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93 items by Halle Kiefer

  • 'Girls' Recap: I'm 100% Not Getting Weird

    'Girls' Recap: I'm 100% Not Getting Weird | ARTICLE

    I'm with George on this one. It takes a stone-cold sociopath to roll one's eyes and make condescending grunts when confronted with one's infidelity, and that's even ignoring the part where Elijah managed to sleep with his...

    January 21, 2013 7:39 AM ET
  • 'American Horror Story: Asylum' Recap: The Future Is Coming

    'American Horror Story: Asylum' Recap: The Future Is Coming | ARTICLE

    We're coming into the home stretch, and Ryan Murphy is putting the pedal to the metal! Full throttle! God, I wish I knew anything about baseball or cars to flesh out those idioms, but you know what...

    January 16, 2013 11:05 PM ET
  • 'Girls' Premiere Recap: I Feel How I Feel When I Feel It

    'Girls' Premiere Recap: I Feel How I Feel When I Feel It | ARTICLE

    While the hairy leg we see at the beginning of last night's Girls premiere is sadly not Lena Dunham's (as I silently hoped and prayed), I for one am happy to welcome back Dunham's naked body to...

    January 14, 2013 8:55 AM ET
  •  'American Horror Story: Asylum' Recap: A Mother's Work Is Never Done

    'American Horror Story: Asylum' Recap: A Mother's Work Is Never Done | ARTICLE

    I honestly feel like AHS: Asylum and I are in a successful long-term relationship at this point. Just when I start to take it for granted, just when I think I know it better than it knows...

    January 9, 2013 11:05 PM ET
  • 'American Horror Story: Asylum' Recap: All About Judy

    'American Horror Story: Asylum' Recap: All About Judy | ARTICLE

    Well, it finally happened. We arrived at an episode of AHS: Asylum that made me grumble under my breath, "Okay, sure, but what about. . .?" I didn't object when Sister Jude saw a goddamn alien at...

    January 2, 2013 11:05 PM ET
  • 'American Horror Story: Asylum' Recap: Calm Down, Mommy

    'American Horror Story: Asylum' Recap: Calm Down, Mommy | ARTICLE

    This week's episode was truly one for the LAY-DIIIIIIIES! That is to say, it was an episode seemingly written specifically to make the female fury rise, ladies knees' lock together and womanly faces freeze into masks of...

    December 12, 2012 11:05 PM ET
  • 'American Horror Story: Asylum' Recap: He Knows When You’ve Been Sleeping

    'American Horror Story: Asylum' Recap: He Knows When You’ve Been Sleeping | ARTICLE

    It's beginning to look a lot like Santa rape! Apparently, I'm more precious about Christmas than I am about Anne Frank, because there were more than a few moments in this week's episode that had my face...

    December 5, 2012 11:05 PM ET
  • 'American Horror Story: Asylum' Recap: The Dark Angel Rises

    'American Horror Story: Asylum' Recap: The Dark Angel Rises | ARTICLE

    What is it about an older woman with a perfectly drawn lip that makes me want to give her my immortal soul? Francis Conroy wouldn't be the first person I thought of when I pictured the Dark...

    November 28, 2012 11:05 PM ET
  • 'American Horror Story: Asylum' Recap: Baby Needs Colostrum

    'American Horror Story: Asylum' Recap: Baby Needs Colostrum | ARTICLE

    This week on AHS: Asylum, Bloody Face a.k.a. Dr. Thredson finally gets to tell his side of the flesh-rending story to a cowering Lana. Like every serial killer since the beginning of time, he is one long-winded,...

    November 21, 2012 11:05 PM ET
  • 'American Horror Story: Asylum' Recap: Instincts Are Everything

    'American Horror Story: Asylum' Recap: Instincts Are Everything | ARTICLE

    So it wasn't Anne Frank after all. OR WAS IT? No, I don't believe it was. AND YET. Before we learn the "true" identity of Anne, however, Sister Jude pays a visit to Mr. Goodman, a kindly...

    November 14, 2012 11:05 PM ET
  • 'American Horror Story: Asylum' Recap: Your Story Is Indecent

    'American Horror Story: Asylum' Recap: Your Story Is Indecent | ARTICLE

    Call me a prude, but my monocle must have fallen off my face and into a steaming pile of synthetic intestines six or seven times last night. I haven't the constitution to handle skin-removing aliens, misogynist serial...

    November 7, 2012 11:05 PM ET
  • 'American Horror Story: Asylum' Recap: Storm's A-Brewin'

    'American Horror Story: Asylum' Recap: Storm's A-Brewin' | ARTICLE

    Is Ryan Murphy some kind of dark meteorologist? Did he know that the real world would experience a cataclysmic storm the same week as the poor souls at Briarcliff? Hopefully he wasn't predicting yet another horrible future...

    October 31, 2012 11:05 PM ET
  • 'American Horror Story: Asylum' Recap: Judy vs. the Devil

    'American Horror Story: Asylum' Recap: Judy vs. the Devil | ARTICLE

    Aaaaaand Adam Levine is dead. We don't know that for sure, but boy, he does not look good, what with the meat-hook wounds in his chest. Tonight's Tricks and Treats picks up right where the season premiere...

    October 24, 2012 11:05 PM ET
  • 'American Horror Story: Asylum' Recap: Productivity, Prayer and Alien Hands

    'American Horror Story: Asylum' Recap: Productivity, Prayer and Alien Hands | ARTICLE

    There might be no way to recapture the effervescent weirdness of American Horror Story's pilot episode. I watched it again last night and the icky fun is in the specific details: a dog-bone mobile tinkling in the...

    October 17, 2012 11:05 PM ET
  • 'Snooki & JWoww' Finale Recap: The Heart Isn't All That Tears in Two

    'Snooki & JWoww' Finale Recap: The Heart Isn't All That Tears in Two | ARTICLE

    So that's how the first season of Snooki & JWoww ends: not with a bang, but with a robot baby being forcibly and methodically fed carrot sticks. Seems about right. Seeing as how they have to shoot...

    September 14, 2012 10:18 AM ET
  • 'Snooki & JWoww' Recap: Three Gay Joeys and a Fake Baby

    'Snooki & JWoww' Recap: Three Gay Joeys and a Fake Baby | ARTICLE

    News that the sixth season of Jersey Shore will be its last has me pondering the nature of reality TV, or at least the kind of reality TV where no competes for anything. What is that sweet...

    August 31, 2012 9:45 AM ET
  • 'Snooki & JWoww' Recap: The Only Thing You're Winning at Is Losing Me

    'Snooki & JWoww' Recap: The Only Thing You're Winning at Is Losing Me | ARTICLE

    Last night's episode of Snooki & JWoww was a portrait of hope, love and the ability to forgive your boyfriend for posing for a photo with another woman. We should all be so brave. The way Snooki and...

    August 24, 2012 10:50 AM ET
  • 'Snooki & JWoww' Recap: The Most Insecure Person in the World

    'Snooki & JWoww' Recap: The Most Insecure Person in the World | ARTICLE

    After weeks of bickering, it's nice to be reminded why Snooki and JWoww make such a winning team to begin with. Last night's episode opened on Snooki's nightmare slog through their vacation in Cancun, an endless barrage...

    August 17, 2012 12:00 PM ET
  • 'Snooki & JWoww' Recap: Spring Breakdown in Cancun

    'Snooki & JWoww' Recap: Spring Breakdown in Cancun | ARTICLE

    What if Snooki and JWoww frolicked with dolphins in every episode? Maybe they could solve crimes too? Actually, what Snooki & JWoww really needs is a dose of pregnancy talk in every episode: a discussion of surging hormones,...

    August 10, 2012 11:35 AM ET
  • 'Snooki & JWoww' Recap: Roger Dodger

    'Snooki & JWoww' Recap: Roger Dodger | ARTICLE

    What do you do with a problem like Roger? Never have I met a reality TV character so vexing, so ever-changing, so unnaturally shiny and red for no readily apparent biological reason. I want to like him....

    August 3, 2012 10:55 AM ET
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