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Holiday Song Remix: New Classics We'd Really Like to Hear

What if Britney decked the halls and Ozzy sang of reindeer? These tunes will stuff your stocking and roast your chestnuts

November 23, 2011 12:45 PM ET
On Jimi! On Britney! On Weezy & Springsteen!
On Jimi! On Britney! On Weezy & Springsteen!
Sculptures by Liz Lomax

Honky Tonk Santa
to the tune of "Honky Tonk Women"

I met her on a snowy Christmas evening
She said she used my chimney for a slide
The lady said she'd flown all night to see me
Then she took me upstairs for a reindeer ride.
It's the honky tonk Santa
Gimme, gimme, gimme the Christmas Eve blues.

She wore red velvet pants and boots of leather
I offered eggnog, but she demanded wine
She smoked up all the ashes from my fireplace
She trimmed my tree and then she trimmed my mind.
It's the honky tonk Santa
Gimme, gimme, gimme the Christmas Eve blues.

She gave me swans a-swimming and maids a-milking
All the French hens and turtle doves I'd need
And said there were some Puerto Rican elves just dyin' to meet me
Then she threw me in the back of her sleigh and said, "Let it bleed."
It's the honky tonk Santa
Gimme, gimme, gimme the Christmas Eve blues.

The lady gave me gin-soaked Yuletide kisses
Then what to my wondering eyes should appear
She flew back up my chimney, but she told me,
"I only come but once a year."
It's the honky tonk Santa
Gimme, gimme, gimme the Christmas Eve blues.

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