Do we really need another vampire movie? Well, this one is based on a popular tweener series of a dozen books by British writer Darren Shan. Director and co-writer Paul Weitz claims he loves the series, and Weitz's credits — he and his brother Chris Weitz gave us American Pie and About a Boy — got my attention. But the mess onscreen does no one any favors. The Cirque du Freak itself has flavor with sexy Salma Hayek as the bearded lady, 30 Rock's Jane Krakowski as a limb regenerator and especially stage actor supreme Michael Cerveris (Tommy, Sweeney Todd), swathed in foam rubber as the fatso villain, Mr. Tiny. Newcomer Chris Massoglia plays Darren, the blind teen who gets involved with the freaks (it's not that I can't tell you how, I just don't want to). But Darren does get bitten by redheaded vampire Larten Crepsley (John C. Reilly, giving the film the few laughs it has). Actually, Darren is only halfbitten. Hell, I'm not explaining that, either. All you need to know is that the movie is a setup for sequels that I hope never come. Jammed with story threads that don't cohere, Cirque commits the cardinal sin for a vampire movie: It's bloodless.

“Alison”

On Elvis Costello’s country-tinged ballad, the lyric does not get too sentimental in recalling an ex who had since been with one of the singer's "little friends" and is now married. Some believe the song is about murder, due to lines like “Sometimes I wish that I could stop you from talking,” "Somebody better put out the big light" and, of course, "My aim is true,” which became the title of Costello's debut album. In 2002, Costello told Rolling Stone, “It isn’t [about murder]. It’s about disappointing somebody. It’s a thin line between love and hate, as the Persuaders sang.”