To be fair, there's every indication that Jack Johnson, the poet laureate of West Coast college trustafarians, wrote this song for children. It appears on the Curious George soundtrack, and it boasts the merry, reductive logic of a Rebecca Black B-side: "Three, it's a magic number/Yes it is, it's a magic number/Because two times three is six/And three times six is 18/And the 18th letter in the alphabet is R." Regardless, when Johnson implores his listeners a few stanzas later to swipe their siblings' clothes before buying their own, he should know: that will just get you beat up, regardless of age.

Listen to "The Corniest Pro-Environment Songs" Playlist: