Penelope

On the shelf for two years and deserving of a mercy killing, this modern fairy tale Christina Ricci (get this girl a good movie, pronto) as Penelope, an heiress born with the snout of a pig. The love of another snob can cure her, but her suitors run away in horror, which is stupid, since she's as cute as Miss Piggy. A pre-Atonement James McAvoy steps up to the plate to pay off his debts and, of course, finds true love. Director Mark Palansky wishes he was Tim Burton. So will you, because even with producer Reese Witherspoon showing up in a cameo, Penelope is dead on arrival.