Day jobs: Stand-up comic, columnist
Pet topics: His penis; other people's boobs; Mitt Romney.
Primo Tweet: "Drinking Mike's Hard Lemonade is a chill, low key way to let your fellow partiers know you've got herpes."
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Random Notes: Hottest Rock Pictures
Video: 'Captain America' Sequel Is Super
Gallery: Coachella 2014: Rolling Stone's Best Live and Backstage Photos