Taylor Swift, you are so right: Life is a tough crowd! And so is the MTV Video Music Awards. Last night's big show lived up to all expectations for superstar excess, meat-dress antics, Jersey Shore hype, Gaga/Cher triumphs, Justin Bieber drum solos, Ke$ha trash-bag fashion, Wee-Man cameos, and Taylor/Kanye bananas-osity. It was a reminder that pop glitter will always be what MTV does best — because MTV was born this way, baby. So here's a brief rundown of the night's highs and lows. Let's have a toast for the douchebags! Click here for Rolling Stone's complete VMA coverage.