Who Needs Sex? Create Your Own Girlfriend Online

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Lovelorn shut-ins and social outcasts can now simulate and show off their ideal woman online. New service Cloud Girlfriend, which virtually creates your dream girl and makes her appear real to users of social networks via ongoing updates, promises to let you experience the joys of a genuine pretend relationship.

According to Business Insider, live surrogates will post to your Facebook wall under the guise of your perfect woman, fooling friends and potential mates into thinking you’re suave enough to have a significant other. Company co-founder David Fuhriman claims the site and its virtual beaus will make subscribers appear more datable and “have a therapeutic value . . . that fulfills psychological needs like intimacy and friendship.” It’s also suggested that virtual interactions will prepare users for actual flings, albeit without the fights over the remote control or whose turn it is to pick Chinese takeout.

Unfortunately, despite assurances, the service may fall afoul of Facebook’s policies against creating fake profiles. As with any blatant lie, there’s no guarantee it’ll make you any more attractive or appealing. Still, anyone who’s ever wanted to live out the plot of a romantic comedy may find it an attractive option. Just beware of potential exposure of the truth, as those outed on such public forums might as well brand a giant “L” onto their foreheads going forward.