Every week Poison frontman Bret Michaels searches for a worthy life partner on Rock of Love Bus, while Rock Daily searches for ways to reference Showgirls in our recaps. Here's our take on episode 11:
Sixty Minutes of Rockin' Reality in Three Sentences: The final three girls hit Miami with Bret — sporting braids thanks to his Spring Break trip to Cancun, we presume — who reveals, "If there's one thing I love, it's Carnival" and dresses everyone up in skimpy Mardi Gras outfits. This puts Mindy in a funk, which becomes the theme of the episode: girls in crappy moods. During helicopter and swamp-boat-gatoring dates, Michaels pumps the ladies for info about Taya's mental stability, and after an awkward dinner where nobody speaks, he throws the gauntlet.
Hey-Oh!: Thank you, Taya, for re-creating one of the best scenes from Showgirls (Elizabeth Berkley's defiant "I'm a dancer!" scene). "I feature danced! No, I'm not a stripper." And a Taya bonus: insisting she didn't come on the show to promote anything while wearing a Penthouse shirt. This one's a keeper.
The Most Ridiculous Part: "I get to make out with Bret in a gator boat — who else can say that?" boasts Jamie. Uh, the answer is Mindy. And the second response is why are you proud of this?
The Rockin' Send-Off: Bret decides Jamie isn't looking for a serious relationship because she says she doesn't want to get married right away (a bit of a leap on his part) and sends her packing to ensure a dramatic Taya-Mindy showdown for next week's episode — presumably the last-ever Rock of Love since the preview scenes indicate Bret is ready to propose and even we can't take another season of this.