A Public Affair

Did Ashlee get all the talent? On Jessica's big post-divorce statement, she still sounds like a prissy kid, braying, "I complete myself" in "I Belong to Me," her answer to Nick Lachey's "What's Left of Me." "A Public Affair" copies Madonna's "Holiday," "The Lover in Me" copies "Like a Prayer," and the Janet Jackson rip "If You Were Mine" combines the lyrics of "If" with the backing track from "When I Think of You." Who else could make "You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)" sound wholesome?