James Franco faced a comedic firing squad last night during Comedy Central's Roast of James Franco. Seth Rogen led a who's who of the actor's friends at the fete: Jonah Hill, Sarah Silverman, Andy Samberg, Bill Hader, Aziz Ansari, Nick Kroll, Jeff Ross and Natasha Leggero. Almost nothing was off limits, as the comedians took turns taking shots at Franco's questionable acting choices and ambiguous sexuality; Hill's fluctuating weight; and the roast's largely Jewish cast. (Oddly, though, despite Franco's stoner-like demeanor, there were very few drug references.) Here, 10 of the best jokes of the night.
Seth Rogen: "Who is the real James Franco? Is he an artist? Is he an actor? Is he a scholar? He's tough to pin down; although I've heard many guys have been able to do it."
Nick Kroll: "If at any point tonight James Franco fully opens his eyes, there will be six more weeks of summer."
Kroll: "Just remember, if anyone bombs here tonight, they're just doing an impression of James Franco at the Oscars."
Jonah Hill: "Everyone is gonna make fun of James Franco for the Oscars, it's obvious. Everyone was saying James was dead up there! But I think that was Anne Hathaway's fault. I mean, fuck her for trying, like, at all!"
Hill: "You know how you always hear George Clooney and other big movie stars saying, 'My philosophy for making movies is: one for them and one for me.' But not my guy James. James is a rebel. He has his own philosophy on this: one for them, five for nobody."
Sarah Silverman: "Right before the show Seth Rogen rolled a gigantic fatty, because that was the only way we could get Jonah Hill onto the stage."
Silverman: "I don't think James Franco is necessarily gay or straight. I think he literally can't open his eyes enough to see who he's fucking."
Natasha Leggero: "Jonah Hill was born and raised in Hollywood, and you can tell – he's a name-dropper with big tits and an eating disorder."
Aziz Ansari: "Wow, so many gay jokes about James Franco tonight. Apparently if you're clean, well dressed and mildly cultured, you're super gay now. Is that why the rest of you guys are so aggressively fat and dirty? You think if you read one book and take a shower, dicks are just gonna fly into your face?"
James Franco: "This is truly my punishment for the Oscars."