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Bill Maher Takes Aim at the Economic Meltdown

2/24/09, 2:24 pm EST

Photo: Buckner/Getty

After teeing off on George W. Bush (a man Bill Maher calls “a thundering doofus”) for the past eight years, the host of Real Time With Bill Maher needs a new comic foil. He tells us in our new issue that he’ll manage to mine comedy from Barack Obama (”He’s not some infallible chocolate Jesus… that’s Kanye West,” Maher says), but he’s also taking aim at the Republican party (”the Republican base has been purified, the same way that crack can be purified out of cocaine… or at least that’s how Amy Winehouse explained it to me”) and Rush Limbaugh (”I give Rush a wide latitude because he’s a drug addict”). And, of course, there’s the economy (because frankly, you gotta laugh to keep from crying). So here then, straight from the Real Time host, Bill Maher’s New Rules on How to Deal with the Economic Meltdown:

• New Rule: When you eat at McDonald’s, complain loudly to the manager that you found a tiny piece of nutrition in your burger — your money will be cheerfully refunded.

• New Rule: If you’re reasonably attractive, hang around outside offices of MTV or Bravo and eventually they’ll give you a reality show.

• New Rule: Marry Paul McCartney.

• New Rule: Don’t be pressured into an investment that you’re not sure about. Take your time, read every prospectus thoroughly, and find the Ponzi scheme that’s right for you.

• New Rule: If you’re a Latino family having trouble with food and day care expenses, let Angelina Jolie adopt one of your kids. Let’s face it: you need the financial breathing room, and Brad and Angelina need a Mexican. Can you say “win-win”?


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Comments

Jeff | 2/24/2009, 4:08 pm EST

Are there any “national affairs” going on that don’t attempt to insult conservatives?

blood for oil of olay | 2/24/2009, 4:13 pm EST

Maher is still a pandering moron. What else is new?

MuddyWaters | 2/24/2009, 5:51 pm EST

He is an idiot, period. Furthermore, he is a relativistic idiot in that he will not call things fairly across the board, only that which benefits him at the moment.

totallydude | 2/24/2009, 6:05 pm EST

Conservatives should be insulted. Their short sided greedy low tactics got us in this situation. We have had 8 years of bad decisions after bad decisions and now they want us to believe they have the answers. Stop gays from marrying and pray out way out this economy. You had your chance and you blew it, big time. You Tony Romo it the playoffs blew it.

dlt | 2/24/2009, 6:08 pm EST

Conservatives don’t insult liberals?

Anonymous | 2/24/2009, 6:33 pm EST

I like that all the interns for Fox News are the first to comment on this, or articles by Matt Taibbi. Do you get college credits? Are you allowed out of school at noon? Will your parents pay for your tuition at a 4th tier law school created by Jerry Falwell?

heathen2002 | 2/24/2009, 8:03 pm EST

Jeff- No…It’s too easy. Who can resist when you have an overweight, drug-addicted, mentally-ill blowhard like Rush Limbaugh representing the party? Or Ann Coulter’s bony-ass. Or Laura Ingram the “in the closet” lesbo…
And “blood for oil”- telling the truth isn’t pandering…

heathen2002 | 2/24/2009, 8:07 pm EST

BTW- I hope I didn’t offend the gay and lesbian community in my last post. I thought that by using a derogatory term, the right-wingers might know what I was refering to. I used it as an example of the hypocrisy that runs rampant through the party.

blood for oil of olay | 2/24/2009, 8:37 pm EST

Heathen-
Just because Maher tells people what they want to hear and they respond to it, doesn’t make it the truth. His silly opinions might even come to be the dominant point of view among the media consumers who he appeals to, but this doesn’t in any way he has some sort of insight into better policy or the meaning and implication of world events. He’s just another talking head.

D&C | 2/24/2009, 9:47 pm EST

Heathen2002- another example of the “tolerant and accepting” Democrats.
GOD BLESS YOU

D&C | 2/24/2009, 11:17 pm EST

For those believing that “Liberal media” is a myth….

As Gov. Jindal prepares to give the Republican response to Obama’s address, an MSNBC host or producer was heard off camera muttering “Oh God.”
The remark came after host Keith Olbermann paused the panel’s discussion as Gov. Jindal was walking to the camera.

Jon G. | 2/25/2009, 12:15 am EST

I heard the “Oh, God” on MSNBC – pretty sure that it nothing to do with Jindal’s giving the speech, or the idea OF a speech – rather, the highly-staged walk-in intro that Gov. Jindal and/or his handlers chose to make. I moaned at that, as well.

auramac | 2/25/2009, 1:07 am EST

It is now apparent to me that conservatives are as sick as nazis- they don’t kill people, though- they just have sex with them or hate them to death.

Jim | 2/25/2009, 1:08 am EST

New Rule for Maher: Stop calling yourself a libertarian when it’s obvious you’re as far left as they come. I cringe every time you refer to yourself with the “l-word”, just like when I hear Dennis Miller or Glenn Beck try to pass themselves off as libertarians.

Anonymous | 2/25/2009, 4:18 am EST

Maher was a crappy stand up comedian and bit sitcom actor in the 80’s, now he is qualified as the voice of America? Who cares what this druggy thinks? Oh yeah the liberal dorks out there who believe what tv tells them instead of looking for the truth.

anonymous | 2/25/2009, 5:44 am EST

the real question being, what is the truth, where can it be found, and why is it always what I believe and not what they believe?

Hip Priest | 2/25/2009, 7:35 am EST

Hey Bill,911 was an inside job…lol

Je$$e | 2/25/2009, 8:25 am EST

this is a guy who didn’t have his a$$ kicked enough in school..I’d love a shot to knock this big mouth out..

Delvin | 2/25/2009, 9:40 am EST

Jeez, people are taking Bill Maher’s silly comments awfully seriously. One might think Bill’s a qualified individual with significant credentials, rather than a comedian.

lrc | 2/25/2009, 9:43 am EST

Maher, Coulter, Limbaugh, Miller, O’Reilly, Olbermann…”give ‘em all somewhere to go…”

V | 2/25/2009, 9:56 am EST

Who said Maher’s the voice of America? Now that person is a thundering bafoon!

News flash – Maher is simply a comedian from the left that loves to make fun of closed-minded, conservative-lovin’, Republicans that take themselves waaaaay to seriously.

Just read some of these posts and you’ll quickly find out who these people are. LOL!

spook76 | 2/25/2009, 9:57 am EST

Hee-hee. Maher’s comments made me chuckle. Which was THE POINT. All you spewing blowhards out there need to stop taking yourself so seriously. But then again, if you did, there wouldn’t be all your silly comments for me to chuckle at, too.

spook76 | 2/25/2009, 9:58 am EST

Hee-hee. Maher’s comments made me chuckle, which was THE POINT. All you spewing blowhards out there need to stop taking yourself so seriously. But then again, if you did, there wouldn’t be all your silly comments for me to chuckle at, too.

Jim | 2/25/2009, 11:20 am EST

Irc: Amen to that. I can’t stand Limbaugh, Moore, Coulter, Olbermann, Hannity, Matthews, Maher, O’Reilly, and all the other pompous talking heads that continue to divide our country down party lines.

Drewdog21 | 2/25/2009, 11:24 am EST

Hey, Anonymous!
You’re just like all the other conservative, tight-assed, tight-walleted Republicans who just believe what they want to believe. The truth isn’t just what you believe. Who made you God? (And guess what? I don’t believe in God–and I certainly don’t believe in you or your so-called “truth”.)

Bud | 2/25/2009, 11:36 am EST

I think Bill was molested by a priest. I don’t take orgainized religion seriously either, but he has some serious anger issues. And I hope all the cute, bickering conservatives and liberals keep up their fighting with one another. I very much enjoy the entertainment.

The Losing Game | 2/25/2009, 12:26 pm EST

Maher is right to take on the greed of Wall Street, along with a complicit bi-partisian Congress handing out our money to Wall Street with no accontability.

dlt | 2/25/2009, 1:11 pm EST

Yeah, Maher’s a bit obsessed when it comes to organized religion. I prefer spirituality to dogma.

Pot can make you fat, give you the nonstop munchies. Beer (my choice) can make ya fat too.

Mort Sahl respected newspapers like George Carlin respected newspapers and acid. I consider Maher one of their descendants. And that ain’t bad.

Vanhalen | 2/25/2009, 1:38 pm EST

What a freaking moron. Liberal or conservative, how can you actually listen to this idiot. That is like listening to Bill O’Reilly or actually thinking that the government controls gas prices and not OPEC!!!

rob | 2/25/2009, 1:52 pm EST

Maher is a comedian. People have a problem with him because his comedy always has elements of the truth involved. He is brilliant.

left behind | 2/25/2009, 2:11 pm EST

he’s a moron…and he’ll be left behind for sure.

MEEEE | 2/25/2009, 2:16 pm EST

Conservative, religious-believing Republicans are vomit sandwiches

Moe | 2/25/2009, 2:35 pm EST

Wise guy ey?

Steve | 2/25/2009, 2:57 pm EST

Bill Maher and Christopher Hitchens should run for office. I’d say Hitchens for President and Maher for VP. Jesus freaks take note.

Watchdog | 2/25/2009, 3:05 pm EST

The U.S. is in dire need of a full-blown revolution. Period. It’s time.

Curly | 2/25/2009, 3:55 pm EST

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Edz | 2/25/2009, 5:04 pm EST

Bill Maher should be giving Rush a pass because they’re both one in the same, just on the other side of the fence. Both are highly opinioned and both will tell you they have the answers to what ails this country, but neither are getting in the ring. Both guys have the connections, the support and the capitol to run, but neither wants to be the ones exposed, just the ones exposing.

At least Al Frankin had the stones to throw his hat in the ring. I doubt either of these clowns do. And that is the problem with America; most people would rather sit around and complain about the work of those actually trying to make positive changes.

Obameter | 2/25/2009, 5:48 pm EST

Yeah, their one in the same except Maher just isn’t funny any more. Getting fat and lazy though. Religulous one of longest puff pieces I ever seen on organized religion.

exposure | 2/25/2009, 5:52 pm EST

Edz,

does that make you a coward too, since you are ‘exposing’ those two men but not risking ‘exposure’ yourself?

See how mindless your claim is?

tyler | 2/25/2009, 6:47 pm EST

Bill is not funny !!

Mr. Vomit Sandwich | 2/25/2009, 7:08 pm EST

I had no idea Maher was a comedian!

Shann | 2/25/2009, 7:24 pm EST

Bill Maher is hilarious. So his sense of humor and jokes point out the painfully obvious, isn’t that what makes him funny? I always found humor in that which was true, i wish he would make more jokes about how far RS has fallen in the passed few years.

RacistBigot | 2/25/2009, 8:58 pm EST

Bill speaks for all of us…

Irish | 2/26/2009, 12:49 am EST

Maher is a self-righteous jerk, a stand-up comic posing as an intellectual. Where does he get off questioning Obama’s religious beliefs when Obama himself has been very clear (in his books) about them? He came off as petty and bitter at the Oscars about his movie not being nominated for best documentary–it wasn’t a documentary, it was a childish “let’s make fun of other people ” movie. I’m a progressive Democrat, and Maher is walking proof that jerks come in all political shapes and sizes.

Neal Mc | 2/26/2009, 5:06 am EST

Just because Maher says what he thinks, and sells what he says, dosen’t mean he belives it.

It’s ALL for sale Ladies and Gentlemen, don’t forget that.

He presents some interesting perspectives thats all.

He don’t believe in GOD. Nor do I.

he makes money saying it.

I don’t

fug it

who cares

He does not claim to be something he is not, so… big deal??

Rock on

Anonymous | 2/26/2009, 8:21 am EST

Ron Paul wants to bring the troops home: good. Ron Paul’s for deregulation: bad.

'deregulation' | 2/26/2009, 1:59 pm EST

Anonymous, your statement is false in a very big way:

govtrack.us/congress/vote.xp d?vote=h2000-540

Dr. Paul considers the Constitutionality(and arguably the morality) of the laws he votes on, and not dogmatically voting against things with the term ‘deregulation’ attached to them.

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking regulation is necessarily good and deregulation is necessarily bad. Both have been employed by the banking system to push us further into this realm of Keynesianism.

One could call the abolition of the Patriot act deregulation, doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing to do.

dlt | 2/26/2009, 2:23 pm EST

I’m “anononymous”. I didn’t punch my name in in time.

The Patriot Act moved into town while we were sleeping. Does that sound like democracy? And, unlike the previous administration, we don’t want anybody messing w/ the Constitution, the Bill of Rights.

Can’t do much outsourcing these days. The greedy have to wait.

James | 2/26/2009, 10:55 pm EST

Maher for President or Pope. It’s time for some real humor.

RABBIT TOBACCO | 2/26/2009, 11:52 pm EST

BILL MAHR:BIG WIND/HEAP DUST/NO RAIN

Not Laughing | 2/27/2009, 11:15 am EST

Is this list supposed to be funny? I thought this guy was a comedian. This list looks like it was written by a 5th grader. Great job Billy boy! Keep it up! A couple more like this and that religion movie and we won’t have to put up with you anymore because no one will give you a job! Awesome!

Browny | 2/27/2009, 11:23 am EST

Genius! Amen! Well said!

VaBear | 2/27/2009, 2:35 pm EST

Yes Bill M is a bit arrogant and self rightgeous. And I agree with him 99% of the time. So that makes me… If Mr Maher didn’t have such a bold, self centered personality, NO ONE would be putting out the free thinking ideas like he has.

Jimmy | 2/27/2009, 4:12 pm EST

Maher is an angry has-been groping for ratings. This show is outdated and not even marginally entertaining when you consider the lengths he’ll go to make his point. At one time the show seemed relevant because it went after a viewership that seemed apathetic. The problems this country faces are so huge, that its seems stupid and extremely trite when celebrities weigh in with their imbecilic opinions. His avowed libetrarian affiliation is a joke, especially in a time when more and more people are actually turning to real libertarianism as an alternative to the two-party system. His political philosophy is supposed to seem ambiguous, maybe even impartial, but in fact he is just another hollywood liberal calling for government authority over everything except sex and drugs. In the hope and change era, you would think we could also raise our standards for entertainment.

Reality Check | 2/27/2009, 9:10 pm EST

Everyone bickering should remember that f people wanted your opinion they would see themselves to your television show or rolling stone article about you, but in all likelihood you don’t either; he does.

Like him or dislike him, you’re dicking around on the internet, wasting your own time clicking on an article detailing the opinions of a man about whom you’ve probably already made your mind up about before even coming on here. Defeatism helps no one. Get a hobby.

mATTERgOD | 2/27/2009, 9:43 pm EST

Jimmy, good post! Although I like Bill a bit more than you apparently, your statement about the Libertarian affiliation is dead on. There truly is a philosophy regarding the principles that our country was founded upon that align with the Libertarian Party. No wasteful spending, no bigoted authority over others lives, and accountability for the citizens of this great country. Nonetheless, Maher is entertaining and I’ve enjoyed his liberal leaning shows for years. Don’t always agree, but it makes for good T.V.

KILL BILL | 2/28/2009, 6:10 am EST

gosh i hate him

dlt | 2/28/2009, 8:35 am EST

PJ O’Rourke is a conservative, a purist, no neocon. He’s better than conservative college professors.

Mr. Jack Mehoff | 2/28/2009, 6:30 pm EST

It’s all very simple. Bill Maher just didn’t receive the proper toilet training , that’s why he’s in so much pain, and spewing it out there for a buck. Viewers priorities are pretty screwed up if they consider what he says entertainment, and worst, taking him seriously at all.

peajack | 2/28/2009, 7:56 pm EST

Agree whole-heartedly with “totallydude”. Since the conservatives have started an endless war, raped the environment, ignored our neighbor Mexico and the violence there, and ruined the economy on their watch, don’t you think it’s time to make fun of those ignorant, arrogant, uninformed social misfits? They brought their troubles on themselves, along with the money they took home, and deserve to be pelted with f–bombs.

dlt | 3/1/2009, 8:17 am EST

Yeah, conservatives are lacking when it comes to short-term memory. They just finished their pow wow in Washington. They never march, unless they’re carrying guns.

Why reiterate?

dlt | 3/1/2009, 8:17 am EST

Yeah, conservatives are lacking when it comes to short-term memory. They just finished their pow wow in Washington. They never march, unless they’re carrying guns.

Why reiterate?

boatman | 3/1/2009, 1:01 pm EST

It’s not easy to be smart and funny at the same time. Maher accomplishes that more often than anyone. Conservatives don’t like him because he punctures their self-serving delusions and hypocracy.

Lee Harvey | 3/1/2009, 6:10 pm EST

How many more must die for GOP lies?

Liz | 3/1/2009, 7:42 pm EST

Bill needs to find a REAL Job!! IF he’s so intelligent. He’s boring. It’s not working for him & now he needs to get lost, or wait, he is LOST! the dufus!

Jim | 3/1/2009, 9:12 pm EST

The world has moved on, no one gives a second thought to the lame opinions of celebrities. Politically incorrect aphorisms can only be viewed as impotent and out of touch given the urgency of the actual problems that face us. I know that it was a big deal to actually speak one’s mind in the 1990s, but the world has grown up and is readily speaking its mind at every juncture. Every one has an opinion, talk is cheap, so why do we need Bill Maher?

K. Craig | 3/1/2009, 9:15 pm EST

Bill maher is genius.

Roy | 3/1/2009, 10:56 pm EST

I like Bill and GWB was a great foil. But right now he’s so filled with Obamagaga that he doesn’t give the same critical look at the gap between the rhetoric and reality as he did for the previous 8 years.

There will come a time when he understands that Obama’s eloquence is like pissing in your pants……..makes one feel warm, but only for a while.

knownonsense | 3/2/2009, 10:29 am EST

Cure for insomnia – watch Religulous.
Guaranteed to put your lights out. I almost feel sorry for Bill. He is so empty inside, so void of humanity.

JOSE LUIS | 3/2/2009, 10:45 am EST

THAT’S A GOOD ONE. CAN ¡BRAD A AND ANGELINA ADOPT US ALL. PLEASE..

dlt | 3/2/2009, 4:30 pm EST

I guess some of you, like me, consider Neil Cavuto a comedian. That grating voice of his, like Bosley in the original, 1970s Charlie’s Angels series.

Jesus' | 3/3/2009, 10:19 am EST

fan of the antichrist…just look at the fool.

meh | 3/3/2009, 8:30 pm EST

I cancelled HBO because of this guy.

Chuck | 3/3/2009, 8:46 pm EST

The fact that idiots are canceling HBO because of one guy and people are so upset with him shows how Bill Maher is shaking things up. We need someone like him that says what everyone else is thinking. By the way who cares what the Catholic church thinks. At least Bill hasn’t molested a child.

jj | 3/4/2009, 3:50 am EST

Chuck, I guess I’m an idiot too because I fail to see any intelligence in your argument.

dlt | 3/4/2009, 9:13 am EST

People can’t afford HBO. Or much else.

meh | 3/4/2009, 2:29 pm EST

Thanks for validating my choice Chucky. My problem isn’t with Mr. Maher, but with his viewers that take away too much from his humor. I don’t want to be an enabler. For the record, I consider myself a libertarian agnostic and if Bill were to get me into a Playboy mansion party, I would probably reconsider my HBO subscription status. Giggity.

Jay | 3/4/2009, 5:20 pm EST

Come on guys, I don’t agree with Bill Maher on some things … But he is funny. And he bring some valid points up. The guy is just smart. At least he is better than Rush, Hannity, Beck or any of the far right entertainers.

drb | 3/15/2009, 8:28 pm EST

If Bill had “class” he “might” be funny. But that would be a stretch. He’s bitter and empty inside. Doesn’t have any ‘beliefs,’ and I suspect has abandoned his Faith a long time ago. Maybe he should examine that and not the morally ‘Right.’

Ben | 3/27/2009, 9:15 pm EST

We are lucky to have someone like Bill Maher who uses humor and intelligence to critique our situation- unlike these posts calling him an ‘idiot’ and a ‘moron.’ I think some have confused him with Rush Limbaugh.

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