10. 'Don't Stand So Close To Me'
Before he was Sting the rock star, the Police frontman was simply Gordon Sumner, English teacher and school soccer coach. He swears that "Don't Stand So Close To Me" isn't autobiographical, but the song is about a teacher with a crush on a student half his age who clearly more than reciprocates. The ending is ambiguous, but it does seem like they get together. Indeed, it is just like "that book by Nabakov." In real life, these type of things usually end about as well as Lolita. If there was a real schoolgirl who inspired this song, she has yet to come forward.