Madonna is a stressed-out party host on the first single from her forthcoming MDNA – so determined to show her guests the funnest time ever that she winds up snapping champagne flutes in her white-knuckled grip and driving everyone out the door before the clock's struck 10:00. "Give Me All Your Luvin'," written and produced by Madge and her latest Euro-dance collaborator, French DJ Martin Solveig, wants badly to be an irreverent bubblegum romp. It has a perky electro beat, a dippy singsong melody, and a cheerleader chant ("L-U-V, Madonna/Y-O-U, you wanna?") designed to evoke silly-fun pop classics like "Mickey" and "Hollaback Girl." But the tune and the lyrics seem dashed off, and the aggressive, assaultive spunkiness makes you want to run and hide. Not even the presence of two of the world's most reliably irrepressible pop stars, Nicki Minaj and M.I.A., can lift this party out of the doldrums. N-O, thanks: don't wanna.
Listen to "Gimme All Your Luvin'":