As we type, the editing artists over at CBS are frantically splicing together some semblance of a coherent appearance by Jessica Simpson from the recent John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts for lifetime achievement awards, set to be broadcast December 26th. Steven Spielberg, Smokey Robinson, Andrew Lloyd Webber, conductor Zubin Mehta, and Dolly Parton were among the honorees at the event, which featured Simpson's attempt to perform "Nine to Five" in Parton's honor. (Aretha Franklin was there, but somehow Simpson was still allowed onstage.) Apparently Simpson had a total meltdown, mumbled "so nervous" and left the stage before finishing the song. At least she didn't do a jig then blame her band.
Still: Who would you have rather seen honor Parton at these awards? We vote for the White Stripes doing "Jolene." You?