As we all well know, last week, voting was crucial. The very future of America depended on it. I mean, if citizens didn't vote...they'd possibly end up with an "X Factor" or "Voice" champion they never even wanted!
In all seriousness--if you take singing competitions seriously, that is, which I somewhat embarrassingly do--both "The Voice" and "The X Factor" finally opened up to public voting last week. And there was a whole lot on the singing-show ballot, so to speak, with a whopping eight hours of viewing and 33 performances between the two series. By the end of the week, only 12 candidates remained on each show...and though I now officially feel comfortable saying that the overall talent is stronger on "The Voice," the most memorable performance of the week definitely came from "X Factor" hip-pop jesters Lyric 145.
It was supposedly "Movies Night" on "The X Factor" last Wednesday, but musical themes on "The X Factor" tend to be as loose as one of co-host Khloe Kardashian's breakaway blouses, so really the theme was "Any-Song-That-Ever-Played-During-The-End-Credits-Of-Any-Straight-To-Netflix-Film Night." (Thank you, Wikipedia, for helping me figure out what movies some of these "Movies Night" songs were actually from.) However, Lyric 145 took some very creative liberties with an actual cinematic classic, "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"--YES, the Mary Poppins ditty--and they definitely got it poppin'.
This was one of the most bizarrely brilliant, or at least brilliantly bizarre, talent show performances I'd ever seen. They were all decked out like Wonderland tea-partiers. They were jumping up on banquet tables. They were flanked by freaky-deaky "Thriller" mummy-dancers. They got all up in L.A. Reid and Britney Spears's grills. (And I think one of them even proposed to Britney, which probably surprised her fiancÈ, Jason Trawick.) And front-rapstress Lyric Da Queen spat every nonsensical syllable--even backwards at one point--without getting her tongue twisted once. This was exciting. This was original. This was theater. This was the performance of a $5 million act. This was, basically, supercalifragilisticexpialidociously amazing.
Surprisingly, though, this was not the performance that rocked the "X Factor" vote. On the following night's results show, a shocking decision was made to reveal the rankings of all of the contestants, from first to last place--something no other TV talent competition had ever been willing to disclose before. (Heck, "American Idol" won't even let contestants' iTunes sales numbers be made public.) And Lyric 145 were way down in ninth place:
1st - Tate Stevens
2nd - Carly Rose Sonenclar
3rd - Vino Alan
4th - Diamond White (the surprise wild card who returned last week)
5th - Fifth Harmony (the girl group formerly known as LYLAS/1432)
6th - Emblem3
7th - Jennel Garcia
8th - Paige Thomas
9th - Lyric 145
10th - Beatrice Miller
11th - Arin Ray
12th - CeCe Frey
13th - Jason Brock
Yep, you read that right: 37-year-old good ole boy Tate Stevens was in first place. The most un-"X Factor"-y of all the "X Factor" contestants--older and utterly unflashy, a singer who'd never performed in an†Alice In Wonderland costume, painted leopard spots on his face (as CeCe Frey did last week), performed while suspended in mid-air in a Pink harness (as Paige Thomas did), surrounded himself with hoochie dancers (that was Arin Ray), or in any way tried to appeal to the show's supposed youth demographic--received the most votes. A guy who croons country, Simon Cowell's most-loathed musical genre. Ha.
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