The Dutchess

All hail Fergie, the duchess of vaginal metaphors! Last year, in the Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps," Fergie was a camel stomping her lady lumps across the desert; in her solo smash "London Bridge," she's the mighty bridge across the River Thames, paving the way for future sequels like "Panama Canal" or "Sacred Ruins of Machu Picchu." The Dutchess is a shameless solo debut full of Eighties-style electro bangers, mostly produced by the Peas' Will.i.am, though Atlanta mogul Polow Da Don steals the show on "London Bridge" and "Glamorous." "London Bridge" is a total rip of "Hollaback Girl," but adding an actual song to "Hollaback Girl" is a brilliant idea. Fergie samples Afro Rican in "Fergielicious" and Little Richard in "Clumsy." You might get tired of hearing her come after a while — but then it's time for "Mary Jane Shoes," a strangely uplifting reggae ode to Fergie's favorite footwear.