Welcome back Starchild – er, we mean Elliott Gilbert! After two long weeks, Adam Lambert's new character finally re-emerged on Glee (barely), in what might be one of the series' strangest and most disjointed episodes ever.
Airing on Thanksgiving, it definitely delivered a heaping helping of colorful filler – from singing puppets to Sue Sylvester turning fem. Perhaps the cast and crew just wanted to be silly in light of all that's unfolded this year, but it made for odd holiday TV viewing.
Meet Blaine Jong-il
When Mr. Schue doesn't show up for rehearsal, Blaine takes the lead – suggesting he fly solo on one of the numbers at Nationals since he's "won more show choir competitions than anyone in this room." Oh snap, as Becky would say, because this obviously isn't a popular outlook with the glee club kids. "Feels like North Korea up in here, Blaine Jong-il," Tina snaps.
Walking out in a huff because the McKinley crew didn't bow to his demands, Blaine calls Kurt to bitch but winds up being labeled a "control freak puppet master." With Kurt's words stuck in his head, Blaine sulks back into the rehearsal room and takes a seat next to a tainted air vent that makes him loopy to the point where his glee club cohorts turn into singing puppets. (Were they trying to compete with the Lady Gaga and the Muppets Holiday Spectacular that ran on rival network ABC or was it just a very odd coincidence?)
The first of his Muppet Show-like delusions involves Queen's "You're My Best Friend," in which his felted pals dance around singing his praises. Problem is, aside from wheelchair-bound Artie and uniform-clad Kitty, it's hard to tell anyone apart. The sooner you realize Jake looks like a monkey and Sam resembles the Muppets' hippie chick Janice, the easier it is to keep up.
Inspired by his "gas-induced fantasy dance experience," as Sue calls it, Blaine makes a puppet of Kurt in craft class and carries it around with him. Not weird at all, right?
The Beck-fast Club
After Sue confiscates "puppet Kurt," Blaine breaks into her office to take it back. (Again, not weird, um, right?) He lands himself in detention with foul-mouthed, buns-taping Becky and fight-starting Jake, which means he can't visit Kurt in New York City. (More on that in a minute.) But who cares, since he can sit around daydreaming about dancing dolls?
Blaine only starts questioning his actions when Tina catches him getting flirty with a hand-held creature he created in her image. Awkwardness aside, Tina tells him the New Directions crew has decided he deserves a solo at Nationals – he is a senior after all. To celebrate, he makes everyone puppets so they can perform a quick-cut, seizure-inducing rendition of the viral hit "The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?)" by Ylvis.
Meanwhile, Glambert is finally back (so is Demi Lovato as Dani) to help Kurt's band Pamela Lansbury get off the ground. Just what kind of music does a band named Pamela Lansbury perform? Madonna cover tunes, natch. And Kurt has booked their first gig – but the other members see it as career suicide because it's not at a cool club. However, Kurt has grandiose dreams of a packed house hanging on their every note as they sing "Into the Groove."
Kurt asks Blaine to come out for the big show, but the puppet master's detention gets in the way. That's probably for the best, since just one person shows up at the gig – and that person thinks namesake Angela Lansbury is performing.
However, that one guy knows a guy who books the trendy Williamsburg Music Hall, so Pamela Lansbury lands a respectable gig.
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Tracksuit
Back at McKinley, Sue hopes to officially secure the title of principal. After a rousing speech to Superintendent Harris, Sue is surprised when he asks her out – as a "coupla dudes." Yes, he thinks that she's a man. Ouch.
As Sue searches for what could have possibly led him to that conclusion, we learn that back in 1986, she donned a pink skirt-suit and long flowing hair on her first day on the job. But this look only got her laughed at by students so she changed into a tracksuit and lopped off her locks. Now, though, she thinks she needs to resort back to her girlie ways in order to actually land a date with the superintendent. After approaching both Will and Unique for help, Sue fems herself up and lands the permanent principal gig – but not the man of her dreams.
Someone who is getting a lot of action these days, though, is Jake, by "man-slutting" around with the whole cheerleading squad. When ex-girlfriend Marley tells him to get over himself, he busts out Janet Jackson's "Nasty" where he flaunts all his recent bumping and grinding in a puppet-free fantasy.
But he's snapped out of it when Bree tells him she's pregnant. Luckily it's a false alarm, as her "crimson tide" rolls in later that day. (Ladies, it's always best to take a test before announcing such things.) But while he's relieved, she's annoyed because he's "a douche-y little boy who's gonna spend the rest of his life dealing with one mess after another." When he says he'll make a great dad one day, she retorts: "To who? Your seven kids from seven different women?" Reality check for one, please.
Taking stock of his life, Jake begs Marley for forgiveness, saying he wants to be a better person. But it's too little too late: she doesn’t want him anymore. That's right, just walk away, girl – and don't ever look back.
Previous recap: 'Movin' Out' to New York City
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