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'True Blood' Recap: Heels Over Head

Warlow gives Sookie an ultimatum while Sarah Newlin's cover-up of Gov. Burrell's absence hits a snag

Anna Paquin as Sookie Stackhouse on 'True Blood.'
John P. Johnson/HBO
August 5, 2013 8:25 AM ET

With two episodes left this season, there is still plenty of time for Sookie to either change her mind or, more likely, find a loophole that will keep her from becoming, as she called it, Warlow's "faerie-vampire bride." But, like her Twilight counterpart, Bella Swan, it looks like she's resolved to add a pair of fangs to that gap-toothed smile no matter what happens. Except, unlike the underage Cullen couple, it's not true love that has driven her to this decision, but a much darker, sadder reason. She would rather "walk the earth as a corpse" than spend eternity buried next to the parents who tried to kill her.

Random Notes: Hottest Rock Pictures

Anna Paquin nails the scene where she reveals her choice – Warlow will help Bill feed and rescue all of the incarcerated vampires only if Sookie agrees to join him in immortality – at Corbett's and Michelle's graves. Through tears and tenacity, Sookie gives a big ol' "fuck you" (seriously, that's what she said!) to Mom and Dad and marches off to her destiny, swapping her girlish pigtails for a more mature updo – anything to deflect from that 6,000-year age difference – and black dress (well, Terry's funeral is the next morning). Eric, however, distraught over Nora's death and furious at Bill for not riding Sookie harder to bring Warlow so his sister could be saved, threw a wrench in everyone's plans with his own revenge agenda: When Sookie and Bill arrive in the faerie realm to pick up a much healthier form of nourishment for the Vamp Camp inmates, they discover Warlow drained almost to the point of death, Eric having ostensibly gotten access to the faerie dimension thanks to a few sips of Adilyn's blood.

Vampires and Humans
For once, Jason and Sookie have something in common besides blond hair and a syrupy drawl – Jason too has become the unwitting half of an eternal pairing. After Sarah had him thrown into female gen pop and the mysterious vampire Violet claimed him for her own, Jason learned that, yes, he is going to be Vi's blood and sex bitch (but not at the same time, as she carefully explains), as well as her life partner. See, Catholic Vi's been around since the medieval era, and she staunchly believes that a blood bond is forever, even if they get out of Vamp Camp. I really hope that this story line is expedited and eliminated quickly, because it's got werepanther written all over it, and that subplot went on for a season and a half longer than necessary. Meanwhile, the Hep-V version of TruBlood has begun its distribution within the prison walls, and although Pam, Willa, Jessica and Tara do their best to keep the truth under wraps, Jess can't help but warn James following their Dirty Dancing-inspired lovemaking session (who in turn spills to Steve). Then Violet gets wind of the secret when she overhears Tara saying she should drink her TB ration (what better way to rid Jason of his current problem?). Soon enough, this small group of six vamps who have suddenly lost their appetite has raised enough suspicion that they're brought into a familiar-looking room and left to await their fate until next week. Bill's vision from the start of the season is becoming a reality with every passing minute, and even Jess knows that this is where they're going to "meet the sun." But there's one vampire from Bill's premonition who is missing from this gathering: Eric. And now that he's had his own Warlow-infused meal, the worst thing UV rays might do to that fair-skinned Swede is a touch of sunburn.

For all of Bill's talk about Sookie having blood on her hands in last week's episode, the one who actually committed murder in "Dead Meat" was none other than sloppy political fixer (so much for my comparing her to Olivia Pope in my previous recap) Sarah Newlin. But my heavens was it fun to watch! In several previous interviews, Anna Camp had spoken about getting injured on the set and needing to go to the hospital in full Sarah hair and makeup, but it wasn't until this episode that we got to see the crazy-pants scene that sent her to the emergency room. When TruBlood representative Ms. Suzuki (The Karate Kid II's Tamlyn Tomita, woefully underused in only two episodes) shows up demanding to see Gov. Burrell she's none too thrilled he went back on his word to remain a "silent" partner – and discovers that her product is being "adulterated" by Hep V, Sarah permanently silences her whistle-blowing to the FDA in yet another classic True Blood girl-on-girl catfight. Sarah chases the Japanese businesswoman through the TB factory into the Vamp Camp corridors until she proceeds to both kill Suzuki and feed a hungry horde of vampires at the same time – don't ever say the woman can't multitask! As Suzuki trips on her six-inch stilettos, Sarah smashes her head into the steel grate directly above male gen pop – and when that doesn't work, she uses Suzuki's own snakeskin shoe to impale her (best line of the night was Sarah screaming "Die! Die! Die!" as if she were back at the Fellowship of the Sun, role-playing vampire attacks), her blood trickling down to the vampires below. Sarah may have thanked Jesus for helping her remove life from Ms. Suzuki's body, but it's unlikely he's going to save her from the shitstorm she has single-handedly created.

Weres, Humans and Shifters
Usually I'm against dudes beating up on girls, but I was thoroughly entertained watching Alcide kick Rikki's self-righteous ass to the ground several times over. Yeah, Alcide's been a douche for much of this season, but he's always been a good person at heart, and he wasn't going to let a power-hungry bully like his girlfriend take away his role as packmaster without a fight. Looks like Papa Jackson knew his son pretty well after all – not only did Alcide rescue Nicole and her mother and bring them to Sam in Bon Temps, but he renounced the Shreveport pack for good. All's well that ends well, right? Eh, not exactly. Just as the Wrights are about to hop a plane home, Sam begs Nicole to stick around, and all of a sudden the two are declaring their love for each other. Mrs. Wright isn't having any of this, her daughter being 23 and Sam a "silver fox" who allowed her to be kidnapped by werewolves. Wonder how both ladies are going to feel when they find out that Nicole is pregnant with Sam's baby. As he reveals to Sookie shortly afterward in their now-requisite one-scene-per-season, Sam wasn't sniffing his lady love's shampoo the night before, he was inhaling the fresh scent of a (possibly shape-shifting) Merlotte in the making. Better keep your identity hidden Sam, because you're going to put the home pregnancy test industry out of business.

Favorite Couple of the Week: Wade Cleary and Adilyn Bellefleur. This is only so I can talk about Eric's laugh-out-loud line apologizing for glamouring away Wade's memory that he succeeded in getting Andy's daughter's shirt off.

Winning Species of the Week: Humans. I continue to be impressed by how well True Blood has remained faithful to Brian Buckner's mission statement that a character's demise would be properly mourned. Terry remains a significant part of the show's story lines, as Arlene learned the truth that her husband's death was a suicide, courtesy of a last-minute $2 million insurance policy. There is no doubt that her guilt over having Terry glamoured 24 hours before he died will have a lasting effect.

Losing Species of the Week: Faeries. Poor Adilyn gets her first night out with two teenage boys (Holly's sons), only to have a tall, blond and scary vampire feed off her; Warlow spends most of the episode alone, his wrists bound so he can't protect himself, making it open season on his blood once Eric finds his way into faerie land; and Sookie is browbeaten into a life-changing decision she's not entirely comfortable with thanks to an aggressive Warlow, an intimidating Bill and the cruel, selfish behavior of her parents.

Previously: Blood Poisoning

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