What to say about this lame-brained, limp dick attempt to update a classic Brothers Grimm tale into an f-bomb throwing vomit-inducing 3D franchise? I say, screw the damn thing and run the other way. It's all kinds of sad to see the gifted Jeremy Renner (Hurt Locker, The Town) tainting his rep for the sake of a quick payday. Renner plays the grownup Hansel. The British actress Gemma Arterton takes on Gretel, his sister. And they're both in the – wait for it – witch hunting business. That's a cue for Norwegian writer-director Tommy Wirkola (Dead Snow) to explode heads and toss stuff at us in 3D. Hansel's candy fetish has made him the first recorded diabetic of the Middle Ages. He carries an old-school hypodermic needle. Them's the jokes, folks. Hansel does have a keen eye for business. "Trolls are extra," he tells the sheriff (Peter Stormare). This may be the longest 90 minutes you ever spend in a theater. You¹ve been warned.
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
- Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
- Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton
- Directed by Tommy Wirkola
Around the Web
Powered By ZergNet
Around the Web
MTV News19 Songs You Didn’t Know Ed Sheeran Wrote
VultureEvery American Idol Finalist, Ranked From Worst to Best
Cracked5 Famous Movies That Were Insane Parties Behind The Scenes
Mental Floss11 Actors Who Asked For Their Characters To Be Killed Off
Diffuser21 Best Alt Rock Albums
SalonSecrets Of The Female Pickup Artist
- A Final Visit With Prince: Rolling Stone's Lost Cover Story
- What Should We Make of the Hillary Clinton Indictment Speculation?
- What Jon Snow's Return Means for 'Game of Thrones'
- Met Gala 2016: Beyonce, Taylor Swift, Kanye West, Nicki Minaj and More
- How Six Classic Rock Legends United for One Mega Festival
- Stones, McCartney, Dylan, the Who, Waters, Young Confirm Mega-Fest
- Watch Pearl Jam Perform With Sting, Cheap Trick in New York
- 500 Greatest Albums of All Time