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82 items by Halle Kiefer

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  'Girls' Recap: She Thinks About That Fun and She Learns From That Fun | ARTICLE

  "The Return" marks a very special occasion for Girls: the show's first wiener! Or, wiener-area, I guess. I didn't rewatch to make sure. As a diligent viewer, it probably came as no surprise that it belonged to...

  May 20, 2012 11:05 PM ET
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  'Girls' Recap: Don't Abandon Me | ARTICLE

  On any other show, Hannah would have gotten a sweet, hot monologue after Adam finally broke up with her. She would have eviscerated him with a Dixie Carter-style diatribe, or begged him to stay Carrie-style, offering her...

  May 14, 2012 11:00 AM ET
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  'Girls' Recap: 'Sorry' Doesn't Cut It | ARTICLE

  Toward the end of this week's episode, Hannah stands trembling on Adam's doorstep, ready to break things off after he texts her a photo of his wiener wrapped in a squirrel skin… a photo meant for another...

  May 7, 2012 10:25 AM ET
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  'Girls' Recap: What Would Robyn Do? | ARTICLE

  Let's just get it out of the way up top: something definitely got up around the sides of that condom. Or, more accurately, not even condoms can stop the creeping dread that is HPV. "All Adventurous...

  April 29, 2012 11:05 PM ET
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  'Girls' Recap: Crossing the Line | ARTICLE

  There's a scene at the end of this week's episode of Girls where Hannah finds herself on the business end of a speculum, having figured out the particular level of sexual hygiene practiced by her truly awful...

  April 22, 2012 11:05 PM ET
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  'Girls' Recap: Am I Right, Ladies? | ARTICLE

  In case you weren't aware of it (say, if you just woke up from a coma on the moon), Lena Dunham's Girls premiered tonight on HBO. Co-produced by Judd Apatow and featuring the offspring of both Brian...

  April 15, 2012 11:05 PM ET
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  'Jersey Shore' Recap: The Cabs Are Here for Thee | ARTICLE

  No matter how much we love the boobs, eventually they too must leave us, strapped into bombshell bras and tube tops in clubs and cities we cannot visit, we cannot know, at least until MTV decides how...

  March 16, 2012 9:10 AM ET
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  'Jersey Shore' Recap: Oh My God, the Wilderness | ARTICLE

  Where is the Jersey Devil when you need him? If there was one night where the Pine Barrens should have echoed with the soul-rending screams of the damned, it should have been Wednesday. Whichever Wednesday it was...

  March 9, 2012 10:35 AM ET
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  'Jersey Shore' Recap: What Happened to Smoosh Bed? | ARTICLE

  Love is in the air, as is the bronzer and hairspray they are constantly aspirating, when JWoww decides to celebrate her one-year anniversary with Roger by decorating the Smoosh Room. I always imagined the Smoosh Room to...

  March 2, 2012 9:35 AM ET
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  'Jersey Shore' Recap: Whatever Lola Wants, Lola Gets | ARTICLE

  WHY WOULD THEY MIC JIONNI BARFING LIKE THAT?!?! Good holy god. Hearing his drunken retching was like catching a glimpse of that clogged downstairs toilet from last season, but for the ears. Actually, this whole episode...

  February 24, 2012 12:25 PM ET
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  'Jersey Shore' Recap: Too Many Hot Dogs | ARTICLE

  I . . . I take back all those things I said about Roger. I take back all those terrible things I said about that big bronze mountain of a man, that emotionally mature mass of delts...

  February 17, 2012 9:15 AM ET
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  'Jersey Shore' Recap: Gloom and Doom | ARTICLE

  Roger is dead to me. Let’s just get that out there up top. Just when you start to think two people can see through each other’s tight sausage casing biceps and comically large bazooms to the tiny...

  February 10, 2012 11:30 AM ET
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  'Jersey Shore' Recap: Cranberry Juice and False Eyelashes | ARTICLE

  I don’t know how Jersey Shore has been on the air this long without someone getting a UTI. I really don’t. Five seasons of synthetic thongs, drunken screwing on bare mattresses, gallons of Bod cologne sprayed directly...

  February 3, 2012 9:30 AM ET
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  'Jersey Shore' Recap: GTGet Vinny Back | ARTICLE

  Is Danny, the T-shirt shop guy . . . God? Following Vinny's exit from the show to deal with clinical anxiety and the Situation's exit to go cry on the boardwalk for a few hours about how...

  January 27, 2012 11:25 AM ET
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  'Jersey Shore' Recap: A Tragic Situation | ARTICLE

  Vinny may have moved out of the house at the end of last week's episode, but everyone seems to be handling the news in the calm, mature manner befitting a house full of grown adults. What are...

  January 20, 2012 11:45 AM ET
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  'Jersey Shore' Recap: Every Day I'm Sufferin' | ARTICLE

  So, Pauly's face is just a big mass of squamous cell carcinoma at this point, right? "I peeled, then I exfoliated, then I burned the part I exfoliated," he whimpers, the whites of his...

  January 13, 2012 10:30 AM ET
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  'Jersey Shore' Recap: Hurricane Situation | ARTICLE

  USA! USA! USA! Having exported the Jersey experience to Italy for a spell, the gang finds themselves stateside for Season Five. Did anyone else besides me forget that watching Jersey Shore is like someone...

  January 6, 2012 11:25 AM ET
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  'Jersey Shore' Finale Recap: Sight See, Go Hard, Leave | ARTICLE

  And so yet another season of Jersey Shore ends: not with a bang, but with a calm, quiet discussion about how everyone can't stand you, Mike. Ronnie is dispatched to have a reasoned adult conversation with the...

  October 21, 2011 12:10 PM ET
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  'Jersey Shore' Recap: Nobody Likes the Situation | ARTICLE

  Remember that scene in Spider-Man when Willem Defoe-as-Green-Goblin finally has a psychotic break and launches into that broken-mind monologue delivered at his own alter ego? This week's Jersey Shore episode ends on a similarly unsettling note, with...

  October 14, 2011 11:50 AM ET
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  'Jersey Shore' Recap: Snooki's Convoluted Confessional | ARTICLE

  Well, we all knew it was coming: The Situation has finally and completely broken with reality. For the entire Jersey Shore season, Mike has been trending toward incoherence, and now he has completed his metamorphosis into a...

  October 7, 2011 2:55 PM ET