It must have been hard labor for Josh Brolin to get in the makeup chair for hours to capture the disfigured look of DC Comics anti-hero Jonah Hex. Due respect to the talented Brolin, it's much harder to sit in a theater and watch this crapfest. Director Jimmy Hayward fails to establish a viable reason for this movie to exist. Jonah, a Civil War vet out for vengeance against Quentin Turnbull (yes, even the great John Malkovich can make wrongheaded job choices), the baddie who scarred Jonah's face after killing his wife and son. Quentin says Jonah did the same to his family. And on the whining goes, with Megan Fox peeking in as a whore with the traditional heart of semiprecious metal. Otherwise, Jonah is fated to ride alone. Don't make the mistake of keeping him company.

“Help Me”

Joni Mitchell wrote and recorded this song for her album Court and Spark, but she had to switch from her regular band to make the song sound exactly the way she wanted. "I had attempted to play my music with rock & roll players," she told Rolling Stone. "They’d laugh, 'Awww, isn't that cute? She's trying to teach us how to play.'" Mitchell switched to a jazz band, Tom Scott’s L.A. Express, and scored the biggest hit of her career in the process.