T.I. posted a blunt letter from prison on his website Thursday that shows the rapper struggling with his new reality. "This experience is truly a pain I have never felt before and that's saying a lot for a n---a who's been down locked up as many times as I have," he wrote. "I don't know what effect this will have on my life moving forward but I'm certainly sick and mother f*cking tired of going to jail, juve, prison, the pen, correctional facilities or whatever else you want to call it."
Indeed, for all of T.I.'s public contrition about going to prison twice within the past two years — his Road to Redemption reality show, his community service, his statements with Al Sharpton — he seems to have reached a new level of awareness of his situation. He writes: "I'd have been better off doing a 5-10 year bid one time than going in time and time again for days, weeks and months for the last 15 years of my life."
Just five months after completing his sentence for weapons possession, T.I. was arrested again in September, this time for drug possession — a violation of his parole that sent him back to the same Arkansas prison for 11 months.
T.I. concludes by owning up to his actions and swearing that he won't let the same thing happen to anyone close to him.
"A lot of folks had fathers or father figures in the house to raise them into manhood. I'm not trying to make any excuses for my situation but my father was a hustler that lived in New York. ... My mother and grandparents did the best they could but I found my manhood in the trap and in prison systems. But I found it. And nan one of mine will ever have to feel the cold tight grip of a handcuff or grace the presence of a jail cell if I can help it."
In earlier posts, T.I. had been contrite but showed much less frustration. And he actually finds humor in the situation in his forthcoming VH1 Storytellers , airing on December 10. He says that his new LP, No Mercy , "represents some of my best work, inspired by my most recent best and worst life experiences. They say adversity brings forth inspiration, so y'all can imagine how inspired I've been."