Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II

The sequel to 1990's $100 million smash is amiably asinine. Let it go at that. The half-shell heroes are part of a hype juggernaut. This review merely marks the acting debut of rapper Vanilla Ice for the record.

Ice makes his appearance late in the film. While being chased by the evil Shredder and the Foot clan, the Turtles bust into an Ice concert. Trying to express surprise, Ice merely stares blankly at the camera, waiting for a song cue. His composition, "Ninja Rap," contains such deathless lyrics as "Go. Go. Ninja. Go." When the fight takes to the stage, Ice is curiously missing. Maybe his contract didn't call for him to hang around for the action, or maybe he just wimped out. Next time, if the Turtles really want to hurt 'em, they should call on Hammer.

From The Archives Issue 602: April 18, 1991
x