Former Teen Mom star/walking cautionary tale Farrah Abraham turns 23 on Saturday, and to celebrate, she's throwing a super-sexy birthday bash at New York City hotspot Pacha – one we (and presumably every other member of the media) were lucky enough to be invited to.
On Thursday afternoon, our inbox was graced with the official invitation to Abraham's party, and needless to say, it is befitting of her legacy, which includes – but is not limited to – a pair of sex tapes, a pasta sauce, a pop album and a recent appearance on VH1's Couples Therapy, where she became the first person in the series' history to show up without a partner.
Promising appearances by "Reality TV's Sexiest Stars," music by something named Freshkiid and an exclusive look at Abraham's new erotic E-book trilogy, it's shaping up to be the year's biggest party... or at least the biggest one sponsored by a frozen-yogurt chain and a clothing company that makes "urban street wear for kings and queens."
If you couldn't tell, we're irrationally excited (we don't get invited to that many parties, after all). And we've decided to share that excitement with you, by not only including Farrah's birthday invite, but pointing out the most amazing things about it. Please enjoy, and remember, RSVP is a must.
• The fact that, by her own admission, this is only the "23rd Sexiest Birthday Bash Ever." Presumably ranking ahead of it? The Marquis de Sade's 21st B-Day Blowout, our cousin Jeffrey's bar mitzvah.
• The sponsors, which include 16 Handles, Goody's Popcorn, Monster Energy and "Sutra Sparkling Liqueur." Much better than last year's birthday, which was brought to you by Shame and Regret.
• We're not sure what a "Sneak Peak" is, but we're bringing our mountain-climbing gear just in case.
• Tickets are $25, which you could use to buy books for school children. Or, you could just send them Farrah's erotic E-Book trilogy.
• Topco Sales, "a leading global manufacturer for the adult novelty industry," is also sponsoring. If Farrah had this much adult supervision as a child, none of this would have ever happened.
• The event is 21+, which means Farrah's daughter Sophia will probably be left at coat check. Again.
• Much like the birthday girl herself, formal attire is not required to gain entrance.