The Expendables 3

The Expendables 3

If you've seen Sylvester Stallone and his over-the-hill gang in 2010's The Expendables, paid up for the 2012 followup, and can't wait to see The Expendables 3, then you're a glutton for movie punishment and I can't help you. Stallone and his AARP, er CIA, mercenaries, including Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, Terry Crews, and Arnold Schwarzenegger, are back for more lame-ass mayhem, this time PG-13 instead of R-rated to bring in younger strays. Their mission? To stage a prison break for one of their founding members, Doctor Death (Wesley Snipes). Say what? I'm as confused as you are. A CIA biggie (Harrison Ford) suggests the codgers bring in fresh blood in the millennial-friendly faces of Kellan Lutz, Glen Powell, boxer Victor Ortiz and mixed martial artist Ronda Rousey. If the movie, sluggishly directed by Aussie Patrick Hughes, has any life, which is debatable, it comes from newbies Antonio Banderas as a chatty assassin and Mel Gibson entertainingly sending himself up as a guy everyone loves to hate. It's small consolation. The Expendables 3, trading on our affection for action stars of the past, has officially worn out its already shaky welcome.