4. Dave Matthews Band, 'Proudest Monkey'
Jam-band kingpin Dave Matthews can write with surprising tenacity… but only when he wants to. This isn't one of those times. As barbed as "Don't Drink the Water" is with its snarling stanzas on manifest destiny, "Proudest Monkey" (on 1996's Crash) is the cheesy inverse: a Pixar-ready tale of a little primate that makes his way to the big city, only to miss the quiet, simple ecosystem he left behind. Heavy lies the song that attempts to bring solemnity to the phrase "monkey see, monkey do," as this repeatedly does. Most egregiously, Matthews misses an opportunity to describe the hilarious people-clothes the monkey must've worn while in the cosmopolitan jungle.
Listen to "The Corniest Pro-Environment Songs" Playlist: