Terrorists, led by a wicked, slick Powers Boothe, hold the vice president (Raymond J. Barry) hostage in the owner's box at Pittsburgh's Civic Arena during the seventh game of the Stanley Cup finals. The prez must pay the $1.7 billion ransom in bank transfers during the game's three periods, or 17,000 fans may blow sky-high. To the rescue comes fireman Jean-Claude Van Damme. His two kids (Ross Malinger and Whittni Wright) are at the game, and the bad guys are holding a gun to his little girl's head. All together now: It's Die Hard Goes Hockey. Despite the elaborate stunts, go-go-go direction from Peter Hyams, plus butt-kicking and surprise goalie action from Van Damme, Death deserves the hockey-puck booby prize for joining the nasty Nick of Time in getting its jollies by putting kids in jeopardy.

“Help Me”

Joni Mitchell wrote and recorded this song for her album Court and Spark, but she had to switch from her regular band to make the song sound exactly the way she wanted. "I had attempted to play my music with rock & roll players," she told Rolling Stone. "They’d laugh, 'Awww, isn't that cute? She's trying to teach us how to play.'" Mitchell switched to a jazz band, Tom Scott’s L.A. Express, and scored the biggest hit of her career in the process.