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Ask a Boss: Read Rick Ross' Advice on Texts, Hangovers, Money and More

Miami rapper turns into a life coach for Rolling Stone column

May 16, 2014 4:20 PM ET
Rick Ross
Rick Ross
Noam Galai/Getty Images for Beats by Dr. Dre

For a limited time, Rick Ross is Rolling Stone's advice columnist! Here's his second batch of answers to our readers' burning questions:

I'm a college girl who hasn't had a lot of luck in love. I'm just so bad at texting that I think I scare guys away. My friend is really good at texting, though. Is it weird if I get her to ghostwrite my texts to boys? —Mary, Queens
Not at all! I don't care who's writing my girl's texts, as long as I don't find out. Sometimes I even give a dart or two to my homeys when they're texting a chick late at night. These dudes want to be like, "Hey, baby, come over for a smoothie," or some weak shit like that. I'll put them on to some real boss talk. That's what friends are for.

A lot of people claim to have a good hangover remedy, but none of them have ever worked for me. And these hangovers are starting to catch up with me. Do you have any good tips for how to kill this fucking headache? I'm dying here! —Zach, Dallas
Oh, yeah. Here's what you've gotta do: Wake up, drink a little more of whatever you were drinking last night, then hit a blunt. Preferably a grape swisher. You back on, baby!

I recently got married. I love my wife, but her family is a lot better off than mine, and I can't stand them. They're such snobs. What should I do, Ross? —Matt, Atlanta
Sounds like you need to show them who the boss of your family really is. Pick a good time, step up and remind them that you're more valuable than any of those fools.

I've been seeing the girl of my dreams for two years – but lately I've started hooking up with a woman I met at the car wash where I work. I don't want to break up with my girlfriend, but I can't stop thinking about the car-wash girl. Is it possible to be with two women at the same time without either one finding out? —Jason, Hoboken, NJ
Oh, most definitely. Believe me, it's possible. If you're determined, you can do it. You've just got to become very, very charming. Ha!

As told to Simon Vozick-Levinson

This story is from the May 22nd, 2014 issue of Rolling Stone

To read the new issue of Rolling Stone online, plus the entire RS archive: Click Here

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Song Stories

“Try a Little Tenderness”

Otis Redding | 1966

This pop standard had been previously recorded by dozens of artists, including by Bing Crosby 33 years before Otis Redding, who usually wrote his own songs, cut it. It was actually Sam Cooke’s 1964 take, which Redding’s manager played for Otis, that inspired the initially reluctant singer to take on the song. Isaac Hayes, then working as Stax Records’ in-house producer, handled the arrangement, and Booker T. and the MG’s were the backing band. Redding’s soulful version begins quite slowly and tenderly itself before mounting into a rousing, almost religious “You’ve gotta hold her, squeeze her …” climax. “I did that damn song you told me to do,” Redding told his manager. “It’s a brand new song now.”

More Song Stories entries »
 
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