," he says, "that's got his own."

One last tale remains to be told.

It is in the hectic moments after the Grammy Awards show is over, and the blocks around Radio City Music Hall are jammed with celebrity watchers. On the street behind the hall, a crowd of a couple hundred mostly black fans stand on the other side of a police barricade, hoping for a glimpse of a departing star or two. A huddled, cloaked figure darts out the backstage door and into a long white limousine, and the car begins to inch its way down Fifty–first Street. A small group of onlookers keep pace with the car, trying to peer into its darkened windows. "Hey," says somebody, "I think that's Michael Jackson in that car." Immediately, people in the crowd begin to call out to the car, "Hey, Mikey.... Mikey, is that you? Come out and talk to us, Mikey!"

After a few moments, the top of the limousine rolls back, and up pops Michael Jackson. The people in the crowd break into a wild cheer and start to surge forward, holding out their hands toward the star, but some policemen rush in and keep them away from the car. On the limousine's other side, a lone fan calls to Jackson and begins moving toward him. Jackson turns and smiles at the fan and holds out his hand. The fan, who is only a few feet away, reaches out to Jackson, but before the two can touch, the car speeds up. Jackson stands for a moment, looking at the face of the disappointed fan, then smiles a strangely forlorn smile, waves and drops back into the limousine.

In moments, the white car turns the corner and is gone, and Michael Jackson is carried back to the inviolable world in which he lives.