We've just watched the first episode of Californication, a brave new dark comedy premiering on Showtime in August, and we're pleased to announce that it's not only our favorite new show, it's also the dirtiest program that's ever graced our TV without requiring our credit card number first. In the opening sequence alone, one-hit-wonder novelist Hank Moody (David Duchovny) walks into a church, throws a lit cigarette into the holy water, curses Jesus, lets a nun unzip his pants, hooks up with a married woman, uses graphic hand gestures to map out the wife's anatomy for her husband, introduces his 13-year-old daughter to a naked female "friend," and proceeds to [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] anything that's not illegal and/or threatening his kid. And yet, while we admit to getting a kick out of watching Agent Mulder ogle nine naked breasts in one episode (we counted) and reclaim a sexual term we haven't heard since junior high, we also love this show because it's an "adult comedy" that manages to actually be adult. When Hank's dealing with real issues -- "writers' block, child custody, unsettled terms with his ex -- he fires off the F-bomb with all the pathos that only a slutty alcoholic middle-aged single father can wield, and Duchovny's new, lined-forehead, greasy-haired look makes that pathos feel real. The haggard bad-ass thing works for the guy, and we can't wait to see more of it this fall.