Is Eddie Murphy, decked out in drag and a fatsuit (see photo), the year's worst actor in Norbit?
Is Lindsay Lohan, playing the dual roles of amnesiac and skeevy stripper (see photo), a lock for Worst Actress in I Know Who Killed Me?
Welcome to the Razzies, an organization founded in 1980 by John Wilson to mete out punishment to the movies that punished us. On Feb. 23rd, the day before the Oscars, the Golden Raspberry Award Foundation will once again stick it big time to Hollywood’s most egregious suckfests. The Razzie trophy aptly features a cluster of balls. As you know, the wussy Oscar statuette has no balls. Razzie winners rarely show up to accept their trophy, except for Tom Green who admirably appeared in 2002—with five feet of his own red carpet—to accept his due for Freddy Got Fingered.
What I admire most about the Razzies—I’m a long time voting member—is that the award only goes to the gloriously godawful. A movie is only Razzie worthy when its intrinsic worthlessness sinks to levels so low that the pain of watching it turns to pleasure.
You know what I’m saying. Webster’s defines the slang for raspberry as “a sound of derision or contempt, made by expelling air forcibly so as to vibrate the tongue between the lips.” So put your lips together and blow as we eyeball a few of this year’s nominees. By all means, feel free to add some of your own if you think a genuine baddie got away.
WORST PICTURE
Bratz
Daddy Day Camp
I Know Who Killed Me
I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
Norbit
Norbit easily takes the racist, sexist cake for comedy. But I'd like to see a few of Hollywood's pompous Iraq war movies take a hit, especially Rendition.
WORST DIRECTOR
Dennis Dugan - I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK & LARRY
Roland Joffe - CAPTIVITY
Brian Robbins - NORBIT
Fred Savage - DADDY DAY CAMP
Chris Siverston - I KNOW WHO KILLED ME
Since Roland Joffe once flew high as the director of The Killing Fields and The Mission, he ought to be forced to grovel for Captivity, a chunk of torture porn that's not even as honest as the Saw franchise. By that standard, Curtis Hanson (L.A. Confidential, The Wonder Boys) also took a fall with Lucky You.
WORST ACTOR
Nicolas Cage GHOST RIDER, NATIONAL TREASURE: BOOK OF SECRETS and NEXT
Jim Carrey THE NUMBER 23
Cuba Gooding, Jr. DADDY DAY CAMP and NORBIT
Eddie Murphy (as Norbit) NORBIT
Adam Sandler I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK & LARRY
Worthy nominees all. Eddie Murphy was so offensively bad in each of the three roles he played in Norbit that it probably cost him the Best Supporting Actor Oscar last year for Dreamgirls. Here he's only nominated for his role as the title character (he's much worse in drag), so I'd give the prize to Nic Cage for sleepwalking through three films. And how about a write-in vote for Hayden Christensen in Awake and an early nod for next year for taking all the jump out of Jumper?
WORST ACTRESS
Jessica Alba AWAKE, FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER and GOOD LUCK CHUCK
Logan Browning, Janel Parrish, Nathalia Ramos & Skyler Shaye (A Four-for-One Deal!) BRATZ
Elisha Cuthbert CAPTIVITY
Diane Keaton BECAUSE I SAID SO
Lindsay Lohan (as Aubrey) I KNOW WHO KILLED ME
Lindsay Lohan (as Dakota) I KNOW WHO KILLED ME
Lohan wins in a walk, especially as Dakota the stripper. But where's Hllary Swank for following two Oscar wins with The Reaping and P.S. I Love You? Sheesh.
WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Orlando Bloom PIRATES OF THE CAROB-BEAN: AT WIT'S END
Kevin James I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK & LARRY
Eddie Murphy (as Mr. Wong) NORBIT
Rob Schneider I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK & LARRY
Jon Voight BRATZ, NATIONAL TREASURE 2, SEPTEMBER DAWN and TRANSFORMERS
I'll go with Orlando Bloon who is bland enough to make Hayden Christensen look exciting. My write-in vote goes to the excruciatingly unfunny Robin Williams in License to Wed.
WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Jessica Biel I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK & LARRY and NEXT
Carmen Electra EPIC MOVIE
Eddie Murphy (as Rasputia) NORBIT
Julia Ormond I KNOW WHO KILLED ME
Nicolette Sheridan CODE NAME: THE CLEANER
It's here, in his drag fatsuit, that Eddie Murphy brings down womankind and his own career. Crass, thy named is Eddie M as Rasputia. Question: Why the free ride for Nicole Kidman in The Golden Compass, her face frozen into a botoxed version of Darth Vader?
WORST PREQUEL OR SEQUEL
Alien vs. Predator: Requiem
Daddy Day Camp
Evan Almighty
Hannibal Rising
Hostel: Part II
All bad, yes, but the third Pirates of the Caribbean showed just how low talent would sink for a paycheck, and Rush Hour 3 and Shrek the Third weren't far behind.
Good luck, Razzie—we'll all be waiting next week to see who you razz the most?
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The Enemy Below | January 6, 2009 6:15 PM
Well,I don't know if you've done 2008's worst movies,but here's my candidates:
(A):Delgo.An Independent Animated Epic Featuring an All Star Voiceover Cast Including Freddie Prinze,Jr.and Jennifer Love Hewitt.
The Producers Wanted To Challenge Disney and Dream Works For The Animated Dollar,Turned Out Disney and Dream Works Had The Last Laugh!!!
Delgo Royally Bombed at The Box Office!!
(B)An American Carol.A NeoCon Fantasy About Michael Moore Outlawing July 4 and The Ghosts of George Patton and George Washington Showing Him The Errors of His Ways:A Nazi/Commie Controlled World,Modern Plantations,etal.!!
Kelsey Grammer as General Patton???'Frasier Crane'as'Ol'Blood&Guts'??
Puhlease!!!
Gary Coleman as a Modern Day Slave??Whatchu Talkin'Bout Willis??
Chris Farley's Brother Kevin as a Michael Moore Look Alike??
Country Singer-And I Use The Term Loosely-Trace Adkins as"The Angel of Death"??
Maybe I'm Just an Old Curmedgeon,But Adkins;Keith;McGraw;etal. Are Just Pretty Boy Hat Acts!!
Johnny Cash;Merle Haggard;George Jones;Guys Like That Are Country Singers!!
Just Because You Put On a Hat and Sing a Few Cliches About Patriotism Doesn't Make You a Country Singer!!
And Michael Moore??Oh Puhlease,Part Two!!
Yes,He's a Self Absorbed Filmmaker and Pain In The Ass!!
But How Can He Change American Holidays??
He Can't!!!Also,Not That Many People See His Movies!!!
Yes,I Get Tired Of These Hollywood Types Who Think Theyr'e Self Proclaimed Experts On Everything,But Woody Harrelson;Tim Robbins;Susan Sarandon Don't Know Everything!!
Ignore Em'And They'll Go Away!!
And A Little History Lesson:Contrary to Cherished Beleif,The Civil War Wasn't About Slavery!!
While Lincoln Was Oppposed to Slavery,He Was Opposed to Civil Rights For Blacks!!
Also,The Emancipation Proclamation Didn't Free Slaves!!
In Fact;Delaware;Kentucky;Maryland and Missouri Were Slave States of Divided Loyalty That Stayed In The Union and Allowed People to Own Slaves!!
At One Point,He Seriously Planned To Send All Blacks Either Back to Africa or Have Them Colonize Central America!!
Plus,In Parts of Modern Day Africa-Most Notably The Sudan-Slavery Still Exists,Yet The NeoCons Strangely Are Silent About It!!
(C)Expelled.Ben Stein's Pseudo Documentary about Intelligent Design.
Now I Like Ben Stein.He's a Drolly funny Guy and Very Smart
and a Fairly Good Actor.
And While I Agree That There Should Be An Intelligent Debate Concerning Intelligent Design,Expelled Focuses Too Much On The(So Called)Victimhood of Some Scientists at Major Universities Who Claimed They Were Fired Because They Dared To Discuss Intelligent Design over Darwin's Theory.
Turned Out That They Were Either Dismissed For Unrelated Reasons or Voluntary Resigned For Personal Reasons.
But as Both Conservatives and Liberals Alike Tend To Beleive
That One should Never Let Truth Come Into The Way of Victimhood!!
Graveyard | December 31, 2008 1:48 PM
The best 'so-bad-it's-good' movie is 'I Know Who Killed Me'.
I think the writer slammed it off in a last minute all-nighter after watching 'Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me'. It really does have the look and feel of a half-wit trying to pay homage to an already incomprehensible movie.
It was so completely ridiculous that I actually liked it.
Gary | November 10, 2008 2:20 PM
Obviously, Norbit was a party joke that Murphy took seriously - him being the only one after donning tons of wrinkly flab and farting 30+ mil into theatres everywhere.
Savon | February 18, 2008 7:06 PM
Thanks for a Razzie-voter view of the Razzies. I have not seen it (the trailer and Peter Travers' review were enough for me to steer clear), but Untraceable could be in the early running for next year's Razzie for Worst Picture.
Chris | February 15, 2008 3:25 PM
I'm just glad I have a choice to see good movies recommended by Travers as opposed to being forced to sit through wretched crap because it's my job. My sympathies to you Peter.
Oh, I did manage to endure approximately 17 seconds of Norbit before I questioned my membership in the family of humanity. Few films literally stink, and that's one of them.
Chris | February 15, 2008 3:24 PM
I'm just I have a choice to see good movies recommended by Travers as opposed to being forced to sit through wretched crap because it's my job. My sympathies to you Peter.
Oh, I did manage to endure approximately 17 seconds of Norbit before I questioned my membership in the family of humanity. Few films literally stink, and that's one of them.
JasonTHX | February 15, 2008 1:13 PM
Norbit's hideous, sure, but it wasn't the laziest made movie. Some work did go into it (Rick Baker's makeup) but for sheer laziness in terms of complete execution my pick is Daddy Day Camp. I mean this thing reeks of cheapness.
What did Happen to Roland Joffe? He directed De Niro, Irons, Malkovich and now Elisha Cuthbert!? Wow, not even a Morricone score would have made Captivity watchable.
But again laziness prevails and my choice goes to Fred Savage. Shame on you, Kevin Arnold. And Tom Shadyac should get mention for making the industry's first 175 million pooping animal movie.
Nic Cage, the live wire from Moonstruck and Wild At Heart is now a zombified version of his once electric self. It's a shame. And Carrey, who's Cable Guy I love and will defend until the day I die is just doing his schizo Me, Myself & Irene style of acting. Eddie is offensive but he has energy. I have to give worst actor to Cage.
Annie Hall, Why, why, why? Because I said so and now Mad Money?? You were Kay Corleone!!
Ever since you're touching role in Marvin's Room you've been sinking lower and lower. I love you, Diane and always will but you need to start learning a thing or two from perhaps, Susan Sarandon and understand older actresses can still do classy projects.
Alba was kind of winning in her breif role in The Ten so I won't give it to her, I don't think you can really call what Lindsay or The Bratz are doing "Acting" so I have to pick Elisha. Truly wretched.
Let's send Rob Schneider and Carmen Electra somewhere far, far away (and take Paris with them.)
I could only get through less then 20 minutes of Hannibal Rising. It put me to sleep, I gave up after three attempts. Sorry Gong Li.