Paris Hilton's "spoken word" "techno" "song," which leaked (or is it "leaked"?) earlier this week, is a tale of drunken clubbing drawled by the hotel heiress over a lame beat. There's Valley Girl beat poetry ("My mouth kept pouring desperate clauses of random intent"); there's words of wisdom ("No one is safe in the Twitter-sphere"). It's sublimely stupid – Hilton's greatest contribution to world culture by far. Her recording career should end now, while she's ahead.
Listen to Paris Hilton's "Drunk Texting":
• Photos: Random Notes