CMJ Madness: The Horrors Play at Dim Sum Joint

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I've seen lots of bands worse than The Horrors. I saw Morningwood once. And Jamiroquai, they weren't very good at all. Neither were Jonathan Fireeater. I used to live behind a bakery whose staff had a Dead cover band called Caution (Do Not Step On Tracks)--they sucked. Okay, I never saw Jonathan Fireeater. The point is, The Horrors could have been much worse, and they looked great, and they played this "garage rock" music that I hear is going to be the next big thing, and they were like the scenes in late Woody Allen movies where there's a wacky "rock" "band" to show how sick our society is today, and you could tell they were trying, plus cool hair, that's gotta count for something, right? But did they suck? Yes they did. Have I already heard Birthday Party records? Yes I have. Would I go see this band again? Depends on (1) if they learn any songs, and (2) how much the beers are. Last night the beer was free. Awesome!

The Sounds did their perky Swede synth-pop thing ("Tony the Beat" will always be one of those songs that whisks me back to the summer of 2006 -- do it do it real good) and the Crystal Castle DJs kicked ass (who ever gets sick of doing the handclaps to The Presets' "Are You The One?" -- not me, that's for sure). But CSS didn't show up, leaving The Horrors to headline, something those poor boys were no sooner qualified to do than anybody else in the room. Many people left, which meant more beer for us, so let's give The Horrors the benefizzle of the dizzle and figure it wasn't their night, and let's also recommend a chord or two. D, that's a good one. A, that's good too. Look them up. Now get crackin', Horrors! See you Friday at Studio B!