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Holiday Song Remix: New Classics We'd Really Like to Hear

Page 5 of 10

Sculpture by Liz Lomax

December 24th
to the tune of "1999"

I was dreaming when I wrote this
It might be crazy to believe
But when I woke up this morning
This morning was Christmas Eve
Forgot to do my shopping
For the ladies on my purple list
Gotta haul ass to the mall
Or those ladies might get slightly pissed.

They say that Santa's coming
With his toys from the Great White North
So tonight I'm gonna shop
Like it's December 24th.

The streets were total chaos
The mall had no security guard
Maxed out my purple AmEx
Now I'm burning out my MasterCard
I hit Victoria's Secret
The Body Shop had me in line
I got lost in Bed and Bath
Till that Beyond showed me a funky time.

They say that Santa's coming
With his toys from the Great White North
So tonight I'm gonna shop
Like it's December 24th.

I got toys for Wendy and Lisa,
Apollonia, Diamond and Pearl,
Plus new sticks for Sheila E.,
Because she's my little drummer girl.
If you brought me gay apparel
Leave it underneath my tree
But I won't don it till I check
If this apparel's gay enough for me.

They say that Santa's coming
With his toys from the Great White North
So tonight I'm gonna shop
Like it's December 24th.

If you didn't come for bargains
Don't bother knocking on the door
The mall's about to close
And we're still battling store to store
In line at Crate & Barrel
My mind says prepare to fight
But if I'm going broke
I'm gonna have myself a freaky tonight.

They say that Santa's coming
With his toys from the Great White North
So tonight I'm gonna shop
Like it's December 24th.

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