Illustration by Tim O’Brien. Based on photograph by Shawn Thew/EPA/Corbis

George W. finally leaves the White House on January 20th. But before he escapes, Rolling Stone nabbed an “interview” in which Bush came clean — on his daddy issues, Condi’s farts and the time Dick waterboarded the houseboy:

Let’s talk about August 6th, 2001. That’s the day you got a memo warning about plans for possible attacks by Osama bin Laden and Al Qaeda. What were you doing that day?
I’ll be honest with you. I was at the ranch, on vacation. I was watching the Hall of Fame game on TV. First NFL preseason game of the year, hate to miss it, you know?

• Bush Apologzies

More RS on George W. Bush:

• The Top Five Bush Rumors
• Bush Like Me
• Post-Bush Syndrome
• The Great Iraq Swindle
• The Magical Victory Tour