hansel and gretel: witch hunters

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton

Directed by Tommy Wirkola
Rolling Stone: star rating
5 0
Community: star rating
5 0 0
January 25, 2013

What to say about this lame-brained, limp dick attempt to update a classic Brothers Grimm tale into an f-bomb throwing vomit-inducing 3D franchise? I say, screw the damn thing and run the other way. It's all kinds of sad to see the gifted Jeremy Renner (Hurt Locker, The Town) tainting his rep for the sake of a quick payday. Renner plays the grownup Hansel. The British actress Gemma Arterton takes on Gretel, his sister. And they're both in the – wait for it – witch hunting business. That's a cue for Norwegian writer-director Tommy Wirkola (Dead Snow) to explode heads and toss stuff at us in 3D. Hansel's candy fetish has made him the first recorded diabetic of the Middle Ages. He carries an old-school hypodermic needle. Them's the jokes, folks. Hansel does have a keen eye for business. "Trolls are extra," he tells the sheriff (Peter Stormare). This may be the longest 90 minutes you ever spend in a theater. You¹ve been warned.

Movie Review Main Next


Community Guidelines »
loading comments

loading comments...


Sort by:
    Read More

    Movie Reviews

    More Reviews »
    Around the Web
    Powered By ZergNet
    Daily Newsletter

    Get the latest RS news in your inbox.

    Sign up to receive the Rolling Stone newsletter and special offers from RS and its
    marketing partners.


    We may use your e-mail address to send you the newsletter and offers that may interest you, on behalf of Rolling Stone and its partners. For more information please read our Privacy Policy.

    Song Stories

    “You Oughta Know”

    Alanis Morissette | 1995

    This blunt, bitter breakup song -- famous for its line "Would she go down on you in a theater?" -- was long rumored to be about Alanis Morissette getting dumped by Full House actor Dave Coulier. But while she never confirmed it was about him (Coulier himself says it is, however), she insisted the song wasn't all about scorn. "By no means is this record just a sexual, angry record," she told Rolling Stone. "The song wasn't written for the sake of revenge. It was written for the sake of release. I'm actually a pretty rational, calm person."

    More Song Stories entries »