Yeah. You're sick of living in a bubble.
Definitely, and that's why this time is so important for me — to be able to fuckin' pump my own gas and not have people do that for me. It's like, "No, you don't have to go get me a Starbucks. Let me just go get it myself." I sneak out of my hotel room all the time just to have that sense of freedom.
Where do you go?
I go to my brother's apartment and hang out with his guy friends. It's not like I'm sneaking out. I just go without my security and stuff like that.
So you're on a break. Are people making too much of a big deal out of this?
I'm supposed to take six months off, but I probably won't. The whole point of me taking a break is to be out of the public eye and not see my face on TV, because I'm sick of myself. This is more of a spiritual thing for me. I want to not have my hair and makeup done all the time.
Do you think that people wouldn't be making such a big deal about this break if you hadn't walked offstage in Mexico?
I think it's that, and my relationship with Justin, and everything combined. And the Globe saying I'm a lesbian.
The Globe said you were a lesbian?
They said I have an obsession with sex tapes. And that probably the reason I am taking a break is because I can't deal with that and being a lesbian. Whatever!
You've said that your parents' recent divorce was a relief. Was there a lot of tension in your household growing up?
Yeah. They just didn't get along at all. I love them both dearly, but I'm so happy that they're not together. That may sound kind of sad. You should want your parents together, but I look at it differently.
Do they still talk to each other?
They talk every day. See, I think it's cool that they're still talking, 'cause if that was me, it would be the other way around. I'm very stubborn. When it comes to relationships, if I'm not happy with something, I'm like, "Peace. Bye." I'm so bad.
Do you have more empathy for your parents' situation because you just went through a breakup?
It's a lot harder for them, because they were together for twenty-five years. It's hard when you not only have the love thing but the habit of being able to just pick up the phone — and you can't anymore. It's like a drug, and you feel like, "What do I do now?"
What do you think their divorce taught you about your own relationships?
It's probably gonna be a really long time before I'm in a relationship because, I don't know, I'm just not there. [Pauses] I'd have to meet somebody really, really cool. I just can't see myself going there right now — with all the arguing. You know what? I'm being really selfish right now. I don't want to have to call somebody. It's only hard when you go places and you see couples together and you're like, "Oh, man, I wish I had a boyfriend right now." But I'd rather be by myself forever than be with somebody because I'm lonely.
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