3/19/07, 3:02 am EST

The Definitive Guide to Episodes Nine and Ten!

“EPISODE NINE: NATIONAL LAMPOON”

ACT ONE

With two weeks left before a winner is decided, the kids are given their last assignments — news stories for the National Affairs section of the magazine. They meet with editor Eric Bates to discuss ideas. Eric tells the kids they’ll be going out into the field to report on companies that RS has determined are the country’s worst polluters.

Russell’s assignment is to cover Peabody Coal; Colin’s is Exxon Mobil; Tika’s is ASARCO (a smelting and refining company). As soon as Tika starts making calls, she feels as though she hit a wall with the company’s PR department, so she tries going through other channels and arranges to travel to El Paso for research-gathering. She finds a woman from the community who offers to take her down to Mexico to see some of the plants first-hand.

Krystal is completely disinterested in the project. She’s been assigned to work on the Southern Company, one of the largest electricity generators in the country. Rather than start working, she RSVP’s to a Victoria’s Secret “pajama party” at the Chelsea Piers.

Krish makes contact with someone at Tyson Chicken about getting information on how waste from their chicken slaughterhouses affect the quality of life of the people who live nearby.

Pete makes plans to visit Corpus Christi to research Koch Industries, a petro-chemical refinery.

Meanwhile, Krystal meets with Eric to try and talk her way out of doing the National Affairs piece. After offering to work with her on it and help her get comfortable covering this kind of item, he agrees to take her off the story.

Russell meets with Joe to discuss traveling to Kentucky for a fact-finding mission for his Peabody Coal piece. Joe informs him that he will not be allowed to travel to Kentucky as punishment for two months of inappropriate and unprofessional behavior at the magazine.

Freed from working on a National Affairs piece, Krystal attends the Victoria’s Secret pajama party, where she’s treated like a VIP. She convinces the event’s publicist to walk her down the red carpet so people will “know who she is.” She eats it up.

ACT TWO

Krish arrives in Owensboro, Kentucky, to continue work on her Tyson Chicken story. She and environmentalist Aloma Dew drive around the town as Krish takes notes about the profusion of “chicken houses” in Owensboro. She visits local resident Bernadette Edwards to interview her about the impact the houses have had on her.

Colin touches down in Cordova, Alaska, where he meets with scientist Dr. Riki Ott to do research on the Exxon Valdez oil spill. Ott discusses the history of the notorious 1989 oil spill, and Colin heads out to the water to see the damage himself.

Back in NYC, Russell hands in his story on Peabody Coal to Eric. Eric says he missed the crux of the assignment.

Pete arrives in Corpus Christi, Texas, to meet with local residents and discuss Koch’s impact on the community. He meets with a group of Corpus Christi citizens who tell him that cancer is like an epidemic in the immediate environs of the refinery.

Tika heads to El Paso, Texas, to cover ASARCO and meets with one of the company’s representatives, who assures her that all precautions have been taken to keep ASARCO’s functioning “above board.” Tika travels across the border to talk to residents in a Mexican border town, where local activist Mariana Chew tells her the ground is toxic because of ASARCO’s manufacturing practices.

Back in New York, Krystal attends Paris Hilton’s record release party, meets Kathy Hilton and poses for a picture with Paris.

Colin, Tika, Krish and Pete wrap up their journeys and begin plotting how to tackle the writing end of the pieces. They’ve all come away from the experience with a profound attachment to their subjects. They turn in their pieces.

Eric meets with Joe to talk about how the stories turned out, informing him that Krystal refused even to attempt the story, and that Russell, while proving again that he’s a good writer, didn’t follow the directives of the assignment. Both Colin and Tika turned in drafts that needed a lot of work, but Krish and Pete did well with their subjects and showed their passion for the topics.

Joe meets with the kids to praise them for their efforts and remind them that this piece was their last chance to prove themselves to RS.

“ROLLING STONE OR ROLLING HOME”

ACT ONE

Russell regales random kids on the street with a tale about a book he wrote that he lost when he was drunk. He informs them that he’s in the running to win a position at Rolling Stone as part of a competition, that he’s the best writer of the group but also the craziest. Then he and his buddy Jose make their way to a church in Times Square so that Russell can “take a picture of God.”

On their way to a party, Pete and Krystal discuss life after the show…Pete says that assuming he doesn’t win a gig at RS, he’ll try and get work at another magazine. Krystal jokes that her only talent is for attending parties and admits that she didn’t do as much writing as she should’ve during her stint.

The next day, Joe drops in on the kids in the fishbowl to let them all know that the following day a decision will be made regarding who has won the opportunity to stay on as a contributing editor.

Colin talks about his uncertainty as a real contender in the competition.

Russell’s friend Jose eats lunch with Krish and Krystal and asks them how they’re feeling about the final announcement. Krish says she “hates competition” and thinks it’s “tacky.” Later, Krish says she thinks RS needs her and that if given the job, she’d be filling a void in the magazine with her knowledge of hip-hop.

Pete approaches Jann about possibilities for an internship at the magazine after the contest ends — assuming he isn’t selected. Jann says it’s worth discussing and he’ll consider it.

Tika says she’d be shocked if she did not win the competition. Her mother and aunt visit her in the city, and they talk about her battle plan for after the show. She tells them she still has her job from before the competition, and that she’d like to freelance. Her mother is not encouraging, but says she’s proud of her.

Russell airs his regrets about handling his responsibilities during the course of the show. He talks to his friend Nicole about being anxious for the decision to be made so he can stop stressing about it. She suggests that he show up the following day looking nice and convincing the editors that he cares about the job.

ACT TWO

The big day arrives and all the kids head into work…except for Russell, who’s still asleep on the floor of his apartment.

Joe pops his head into the fishbowl, acknowledges Russell’s absence, and tells the rest of the kids that they’ll gather them up with Jann and have the announcement for them in an hour.

Russell hops in a cab and heads to the office, still convinced that he might have a shot at the job.

At the office, Jann meets with Joe, Will, Eric and Jason to discuss the final verdict. Jann polls the editors on the kids’ abilities, progress and potential, and each kid is analyzed in depth. As the kids await the decision, they dance and drink in the fishbowl.

ACT THREE

Jann and Joe enter the fisbbowl to announce the winner. They applaud the kids for all the work they did in their months at the magazine, and proceed to eliminate each writer one by one until the winner is all who remains.

Krystal is the first to go . . .

Next is Colin . . .

Then Russell . . .

Then Tika . . .

Then Pete . . .

. . . . and the winner is . . . . KRISH!