Teenagers, even non-ninjas and non-turtles, have been eating up this cinematic waste product for weeks now. In one way, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is a triumph for producer Michael Bay in that it is equally as godawful as his Transformers: Age of Extinction and a hit nonetheless. Pardon my cynicism. But it's hard to stomach the Bay contempt for youth audiences that says: You kids will lap up any crap I market with a big enough budget, even this worthless, brainless, needless reboot of the Ninja Turtle franchise. Director Jonathan Liebesman (Battle: Los Angeles, Wrath of the Titans) follows in the Bay tradition by substituting noise for nuance every chance he gets. The turtles, Leonardo (Pete Ploszek), Michelangelo (Noel Fisher), Donatello (Jeremy Howard) and Raphael (Alan Ritchson), are still holed up in the New York City sewer system. But they can't sit still when the city is attacked by the Shredder (Tohoru Masamune) and his evil Foot Clan. They're soon ID'd by TV news reporter April O'Neil (Megan Fox, foolishly defaulting back to Bay). It's April who persuades her editor (Whoopi Goldberg) to celebrate turtle vigilante heroics. Cowabunga! Now if only someone could persuade Bay that relentless action without compensatory feeling is a blight on movies and mankind. I know, it's never gonna happen.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
- Megan Fox
- Directed by Jonathan Liebesman
Around the Web
Powered By ZergNet
Around the Web
AskMenThe Top 99 Outstanding Women of 2015
Men's Journal12 Things Every Man Should Know About His Penis
The Daily BeastInside the Racy 'Sex Box' Reality Show
Men's Journal7 Reasons You Should Quit Facebook in 2015
Salon5 Mysteries We Hope the “X-Files” Reboot Will Resolve
Cinema Blend10 Great Movies To Watch Before Netflix Gets Rid Of Them On April 1
- The Neverending Nightmare of Amanda Knox
- New Tupac Music From the Vaults Headed for Release
- The Children of ISIS
- James Taylor's Mellow Rebirth: Inside 'Before This World'
- Zayn Malik Breaks Silence Following One Direction Split
- Watch George Lucas Mock Fox News on 'The Daily Show'
- Meet John Urschel, NFL Mathlete and Lover of Graph Laplacians
- Dr. Dre Talks N.W.A Biopic, Eazy-E's Death, Eminem and Making New Music