How To Solve the Problem of "Twilight" and "Gossip Girl" — Bring Them Together in a Mash-Up

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OK, from the looks of things New Moon has no problems. Chapter 2 in The Twilight Saga took in a gigunda $140 million this weekend. That's the third best weekend opening of all time, following The Dark Knight and Spider-Man 3. But here's the thing: New Moon won approval from only 29 percent of the nation's critics. So defend the movie all you want, but even Twi-hards know these film versions of Stephenie Meyer's novels could be way better.

Follow all of Rolling Stone's Twilight coverage — reviews, interviews, photos and more.

And look what's happening to Gossip Girl, once the primo guilty pleasure on the tube. But once the class graduated from high school and dispersed all over Manhattan, the show lost its focus. Based on the book series of the same name by Cecily von Ziegesar, Gossip Girl debuted on the CW in 2007 with 3.5 million viewers. Recent episodes have sunk below the 2 million level. OMFG!

What to do? My idea is to have the Cullen family of vampires move to the Upper East Side and shake up Blair Waldorf (Leighton Meester) and true love Chuck Bass, a bad boy for the time capsule as played by Ed Westwick.

The transition could be handled by Dr. Carlisle Cullen (Peter Facinelli) on the vampire side and, for the Gotham elitists, the Waldorfs can-do Polish maid Dorota (the indispensable Zuzanna Szadkowski). If it means turning Blair and Meester Chuck into vamps, so much the better. On screen, Twilight and New Moon put the spotlight on Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) choosing to go with bloodsucker Edward (Rob Pattinson) or werewolf Jacob (Taylor Lautner). The characters of the beautiful, reluctant vampire Rosalie (Nikki Reed) and her boyfriend Emmett (Kellan Lutz) are never developed the way Meyer fleshed them out on the page. Now's their chance.

Gossip Girl's Zuzanna Szadkowski (a.k.a. Dorota) stops by for Off the Cuff with Peter Travers, plus more Gossip Girl photos and interviews.

The composite photo above shows Rosalie and Emmett mixing it up with Blair, Chuck and Dorota. Just think of the mischief they could cook up. How would you pump new blood into the franchises of Twilight and Gossip Girl? Something needs to be done. And soon.