Morrissey Talks About His Health, Sex Appeal and 'Sad' State of Mind

"I don't transmit sexuality of any kind," the singer says. "I don't ever attract a women, men or white rhino"

Morrissey
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Morrissey
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The last year for Morrissey has found him filled with highs and lows, from canceling concerts over health concerns in June to issuing his 10th solo album, World Peace Is None of Your Business, last month. He approaches those subjects, including discussing his songwriting on the album's songs, as well as a variety of other non-sequitur topics in the cover story for Ireland's Hot Press magazine. Here are the most entertaining bits: 

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On his own funeral: "They'll all turn up finally ready with praise once I'm out of earshot. Who cared...about John Lennon in the years leading up to his death? No one. I'm not saying I'm as known as John Lennon because obviously I'm not."

On what he laughs at in the bathroom: "If you YouTube [Fifties comedian Rex Jameson, who performed as "Mrs. Shufflewick"], you'll find one live clip and two albums, and I listen to them nonstop every night in the bath. The timing, the pauses, the originality – he was the funniest thing Britain ever produced.... I've tried to urge Universal to issue the two LPs on CD, but they don't think anyone would buy them. I know at least 38 people who would. That's a start, isn't it?"

On the British Empire's first steps toward ending animal cruelty: "It would be a great help if Princess Anne gassed Jamie Oliver. He's killed more animals than McDonald's."

On the "ultimate sex symbol": "Having met Pamela Anderson and Patrick Dempsey, well, they're both quite beautiful, and if at least one of them doesn't turn you on, then you're probably dead."

On his own sex appeal: "I don't transmit sexuality of any kind.... I don't ever attract a women, men or white rhino, so I can't see how I'd be attractive onscreen."

On his state of mind when he's creative: "I don't say this for affect, but I'm never not sad....which is lovely grammar, I know."

On the writing process for his autobiography: "I wrote the childhood sequence almost as a child might, and the adolescent period as an adolescent might, and the adult section as a 'suicidalist' might."

On how much he knows about the biopic being made about him: "I only know it's called Steven – the very name I've crossed continents to get away from."

On how he feels about Scotland's referendum to leave the United Kingdom: "They must cut ties with the United King-dumb. I love Scotland, and I love the Scottish spirit and they do not need Westminster in the least."

On his health scares: "The worst was in June in Boston, when I was hospitalized with acute fever. I was delirious for six hours, talking absolute nonsense and unable to stop. I've never been so frightened in my life. Then, of course, you get these bitchy comments for having to cancel shows.... I've been to so many hospitals lately that there's hardly any point in my leaving."

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