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The Atmosphere you created in your writing made me feel even more sorry I wasn’t there but gave me a sensation of sharing the experience.
Great writing

Guess they were looking for something different, bro. I thought you painted the picture better than anyone else (including me). Quality writing…

What happened? Was the prose too florid? Maybe I should’ve shot for a grittier take.

Okay, gotcha. I once read about movie theaters being kept especially cold, so I didn’t know if it was something like that, or if it was just really warm out there. I know it was a few weeks back. Thanks for clarifying!

Not sure Chrys - it might not have been on. Just rumbling and creaking (maybe from the people walking above). Or they might have needed it because the close quarters generated a lot of body heat. I don’t know if they were actually using it - only that it kept interrupting the show.

Can I ask a (maybe retarded) question?

Why was there air-conditioning? I have read your piece a few times, and each time I stumble across that. I had heard about it being pretty warm on the east coast (my family lives in NJ), but was it really that warm out? Or was there some other reason?

Sure makes a person wonder about global warming!

Congrats man!

Hey Glamzilla. When you cut your wrists, remember. It’s down the road, not across the street.

MAKE IT COUNT, EMO KID!

Oh! And the Ramones! And the Modern Lovers! Speaking of music writing - Greil Marcus’s Lipstick Traces has an amazing section about Roadrunner. (He writes that where punk started songs with: ‘1,2,3′ and deleted the ‘4′, just jumping into the song - Roadrunner goes to 6, using the two extra beats to collect their breathes before beginning. They were circumspect about what message they wanted to put out there about themselves.)

Also, the only person Mordy shacks up with is Mrs. Mordy (aka: Charlotte, aka: Squeakycat).

Woah, all. First off - thanks for the kind words everyone, including Glamzilla1976 (btw; 1976 great year for music. Songs in the Key of Life /and/ Heijira!).

Second; I’m grateful that Rolling Stone lets me keep competing. I’m always growing as a writer, and being limited to my first submission would put me as a disadvantage to people who have all 10 weeks to grow. 10 weeks is practically a semester course.

Anyhow - I understand both sides of the argument. No reason to fight about it here. Fresh blood is always great; I’ve encouraged all my friends to start submitting. And it should be competitive. Shame they can’t have 40 finalists.

Hey, BJ and your fellow “show don’t tell”-idiots. Intro to Creative Writing called. They want you to shut the fuck up. You are a broken record. Lick don’t bite, like a good BJ.

Fuck you guys. I never said he wasn’t talented. I said if he’s already in the running his spot should go to somebody who hasn’t won. I suspect at leat one of you is shacking up. Again, I say fuck you. and notice the difference between suggestion and personal conficlit…you fucking assholes!!

glamzilla1976-
this is not grade school. if this is really a talent contest, then the best should be featured. period. this mordechai fellow has chops to the extreme. this piece epitomized the “show don’t tell” caveat of good writing. other contestants should take notes.

You writing places the reader smack down in the cafe, that night– performers, drinks, rickety air conditioner– the experience is sensual, immediate, compelling.. I’m there. Great writing.

I really don’t think this guy should get to be a finalist every week. He already won the first week, and will be able to compete for the gig. They should really give his spot to somebody else that hasn’t won yet. Not that the kid doesn’t have talent, but I just think they should get some fresh blood in the contest as much as possible.

Morse has some competition, methinks. This kid’s got it–and got to the point faster. That was white-hot.

That was a beautiful ending. Nice job.