Picture Gossip Girl with hard drugs, R-rated sex and bloody shooting massacres at parties for privileged Manhattan teens. Wait, that sounds like fun. Joel Schumacher's Twelve, from a much better 2002 novel by Nick McDonell, is a drag-ass slog with GG's Chace Crawford as a sober weed dealer, Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson as his supplier, and a young cast whose work is done by irritating, wall-to-wall voice-over from Kiefer Sutherland. Sorry, no XOXO for this slick, hollow hooey.

“Help Me”

Joni Mitchell wrote and recorded this song for her album Court and Spark, but she had to switch from her regular band to make the song sound exactly the way she wanted. "I had attempted to play my music with rock & roll players," she told Rolling Stone. "They’d laugh, 'Awww, isn't that cute? She's trying to teach us how to play.'" Mitchell switched to a jazz band, Tom Scott’s L.A. Express, and scored the biggest hit of her career in the process.