Photo: Raedle/GettySo the other day I'm getting off a plane in Minneapolis — thanks to Al Franken and Norm Coleman, the long-awaited post-election chillout period never materialized — and I see Sarah Palin's face onscreen on a CNN broadcast in the Limbergh terminal. As side note: It's been a tremendous relief to me personally to see that Sarah Palin has consistently stayed in the public eye since her walloping defeat at the hands of Barack Obama last week. It may be that no American politician will ever again match the comic genius of George Bush, but I have high hopes for the Palin era. True, Bush was a once-in-a-century phenomenon: when he got tongue-twisted and said something stupid, it was also inevitably revealing in a very moving, very profound way. He was a like a cross between Yogi Berra and Confucius, with a dash of Vlad the Impaler thrown in. No matter how dumb future Republican Party nominee Sarah Palin turns out to be — and she's just awesomely dumb — she'll never be able to come up with stuff like "Just because you happen to be not rich, doesn't mean you're willing to kill," or "Make no mistake… I talk to families who die." The truly unique thing about Bush was that his mistakes and malapropisms spanned such an awesome comic range. He said things that were funny because they were true ("The only way we can win is to leave before the job is done."), and he said things that were funny because they sounded like something only the most stoned person in the world could make sense of ("I don't particularly like it when people put words in my mouth, either, by the way, unless I say it."). He sometimes spoke in palindromes ("My job is a decision-making job, and as a result, I make a lot of decisions.") and other times cleverly used bad grammar to undercut his own policy message ("As yesterday's positive report card shows, childrens do learn when standards are high."). He could rattle off unintentionally Groucho Marxian one-liners one after the other ("It is white," he told a British child who asked what the White House was like) or sound exactly like the crosseyed-dipshit Mel Brooks "The Guv" character in Blazing Saddles ("We both use Colgate toothpaste," he said, when asked what he had in common with Tony Blair). Some things he said made you laugh because you got a glimpse into the peculiar education of the president ("I will carry out this equivocal message to the world: markets must be open"), while other things he said had you roaring because through his words you could see exactly what a mean, shallow, self-centered fuckwit the chief executive was, for example the time he talked about Google-imaging his ranch. My favorite along those lines, actually, was one in which Bush complained about how tough his job was: "In this job you've got a lot on your plate on a regular basis," he said. "You don't have much time to sit around and wander, lonely, in the Oval Office, kind of asking different portraits, 'How do you think my standing will be?'" We can't expect Sarah Palin to offer this kind of varied, psychologically penetrating comic repertoire; it will be a long time before we again have a president who doubles as a walking, breathing, to-scale sized plastic science toy — "The Visible Sociopath." We can, however, imagine Sarah Palin coming up with something along the lines of the more second-rate Bushisms, ie exclamations like "Wow! Brazil is big!" Or, more to the point this week, we can expect her to match Bush's effort from Gothenburg, Sweden, on June 14, 2001: "We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease." The Palin clip they were showing on CNN the other day was the Alaska governor "explaining" away the revelation that she did not know that Africa was a continent. I'm going to quote it here in full because it's such an amazing piece of political literature: "I don't know, because I remember the discussion about Africa, my concern has been the atrocities there in Darfur and the relevance to me with that issue, as we spoke about Africa and some of the countries there that were kind of the people succumbing to the dictators and the corruption of some collapsed governments on the continent, the relevance was Alaska's investment in Darfur with some of our permanent fund dollars, I wanted to make sure that that didn't happen anymore." It was just pure luck that when I saw this clip, I'd just gotten through reading the Boston Globe sports section online. That led me to a breakthrough. Something about Palin had been bugging me throughout the campaign season, because I knew her manner of speaking strongly reminded me of something. But it wasn't until the other day that I figured out what that thing is: her syntax is a dead ringer for that of affable Dominican slugger David Ortiz, when he is trying to speak English without a prepared script. Check out this quote from Big Papi that very same day, when he explained his version of the story of how Manny Ramirez came to leave his Red Sox: "I had to come down and talk to him because we were going through a good situation and you don't want to put the situation in a spot, everything just goes down. We were playing good. We were a pretty good contender in the American League East, and you just don't want to change the whole thing, just knowing that you are the cleanup hitter, the best hitter in the game, and people look at you like, 'Well what's going on with this guy? 'So, it was a lot of talking, pretty much I encouraged Manny to talk to the media, make you guys job easy and it's because you guys are the ones to let people know what's going on, what's happening with us in the clubhouse and everything, and he definitely agreed with me and started pretty much talking to everybody." Deciphering both Big Papi and Sarah Palin involves basically the same skill-set. It's sort of like those color-blindness tests they use in the army, the ones where you have to squint to take your eyes off all the individual little colored dots and try instead to see the underlying word or picture underneath. In this case what you do is listen to phrases and bits of phrases and ignore the connecting words and the filler, then rearrange them as necessary to get to the underlying meaning. In Palin's case the above passage, if you take out meaningless/incoherent connecting bits like "I don‘t know, because" and "the relevance to me with that issue" and "some of the countries there that were kind of the people succumbing to the dictators," and then rearrange the remaining lines in the way that makes the most sense, what you end up with is: I remember the discussion about Africa.
As we spoke about Africa, the relevance was Alaska's investment in Darfur.
Atrocities in Darfur; I wanted to make sure that didn't happen anymore. Papi's passage is a bit easier: We were playing good. We were a good contender in the American League East.
We were going through a good situation, and you don't want to change the whole thing.
I had to come down and talk to him. The best hitter in the game, and people look at you like, "What's going on with this guy?"
So it was a lot of talking. I pretty much encouraged Manny to talk to the media, make you guys job easy. Notable here is that both Papi and Palin, skilled politicians both, blew off the question. Instead of answering the question, "Is it true that you didn't know Africa was a continent?" Palin instead shrewdly talked about how she was concerned about atrocities in Darfur. Papi here, instead of delving into the controversial details of the middle of the season when Manny went crazy, appeared to be talking about the uncontroversial beginning of the season, when Manny was being open with the press. The reason Palin is less interesting than Bush is that her gaffes and her deranged grammar don't really add anything new to your understanding of her. Basically what she does is what every politician does: instead of answering the question she responds with an irrelevant talking point, only in her case said talking point is camouflaged in dense thickets of highly confused verbiage and weird neurological detritus. You can almost see that in that particular juncture of her brain where the talking point lives -- the much-drilled line I AM CONCERNED ABOUT THE ATROCITIES IN DARFUR, for instance -- she is also storing the discarded bits of numerous other distantly-related and/or misdigested talking points and factoids. In this case you can almost smell three or four different points she might have wanted to make: Africa is a lot of dictatorships (and dictatorships are the opposite of freedom, which is America's shining star-beacon-gift to the world), corruption in Africa has led to the collapse of democratically-elected governments, and, most importantly, I can use "countries" and "continent" in a sentence about Africa in a way that addresses the question of whether or not I knew which was which with regard to that gigantic land mass. But she never got that far, so instead all of these points came out in a single disorganized mass: "My concern has been the atrocities there in Darfur and the relevance to me with that issue, as we spoke about Africa and some of the countries there that were kind of the people succumbing to the dictators and the corruption of some collapsed governments on the continent." It may yet be that somewhere in all of this gnarled syntax there lies the psychological key to a more interesting, Bush-level character. If so, I haven't found it yet. In the meantime, I think we can all amuse ourselves by trying to find a universal Palin translation system. I tried using online translation programs to translate Palin into German and then from German back into English, to see if she became clearer: "I white not, because I remind me of the discussion over Africa, my interest am cruelties there in Darfur and the meaning to me with this expenditure, how we spoke there about Africa and some the countries, the kind of the people was been, those the dictators succumb and the corruption of some collapsed governments on the continent, the meaning was investment of Alaska in Darfur with some our durable capital dollar, I wanted to examine whether any longer did not happen." That's at most a mild net loss of coherence, or maybe a wash. Note that the machine-translator retained Palin's original tense-error in her first line (she meant "my concern was" but said "my concern has been"). My favorite, though, is Palin into German and then from German into Japanese before translating back from Japanese into English. It turns out that if you use exclusively Axis-power languages with Palin-text you get some interesting stuff: "Concerning us the spoke Africa over there and several the country, kind of people how it was you thought that I with Darfur argument on Africa, me the dictator submits to me, and there is a continent, whether or not degradation of the government which collapses did not happen, meaning us Alaska of Darfur of important dollar of endurance investment, longer than me would like to inspect cruelty of interest AM and meaning in me of this expenditure, because you make remember those there which is, there is no I white." (Emphasis mine). Anyway just killing time on a Thursday. Anyone who discovers any other magic method of reading Palin, ie a secret book code for translating her — I tried a code based on page 124 of a book called The Unknown Stalin and got nowhere — please write in and I'll give credit where credit is due. I do think this Palinalysis is a discipline we'll all need to master in the not-so-distant future, so anyone with an early bead on it should announce him/herself. • • • Before I log off for the day, I wanted to thank everyone from the finance world who responded to my last post. If I'd known finding good sources was that easy, I'd have started blogging five years ago. Those of you who responded and haven't heard from me yet, I'm just back from another story in Minnesota, and you'll be hearing from me in the upcoming few days. • • • Last note: at 4:00 p.m. this Saturday, at the Brooklyn Public Library, I'll be appearing with my friend, cartoonist David Rees, who is about a million times funnier than me, especially in person. I‘m not sure if he‘s bringing his overhead projector, but either way, you should come check it out — he has an awesome new book out, a giant compilation of his famous Get Your War On comic, so if you‘re in the neighborhood you won‘t want to miss it. Details are here.
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don | February 10, 2009 12:38 AM
I just had a thought; how about the Democrats counter Palin with their own female candidate for VP next time. Monica L. Hillary can be the Pres. candidate and Bill can be campaign manager for both.:)Ought to at least be interesting.
PA Mike | January 23, 2009 4:12 PM
Hey Pocono Joe, are you related to Joe the Plumber? When you open your mouth your a$$ crack is showing!
windword | January 8, 2009 10:58 PM
I was stunned with Palin's complete lack of depth and experience but my main concern was the fact that John McCain chose her. Anyone that professes a deep love of country (remember "country first?") would never pick an incompetent to a position of power. That'w when I lost all respect for John McCain and the Republican Party.
Keep writing, Matt. We need you.
Omar | December 10, 2008 2:57 PM
Both Palin and this "Palinalysis" make my brain hurt. I stopped about 3/4 into this article. Some things I just don't want to know.
Rob | December 7, 2008 11:14 AM
Ok, Harry, why don't you try, and you can start by justifying Biden's comment about Obama.
RuthAlice | December 2, 2008 7:39 PM
No one suggests genocide for dumb people. I would suggest however that being stupid and ignorant should be a disqualification for the presidency. It's so funny that Republicans are defending the right of the stupid to be president, obviously conceding that Palin is stupid.
Pocono Joe | December 2, 2008 4:29 PM
This is the first article I've read from Rolling Store Magazine since the mid 70's. When did the publication become a diatribe of discontent?
Looks like management should hand out T-shirts to all their reporters blazoned with that famous Frank Lloyd Wright quote... "I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters."
Harry Ballz | December 1, 2008 8:08 PM
Is someone else going to dismantle Rob's arguments? They're ripe for the plundering!
Rob | November 25, 2008 1:28 PM
Bender, Bender, typical liberal change the subject bullshit. Please explain Biden's comment and why it wasn't brought up after Obama nominated him. And if you want, check "Obama without Teleprompter" on Youtube(the ones the Obama campaign didn't have deleted - those free speech fighters) and you WILL see someone trying to talk but nothing comes out but bullshit. As for Palin and McCain, I wasn't happy with that choice either but if I was the first black candidate(funny how he calls himself black in certain crowds and biracial in others), the last thing I would want is a racist as my Vice President. Oh, and Mr. campaign promise isn't going to repeal the Bush Tax cuts - what an honest president-elect you have.
reader.reader | November 25, 2008 12:02 AM
andrew: It's true that a prankster made up a fake McCain political staffer, and... as that staffer, claimed credit for leaking the story to Fox.
Then the hoaxer was exposed.
It's still not known who really leaked the story to Fox. Whoever wrote the original Fox story is not talking.
When asked, Palin originally said something about her words were being taken out of context. She didn't say "I never said Africa was a country."
It's hard to know what was said at the time, or what was the original context.
I guess we'll never really know for sure.
Bender | November 24, 2008 10:40 PM
Rob, quit acting as though Palin's daugher even has a choice in EITHER matter of pregnancy and marriage. That's a joke. Palin's a joke. She's gone. Get over it.
And, if you think obama won because of the media, you may be right? It was the media who were courteous enough to show us McCain and Palin TRYING to talk. It was enough to make one puke.
Rob | November 24, 2008 12:20 PM
Hey Joey it probably wouldn't happen in Obama's kids case since he views children as "mistakes" anyway. Plus, the kid who got Palin's daughter pregnant plans to marry her anyway. Since dems seem to advocate abortion as a means of birth control(like the Russians and Chinese do) they're probably more pissed that she's going to have the child more than anything else.
Joe | November 24, 2008 11:36 AM
Hey, Rob, imagine if Obama or Biden's daughter was impregnated out of wedlock. I'm sure there would be a shitstorm from the moral right raining down upon him.
We can play this game all night, but it's dumb. Get over it.
Braystud | November 24, 2008 10:29 AM
Palin makes Bush seem like a genius!!!!!(And the First Dude of A-
laska would be about the 400th Dude
here in Windsor,Ont.,Can.,after me and 398 other lads!!!!!
Ripley | November 24, 2008 5:31 AM
Funny article, with serious implications, which is why I read Taibbi. But wow, a fair number of the comments verge on the subhuman. New-ish blog; hope that shakes out over time, as the throwbacks follow through on threats to, er, "cancel "subscriptions" to this free, public forum. Oh, and turn off the ALL CAPS on your way out. Thanks.
Rob | November 23, 2008 3:44 PM
Oh, can somebody tell me the the number of times the press(or anybody for that matter) brought up the fact that Biden(Mr. 35 year Washington outsider) called Obama "the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy ... that's a storybook, man"? Imagine if a Republican said that. Oh, an
Rob | November 23, 2008 3:33 PM
Brian,
The point is is that anything about Obama(herein referred to as Jesus) that had a negative aspect was buried by the press. The fact that a guy who ran for President for 2 freakin' years(yet had no problem collecting his Senate salary(I think Obama and McCain and Clinton should have resigned the MINUTE they decided to run). I realize that Jesus probably made a mistake in saying that there are 57 states(not so for Biden - the guy is an idiot who constantly puts his foot in his mouth). But please don't tell me that the media wasn't in love with Obama and gave him a pass on all of his gaffes. Oh, and if I was Palin I'd answer the last question with "George W. Bush has given more money to Africa than any President in history". But I'm not her campaign advisor.
-ed | November 21, 2008 9:25 PM
hmd1987 | November 14, 2008 2:59 PM
elitism at it's finest.
hey, let's all put dumb people in camps and kill them!
I prefer to keep them in the south. With the fire sale on guns 'n ammo, they might just do the job for us.
Either that or they'll all lock themselves away awaiting the rapture.
Hmm, maybe dear Sarah thought the rapture was G-dubs "No Child Left Behind" doctrine. I kinda liked that particular Blondie song though.
Friction | November 21, 2008 8:55 PM
Question: What kind of a shit-for-brains calls Morse Code, "Morris Code," when trying to insult Palin? Answer: Brain-dead Obama supporter DRP103.
eggman | November 21, 2008 4:13 PM
Oh, is that how 'elitist' is spelled? I suppose it has something to do with 'elite,' as in superior, so an elitist is someone who prefers superior things over inferior things. Huh.
All this time I thought it meant Obama had a thing for Sam Alito.
DRP103 | November 21, 2008 12:16 PM
It hard to speak coherently when your trying to blink your message in Morris Code. Try it some time. How do I know this Palin does this? Because she ends all her sentences with a WINK!
DRP103 | November 21, 2008 12:03 PM
Somebody should put Ringo Star's drumming through a Morris Code analyzer---Then maybe we will finally know whether or not Paul is really DEAD!
ALinSTL | November 20, 2008 8:15 PM
OBAMA'S REFERENCE TO 57 STATES WAS PROBABLY A MIS-REFERENCE TO THE 57 PRIMARIES HE WAS ENGAGED IN...HELL, HOW MANY MINUTES OF SLEEP DID HE GET IN A DAY WITH HIS PINBALLING ALL OVER THE CONTINENTAL U.S.A. & 97% OF HIS WAKING DAY WAS ASKING OR ANSWERING QUESTIONS TO WIN THE SHITTIEST JOB IN THE WORLD FOR THE NEXT FOUR YEARS...IF YOU'RE SO QUICK TO BERATE HIM FOR A MIS-SPEAK, GO IN THE JOHN & LOOK IN THE MIRROR AT SOMEBODY WHO COULD NEVER EVER EVER HANDLE THE JOB THAT FACES OBAMA...EVER!
Bender | November 20, 2008 6:36 PM
Listening to Sarah Palin try to put together a coherent sentence is akin to having somebody scrape their fingernails on a blackboard.
Cheers to those of you who can shoot a moose with an automatic weapon from a helicopter!
Cheers to those of you who can see Russia from their house!
Cheers to those of you who can't name one single publication that you read!
Cheers to those of you who don't know what the Bush Doctrine is!
Here Here to Alaska being completely embarrassed by the lack of intelligence this woman has shown and RECALL HER!
She's a joke. Now, she's a joke on a national level. What is it about the republican party that allows them to ENJOY their leaders being unintelligent?
Anonymous | November 20, 2008 4:50 AM
Try running Palin quotes through a bible code analyzer and you'll discover she's the well-dressed concubine-in-waiting to a future republican antichrist who can bring a moose to its knees with her fellatio technique.
Brian | November 19, 2008 1:41 PM
Rob,
Do you really believe that Barack Obama actually thinks there are 57 states? Because no one could reasonably believe that he thinks that. There is a difference between an obvious example of misspeaking like Obama's-- either he meant to say 47 states, or 57 states and territories, or something similar-- and the utterly incoherent verbal stylings of Sarah Palin.
Regarding Biden, what he actually said was "When the stock market crashed, FDR got on the television [sic]" and reassured people. The mistake you make is thinking that the phrase "When the stock market crashed" must refer literally to 1929. It's not so precise a phrase, and it can just as easily be read to mean "in the period after the stock crashed" or "in the aftermath of the stock market crash." Anyway, it's beside the point. Biden's point was that Roosevelt used his bully pulpit to reassure people in a time of crisis, and Bush was not able to exercise the same kind of leadership. Nitpicking the literal truth of Biden's observation entirely misses the point. If there were some kind of insight packed into Palin's logorrheic discourses, then you might have an argument for unfairness. I don't see it. Suppose Palin were asked this follow-up question: "Governor, what do you consider to be the cause of the atrocities in Darfur and what do you think the United States should do about it?" What do you think her response would have been? Do you think she would have a coherent answer to that question?
Rob | November 18, 2008 3:43 PM
Joe Biden - the genius who spells jobs with three letters and who believes FDR was President in 1929. And you talk shit about Palin? Obama also said there's 57 States - how fucking stupid is that?
diogeron | November 18, 2008 3:26 PM
My favorite comment so far on Matt's excellent post is the response,"elitism at its finest." Is that is how low we have sunk in this nation? If someone points out that the candidate for the vice president can't string together a coherent sentence or thought on a consistent basis, that strikes some as "elitist?" I guess the standard should be, "Let's all strive to to be as dumb as 'Joe, the plumber' and as inarticulate as Sarah Palin." Yes, it took Palin six years and five schools to get a degree in telecommunications but thinks she knows more about climate change than the National Academy of Scientists. Of course, we all know the NAS are "elitists", so who would want to listen to them rather than Palin? After all, she can field dress a moose!
ron | November 18, 2008 11:01 AM
Palin is dangerous because she doesn't know what she doesn't know and she doesn't care that she doesn't know what she doesn't know.
Now, translate THAT into German, Tiabbi! Ha.
Heder | November 18, 2008 12:06 AM
The thing I love about Palin today is that with a new administration we are losing the hilarity that was Bush. But, when you laughed at Bush, you also had to cry a bit on the inside. With Sarah you don't have to do that because you know enough other people are laughing with you that what she says doesn't matter as much.
ray | November 17, 2008 10:59 PM
No way Palin will ever be president, she doesnt have it and cant get it.
Clarity | November 17, 2008 12:01 PM
Attack her all you want - if she is in a position of power and influence that affects you, or running for one - just don't fall back on the "stupid" charge. It's intellectually lazy in itself. She is guilty of worse crimes.
Like a lot of people in the pulic eye, Obama often appears to be a far bigger person than his supporters.
Joe | November 17, 2008 11:45 AM
I really dig on all the "elitist" charges. Like it's a bad thing to expect the people who run our country to not be morons.
If that makes somebody an "elitist" then count me in. I'm taking it back.
There's nothing wrong with being dumb. I have dumb friends and colleagues, and perhaps even I myself am dumb. However, dumb people should not be put into positions of extreme importance.
jill | November 17, 2008 11:34 AM
I have to agree with AI R and others. The republicans are calling foul now like the bullies they are. Never mind all the hateful things they have said about Democrats over the years...especially Obama and Clinton. Never mind the amount of death threats towards Obama and racists attacks after the election. No, the party of family values still thinks they have been "done wrong" and that we are picking on Palin. When they don't win, they accuse the majority of drinking KoolAid. Toughen up, repubs. We have had to do that for years now. I support Obama and if he does not do what is fair for all, I will not continue to support or make excuses like the GOP does for it's candidates. That is a true patriot.
Clarity | November 16, 2008 11:07 PM
Sarah Palin wasn't defeated by Obama. The McCain / Palin ticket was defeated by Obama and Biden, together. Just a technicality.
I didn't vote for McCain / Palin, but this is just overkill, at this point. Palin has been attacked, shredded, mercilessly, because, quite simply, it's easy. Being that dumb, she's an easy target. The trouble is, I think, the more you go after easy targets, the likelier the possibility that it could backfire. At the very least, it makes you look lazy.
And another thing: All the "stupid" charges coming from the left smack of snide, sneering, elitist, intellectual condescension, quite a departure from the message of compassion progressives in this country should be cultivating. And it is that very intellectual condescension that will be the death of the liberal movement in this country, I am afraid. It does not exactly encourage people. It is not inclusive. Yes, there are a lot of "stupid Americans," but - most of the time - it is not their fault. Most people aren't "stupid," anyway. Intelligence is characteristic of the human condition. What they are is ill-informed and lacking in critical thinking skills. So blame their system of education, blame their government, blame their media, blame their religion ... The more you blame them, the more you differentiate. We want people attracted to the cause, not alienated.
Was it Howard Zinn who said, of the neo-cons: "It's time to stop talking about how stupid these people are, and start talking about how VICIOUS they are."?
It's not Palin's "dumbness" about Africa or the Constitution, or whatever, that makes her unfit for office. It's the sheer, jaw-dropping mean-spiritedness of her and her kind. Do dumbness and mean-spiritedness go hand in hand these days? There seems to be a lot of that where I live. You have written about the cruelty, mean-spiritedness and viciousness of provincial Americans (and Russians) before. So more on that, please. And back off the "People are just stupid!" act. They all say the same thing about us. Obviously, it's not helping.
JP | November 16, 2008 5:32 PM
People who insists on defending Sarah Palin as a qualified candidate who made a few innocent verbal mistakes. There is a difference between a gaffe and a honest mistake. A mistake is something made in the heat of the moment. A gaffe is an intentional effort to decieve that backfires on you. Misstating which article of the constitution that describes the power of the VP is a mistake. When asked point-blank were you confused by the fact that Africa was not a country, you give a convoluted answer that does not answer the question. When that makes you look like an idiot for giving that answer. That is a gaffe. Sarah Palin and John McCain made numerous gaffes like that throughout the campaign.
If you are tired of people still bashing Sarah Palin, then blame Sarah Palin for being on TV this past week giving numerous interviews. Once, she finally goes away. Hopefully, we can focus on real issues that affects everybody. At least, until a new distraction comes along.
Jeff Sawyer | November 15, 2008 8:42 PM
They say Palin writes her speeches on an Etch-A-Sketch. This explains why she just draws stairs.
Gwen | November 15, 2008 6:52 PM
Re: MissBusty's comment:
Matt is WAY hotter in person.
Gwen | November 15, 2008 6:51 PM
Great talk today at the Brooklyn Public Library. Was very funny and thoughtful. THANKS for the autograph!
David Reese is hilarious, I'm a new fan.
MissBusty | November 15, 2008 4:38 PM
TOP TEN MOST BEAUTIFUL INTELLIGENT PEOPLE OF THE CURRENT POLITICAL MEDIA:
MATT TAIBBI - he is definitely all that
keith olberman - love the suit
bill maher - LOL
chris mathews - tingle tingle
jon stewart -
soledad o'brien - muy caliente
alex witt - she's so BLONDe
rachel maddow - WOW
did i leave anyone out?
Anthony from B'ham | November 15, 2008 3:14 PM
Matt. As you well know, you are, in haphazard sort of a way, using the William Burroughs Cut-up Method to decipher Palin's language. While your online translation use with different languages works pretty well and gives us "leaks into her boggled dictator diction and what to expect from her mind in the future", I think you'll have a hell of a lot more fun getting out a bottle of Yukon Jack, a bone white 8 by 10 piece of paper, some sharp scissors, and cut and past ala Tri-Fold to your big heart's content. Once that whiskey bottle gets about 5 fingers deep...the linguistic parallels in the Palin 10,000 year old universe instantly align!
brooke | November 15, 2008 12:48 PM
matt,
i love your articles and i think your a great writer.
nice blog too!
Cosmic | November 15, 2008 10:05 AM
Here in my county we just reelected two guys who speak Palin and also take shovels full of PAC money. If you go hear them speak and ask people who support them what they just said or if you point out that they just bald faced lied the answer is "But he is a nice guy and is against abortion."
steve | November 15, 2008 8:08 AM
I can't believe so many people voted for that illiterate bimbo to be second in command to a man that could die any minute. Apparently there are at least 58 million drooling morons in America.
We should just allow Alaska to secede from the union because that whole state is retarded. i mean, they voted for that octogenarian that's on his way to prison... and Palin! Holy Shit!
dancingbear | November 15, 2008 5:09 AM
Matt,
Thanks for your cogent account. It needed to be said. I put some Palin into Esperanto and some of it just didn't translate back.
The Republicans should be afraid, very afraid, is Palin is the 'future' of their party.
Mac | November 15, 2008 1:52 AM
Matt says that Bush is a "cross between Yogi Berra and Confucious..." As if Bush is both wise and gentle/kind. This is clearly false.
Come on, Matt, you can do better.
Sil T | November 15, 2008 12:23 AM
Think how close America came to have a moron of a religious zealot in the Presidency with her finger on the nukes. Sanity won by 6%. America is in sick shape.
spanish_bomb | November 14, 2008 10:20 PM
Sixty paragraphs on how much you hate Sarah Palin. I think we read the same thing yesterday. Give us some new material, like on how you think Barack Obama will fix America. Please?
harpo | November 14, 2008 6:05 PM
Jason my brother...you guys are all starting to sound like the same broken record...the only thing I can say is at least Sarah Palin wasn't kept locked in a bar for the last three weeks of the election.
Bumbling Biden got so bad, President Elect had to get him out of his own way...pretty much what RS needs to do with Taibbi. Birds of a Bumbling Feather .....you know the punchline!!!!
harpo | November 14, 2008 5:29 PM
Thomas my boy...sounds like you are speaking from experience....what did you use to clean up your leak...or is it terminal??
Thanks for reaching across the aisle with your observation.
President Elect is proud of ya'
jason (not the jason from 4:47 p.m.) | November 14, 2008 5:27 PM
Palin’s verbal eccentricities certainly made me worry, and they made journalistic digging all the more crucial. Yet like her much-criticized lack of experience, this strikes me ultimately as an epiphenomenal issue. The two main problems with her ascendancy to the national political stage, in my view, are (1) her lack of policy knowledge and (2) her temperament, as exhibited in numerous pieces of behavior in her Alaskan career and her vice-presidential candidacy. Noam Scheiber’s article in The New Republic (URL below) captured a lot of what makes her seem unsuited to the presidency. I don’t fault her for her ambition or folksy persona. I worry about her seeming need for control and rigid worldview, and the arrogantly held ignorance (and a dash of vindictiveness to boot) that seeem to result. Sound familiar? Many others have observed that Palin resembles President Bush too much for comfort.
www.tnr.com/politics/story.html?id=8c130fe3-adab-4cb3-8443-c363f085cf13
DeadHorse | November 14, 2008 5:23 PM
Once again, more stupid commentary from Matt Taibbi. Please, cancel my subscription if you are going to keep printing this asshole.
Thomas Taylor | November 14, 2008 5:13 PM
Ms. Palin is a sincere, true-believer which makes her impromptu pronouncements so stunning. She is the embodiment of Jim Morrison's immortal lyric: "...There's a killer on the road. His brain is squirming like a toad.... Perhaps it is simple physics: Her brain begins to unfreeze at room temperature and things begin to leak out in a random fashion. Ms. Palin recently said that the 2012 Republican ticket should feature a woman. I agree, just not That One.
harpo | November 14, 2008 5:11 PM
Hey Mattie...
Where is LIMBERGH TERMINAL...I think you have BIDENITIS!!! You're too busy being a comedic failure to even know where you are!!!!
Sarah Palin's a dumbass??!! Yeah...and you're a Rhodes Scholar.
harpo | November 14, 2008 5:06 PM
When is RS going to wise up and hire people that are literate. Taibbi is so busy failing at being funny...he doesn't even know where he has been???? LIMBERGH TERMINAL...he has BIDENITIS!!!
Hey Mattie...you're friend David Rees is a thousand times funnier than you....is he any brighter?? Sarah Palin is a Dumb Ass????!!!! Yeah, and you're a Rhodes Scholar.
And to all the "frustrated females" writing in....do yourself a favor and find some male companionship...if it is within your capabilities...it sure seems to be within Sarah's!! Seems like the "green headed" envy monster is clouding your thinking!!!! Hubba! Hubba! :):)
Missy Busty | November 14, 2008 4:08 PM
Matt Taibbi is not all that - he reminds me of a below average Garrison Keillor - or maybe Chris Mathews more annoying little brother with the tingle running up his leg and then down the other side. I've been listening to 8 long years of BUSH BASHING & only a few months of PALIN BASHING. (& before that it was Reagen and before that it was Nixon. Bush is stupid & Cheney is evil. "He was selected not elected" Of course the worst thing Bush did was stick a hole in the levee in an attempt to wipe out black folk. Never mind that the mayor & governor were democrats. Tibbi should continue with his amusing reflections about Sarah Palin & then move on to Joe the Plumber.
JEff - Maine | November 14, 2008 4:07 PM
You're correct; she's not an intelligent person and has extremely poor grammar. However, she is one of the few politicians I'd pay to see naked. I wouldn't pay much, just a few dollars but I'd be interested to see what's under those snappy suits.
Cheers! Jeff
limbergh terminal...STAND UP CHUCK | November 14, 2008 3:54 PM
heh....Palin sure is stupid. She plans on visiting all 57 states with UhUhUhbama and she may visit the limbergh terminal on the way.
Joe Biden has made a lots of errors as well. These weren't insignificant errors, such as when Biden said, "Look, all you have to do is go down Union Street with me in Wilmington or go to Katie's restaurant or walk into Home Depot with me where I spend a lot of time, and you ask anybody in there whether or not the economic and foreign policy of this administration has made them better off in the last eight years."
It turns out that Katie's restaurant, where Biden gets his feel for the average American, closed 20 years ago. The only evidence that he spends any time in Home Depot is that it appears that a pipe wrench fell on his head one too many times.
Biden also gave a long speech at the debate on vice president Dick Cheney's "dangerous" belief that "he's part of the legislative branch." The great constitutional scholar Biden cited Article I of the Constitution as proof that Cheney "works in the executive branch" and has "no authority relative to the Congress." Biden huffily added: "He should understand that. Everyone should understand that."
Palin would have had to deny that Alaska is a state in the union in order to say something comparably stupid.
Article II, not I, describes the executive branch. Someone tell Biden, who is supposed to be a lawyer. Apart from getting the Articles of the Constitution mixed up, what on earth does Biden mean when he says that the vice president "has no authority relative to Congress," apart from breaking ties?
The Constitution makes him president of the senate every day of the week. I realize that Biden may not be able to count to two, but Article I says the vice president is president of one of the two houses of Congress -- the one Biden is in, for crying out loud -- which is what you might call "authority relative to Congress."
Somebody please tell me that Biden wasn't picked for the Democrat ticket based on his knowledge of the Constitution.
Obama must be excited because now he can start hanging out in public with Bill Ayers and Rev. Jeremiah Wright again.
Palin's Panties | November 14, 2008 3:40 PM
Introducing the Palin Rhinestone thong. Complete with animal print of your favorite African animals. Palin-Nuget in 2012.
muncey | November 14, 2008 3:22 PM
matt taibbi genius?? ha ha ha ha ha he and bill mahar are both a couple of idiots!! bill mahar is a poor excuse for a man and so are you matt T why don't you crawl back into your hole and drag in bill with ya tired of your same old song and dance
Janet | November 14, 2008 3:07 PM
Was the thing Palin wanted to make sure didn't happen anymore the genocide in Darfur, or was it the investment of Alaska's Permanent Fund dollars into companies that do business in Darfur? A Sarah Palin paragraph is an inkblot test, in which the message the listener takes away is a function of their own preconceptions.
joeyinempirestate | November 14, 2008 3:05 PM
...james brown's uglier sister, michelle obamination, will make you all pine for palin, just watch
hmd1987 | November 14, 2008 2:59 PM
elitism at it's finest.
hey, let's all put dumb people in camps and kill them!
Harpo | November 14, 2008 2:22 PM
Michele...Bobbie....you just simply refuse to abide with President Elect Obama's wishes for bi-partisanship...so unfortunately Uncle Markos will be paying you a visit shortly to relieve you of your Daily Kos decoder rings.
Do not fear though.....the newest batch of Kool Aid has arrived at Springsteen's house...get your directions at moveon.org.
Hopefully it will help you gain the vision of the President Elect's plan to reach across the aisle!!!!
Peace and Love
ALEX | November 14, 2008 2:11 PM
Lindbergh Terminal not Limbergh. Named after the guy who flew across the Atlantic and had his baby stolen and liked Nazis. Not the strongest way to start at an aricle slamming someone's intelligence.
Palin | November 14, 2008 1:48 PM
is a retard.....plain and simple.
Bobbie | November 14, 2008 1:38 PM
Very clever take on the Palin-speak. I was to the point that laughing at her was no longer entertaining, but you proved to me that some wells just don't dry up. Love your writing style.
Michele | November 14, 2008 1:33 PM
I think you miss some salient points about Palin, specifically that it is possible, like with Bush, to see a deeper personality disorder from her comments, incoherent speaking and writing comes from incoherent thought processes, and she is not a benign individual.
There is plenty of evidence from her actions, comments and behavior to suggest she has narcissistic personality disorder traits. She lies with abandon because she is not able to reconcile the truth with her idealized view of herself. In multiple interviews, she has denied being a "dictator," even though no one accused her of it. She has said she is "not one to egotistically" appoint herself to a vacant Senate seat, even though that is not a legal option for her in Alaska anyway. And she has consistently misappropriated powers to the VP role--a habit that was derided as showing her ignorance by the media, but because it was never corrected by her or the McCain campaign, was more likely her attempt to broadcast her intentions. Members of the Wasilla City Council stated that she treated her election to mayor as a "coronation." Her well-documented willingness to step on others to get ahead and to abuse powers once she has them all point to a pathological personality. I think you could find plenty of intriguing pathology with this woman, possibly even more than with Bush, given the opportunity.
ANDREW--
The story about Africa was not a hoax (although I'm guessing it was taken out of context). Eisenstadt's claim to be the McCain insider was the hoax. He was not. Someone else--who still is not brave enough to come forward--leaked the story, but the story itself stands. Check the MSNBC retraction for more details.
Jake | November 14, 2008 1:25 PM
Andrew, it was a hoax, that is why Palin's response was so funny and pathetic at the same time.
IUseThisMagazinetoCleanmyJizz | November 14, 2008 1:19 PM
This article is about as credible as a neo-Nazi editorial on Martin Luther King.
Al R | November 14, 2008 1:12 PM
I REALLY find it amusing that all the right wing neo conservatives nuts are all yelling to stop picking on the GOP and we need to "come together" to get out of this mess...that was CREATED by the tards they're defending in the first place. I'm admittedly left wing on most issues, but if Obama messes up, I WILL call him out on it...That being said, you will NEVER get the right wing to admit anything is wrong with their side of the aisle...heck, they still blame stuff on Clinton and he hasn't been in office in 8 friggin years!!!
Mr Zoo | November 14, 2008 12:40 PM
what me worry?? what you worry?? what WE worry?? YES! OF COURSE!
you know, we have fear no longer that the divine GOP maverick super hockey motherrrrr will invade our great nation under executive chief, i mean she lost! HAIL TO THE VICTORS! and c'mon now, the american people would never even consider puttin her back up for election in 2012, right?? oh wait...
TankCat | November 14, 2008 12:29 PM
RS, enough already. You won. Obama was elected, and your attempts to brainwash your readers into voting for him were successful. The election is over, and so should be your ridiculous character assassinations. Your treatment of John McCain (a decorated war hero) will go down as the most disgusting things I have ever seen. This country is in bad shape, and it's because of the extreme partisan poltics that your magazine promotes. We need unity and leadership, not more pathetic blathering from the FAR left & right. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem.
sublime1982 | November 14, 2008 12:28 PM
This article actually angers me. Because I don’t think Palin is any position to be VP, GOV, or even a greeter at a restaurant. This article makes me feel for her. What people forget is that she was chosen. By McCain who apparently did no research on her whatsoever. It’s not her fault she isn’t qualified. The people of Alaska voted her in as Gov. McNasty gave her an opportunity and she took. So would you. Scrutinizing her every sentence is making me feel for her. And I’m pissed that you could make me feel for such a nim rod. I would love to sit by this guy with a note pad and pen and correct every damn word that comes out of his blow hole. And then look at it later for hours and analyze every word of it. This guy is a real gem. You’re the reason why people are so arrogant. No one even bothers to look at Palin's history as a Gov because every one knows how stupid she is. Do you realize by writing an article like this your creating a divisive situation that not only pulls people apart it draws them together. It’s like a rallying cry for Palin. “The elitist's are picking on her again”. I got an idea. How about next time you want to dump on her you actually do some research and find out why she isn’t qualified. I could find a child to write a paper about how dumb someone is.
Journalist??? | November 14, 2008 12:27 PM
Dude, give it up.
Obama won, let's celebrate, let go of the negatives you twit.
Joe -not the idiot plumber- Schmoe | November 14, 2008 12:25 PM
This is funny and all... but what did we get for the additional 5.5 TRILLION dollar debt over the last 8 years? The Republicans call themselves "conservatives". What's conservative about running up a huge debt? W may run the debt to 12 Trillion by the time he's done. Bad grammar is the least of our problems. How about a dictionary? How about addition and subtraction? Yes, we're going to pay...
donald | November 14, 2008 12:21 PM
Leave her alone, you snob. Who cares what evil lib-tards like you think? The Africa thing was a Dumbocrat hoax just like Dan Rather pulled in 2004. Liberals are the meanest people on earth. If you are so smart and correct on every matter, why are you filled with hate? You should spend all day masturbating in front of a mirror.
Mark Lupinetti | November 14, 2008 12:19 PM
Matt, you're right that Palin's peculiar verbal expressions are distinct from those of Bush, and they are distinct in an extremely systematic way.
Many schizophrenics suffer from a disruption in their communication because they produce what is called in the psychiatric literature schizophasia, commonly referred to as "word salad." This refers to expression that includes both coherent and incoherent words and phrases. The word salad maker can sound as if he or she is making sense, because the listener tries to find a pattern in the jumble. It's like looking at a cloud and seeing the duckie and the horsie.
For people with schizophrasia, the brain's language centers are intact, but there is a limitation in methodical reasoning and interpretation. Typically, the schizophrasic individual is frustrated by this.
Treatment can include cognitive behavioral therapy (BOR-INGG) or drugs (YES!).
V | November 14, 2008 12:11 PM
We're in a sad state if this represents the quality of our leaders. She's 'gotta have some intelligence to be a governor but unfortunately we're often judged by our language and how we speak - especially in public office. Bush has certainly set the standard for futility but Palin isn't too far behind.
ScrewObama | November 14, 2008 11:59 AM
Yeah, goodbye to Sarah Palin. I just cant wait for all the anti-American antics of the first whore, obamas wife.
carl | November 14, 2008 11:40 AM
wow matt,
you've probably never said anything stupid in your life. then again, you've never had anybody analyze and criticize every word and sentence that ever proceeded from your mouth, either.
scout | November 14, 2008 11:32 AM
Although I am ready for Sarah's 15 minutes to be over already, she is the one who won't just go back to Alaska and do her governoring and leave us all in peace. So as long as she insists on parading her assininity all over the lower 48, she is fair game. We simply cannot afford George W. in lipstick in 4 or 8 years or ever, so let her keep talking and let the Taibbis keep writing. As long as she never gets her grasping claws on the controls of power I am happy to let her be a sideshow freak for the amusement of reality based folk.
pitbull lipstick | November 14, 2008 11:19 AM
Jeez, isn't Palin's 15 mins up, already--time for her to fade in to obscurity (again)
Anonymous | November 14, 2008 10:54 AM
It's easy to find the stupidity in anyone if you look hard enough. I know your staff is composed of a bunch of stoners, vandals, and overall failures to society, but that doesn't mean you have to live up to those titles. There are plenty of interesting stories to cover, all the time, in the entertainment world. So there's no need branching off into LEFTLEFTLEFT beliefs.
If I wanted to read Time magazine, I would.
Stop being such assholes.
Motorbreath | November 14, 2008 9:38 AM
And to think this woman might be the "new face" of the Republican party in four years? Sad and awesome at the same time! If so, that's good news for another Democratic landslide in 2012.
Chris | November 14, 2008 9:06 AM
Matt,
I'm a big fan of yours ever since the very first time I saw you on Real Time with Bill Maher. Getting to the topic onhand, I think you hit the nail on the head here. This woman is completely incapable of completing a solid sentence. Every time I hear this woman speak it's almost physically painful to my brain. I sit there listening to this woman talk and hardly ever does it make any sense at all. It's like she doesn't know the meaning of half of the words she says, but she throws them in there because they "sound" alright. But like you said, when you try to dicipher what the hell this woman is even saying you end up more confused than enlightened. Can we please get this woman away from the media? She hurts my brain and makes me feel more and more stupid the more I listen to her. I'm not sure how much more my brain can take before it is overcome by the wave of idiocy that flows out of her mouth. Conversely, I love hearing your rants about how idiotic she is and look forward to hearing more from your blogs and articles and seeing your appearance's on Bill's show. Keep up the good work Matt!
Alan W | November 14, 2008 8:23 AM
I have found that eliminating the extraneous words from Palin's never-ending run-on sentences achieves the best result. Take this quote of Palin's to CNN's Wolf Blitzer:
"Sitting here in these chairs that I’m going to be proposing but in working with these governors who again on the front lines are forced to and it’s our privileged obligation to find solutions to the challenges facing our own states every day being held accountable, not being just one of many just casting votes or voting present every once in a while, we don’t get away with that. We have to balance budgets and we’re dealing with multibillion dollar budgets and tens of thousands of employees in our organizations."
With extensive use of the ellipsis, I came up with:
"I'm...not...voting...with that."
It's the best I could do.
Chris | November 14, 2008 8:10 AM
Matt, your political slant and phraseology never cease to amuse and provide a good chuckle. My all time favorite is when you called Rove a mean, rotten c---s-----, but when you said that Palin is just "awesomely dumb," well, that was priceless! Your gig has got to be fun, given all the inept politicians and right-wing media hacks at your disposal. Keep ripping them a new one every change you get!
gobo | November 14, 2008 7:19 AM
Jordan, still repeating that as if it's a gaffe? In context, Obama was joking around about all the US territories they'd visited as well as all 50 states.
ontime | November 14, 2008 7:08 AM
Palin was a hoax.
alan | November 14, 2008 4:02 AM
Brilliant. Please don't stop. Laughter is the best weapon.
Jordan | November 14, 2008 2:24 AM
Lest we not forget this little gem:
"Over the last 15 months, we’ve traveled to every corner of the United States. I’ve now been in 57 states? I think one left to go." -Barack Obama, summer '08.
Jordan | November 14, 2008 2:14 AM
Charles Krauthammer said it best: "The choice of Sarah Palin was also a mistake. I'm talking here about its political effects, not the sideshow psychodrama of feminist rage and elite loathing that had little to do with politics and everything to do with cultural prejudices, resentments and affectations.
Palin was a mistake (' near suicidal,' I wrote on the day of her selection) because she completely undercut McCain's principal case against Obama: his inexperience and unreadiness to lead. And her nomination not only intellectually undermined the readiness argument. It also changed the election dynamic by shifting attention, for days on end, to Palin's preparedness, fitness and experience -- and away from Obama's.
Primeval Wench | November 14, 2008 12:58 AM
Thank you for the laugh. Running Palin's words through a translator ? Priceless !!
*sdr* | November 14, 2008 12:07 AM
well, as an unemployed ob/gyn, i just hope that under an articulate-intellectual obama administration i will once again be free to...uh...practice my love of women all across the country.
africa's a continent???
footesteppes | November 13, 2008 11:50 PM
Another thing Ortiz and Palin have in common - they are both greatly assisted by the teleprompter.
Remember that DirectTV commercial Big Papi did? I was REALLY CONVINCED he used the cooking channel to help him make his mango salsa.
Remember Palin's speech at the RNC when she said community organizers had no responsibility. I was REALLY CONVINCED she was sarcastic, empty-headed lunatic.
Sal Riley | November 13, 2008 11:35 PM
Hey Matt, let's grab a drink in Uptown. We're doing happy hour at Moto I on Lyndale and Lake tomorrow (friday) at five or so. sake.
-Sal
old fat white dude | November 13, 2008 9:49 PM
Excellent dissection Mr. Taibbi. Now can we let Sarah Palin become an historical footnote and get on with it?
Anonymous | November 13, 2008 9:34 PM
Bush/Palin- get a room! A classroom. Thank God we'll be speaking Obamics for several years.
SlyStone | November 13, 2008 9:21 PM
Sarah Palin is HOT
Paul Colon | November 13, 2008 9:18 PM
Rolling Stone you suck - I wasn't impressed with any of the candidates but I'm sick of your biased 7th grade view of politics. Obama will go down as the 2nd worst President in history (behind Carter). Palin has all the qualifications of Obama (none). Watching the 4 candidates debate each other was nothing short of painful. They do not understand how our tax system works, why we are in our current financial crisis (Bond Agencies and the Big 4 accounting firms are to blame) or anything that involves real world experience and some intelligence.
anton | November 13, 2008 8:59 PM
i TOTALLY agree with diane42997... ortiz will injure something, or get caught shooting up illegal steroids, and be sold to the toledo mudhens for $21,000 a year. but palin might persist! gramma palin might bribe some boy in walla walla alaska to confess to fathering her grandson and marry "Spot" or "Rake" or "Bristol" or "Inkjet" her teenage preggy daughter. i always thought that good christians like TODD fetched their shotgun when their teen daughters came home with a positive CLEARBLUE EASY stick. but i might be wrong. anyway, grandmother-to-be palin is exactly the person who sat in jack kennedy's oval room leather highback chair on that rockin' webiste www.palinaspresident.com.
before november 4, that is. now ms walla-walla congeniality is gone from that site.
gone is the statesman slash leader-of-the-free-world slash commander-in-chief gushing "OH THERE ARE THE NUKE-U-LAR CODES!" and "MAVRICK" when she talks about former hanoi-hilton resident senator john mc ain. GONE! i am so bummed! sarah will survive as a LIFE IMITATES ART version of tina fey for a few months. but as she crawls back to her igloo, the US will concentrate on fixing the giant sucking sound in the US treasury which was dubya's last laugh--a payback to CHASE BANK and CITIBANK for supporting his atrocities in abu ghraib and guantanomo.
diane42997 | November 13, 2008 8:41 PM
After reading the above, I think David Ortiz speaks much better English than Palin does.
She's definitely scarier though because he can't run for President in 2012 or 2016.
Bob the builder | November 13, 2008 8:34 PM
Yea yea okay sure its all very funny,but hey you people vote for these loonys and they end up murdering hundreds of thousands of woman and children and that really isnt very funny.Maybe its tlme for the rest of the world to vote for your presidents,you seem incapable of ever getting it right
Lynn | November 13, 2008 8:17 PM
Well, at least someone understands her!
Charlie Miller | November 13, 2008 8:11 PM
Look, I think Palin is the worst thing to happen to American politics since Bush as well, but honestly, this is just childish.
I don't see the relevance in dissecting her manner of speaking- dissect her ideas. We get it. She's dumb. I only need to see one interview to know that. Tear her down by tearing down her ideas- not how she talks about them. Seriously, grow up.
Marie Burns | November 13, 2008 7:30 PM
This was not the first non-denial denial in which Palin "defended" herself on whether Africa was (a) a country or (b) a continent. A few days earlier she told local reporters, "If there are allegations based on questions or comments I made in debate prep about NAFTA -- about the continent versus the country when we talk about Africa there -- then those were taken out of context."
I think here she shows she really doesn't (didn't) know Africa was a continent divided among many soveregn countries, and her "excuse" is that her critics took her "out of context." What "context" would that be?
Taibbi's sports analogy works, but so does the South Carolina junior beauty queen comparison that went around the Internets. Palin's garbled syntax is her way of evading responses to questions she doesn't want to or can't answer.
It would be easy to feel sorry for her & suppose she had some sort of learning disorder that makes her incapable of clear thinking & of expressing herself in subject-verb-object sentences. But I think she learned in beauty queen prep that getting in some of the words related to the subject was good enough for a cute girl. That is probably what got her thru college, too. It might even propel her to the White House, gosh darn it. We had better be vigilant.
See a few more Palin humdingers on www.RealityChex.com where we mostly talk about things other than Palin.
Mark | November 13, 2008 7:29 PM
The obscurity, and the resounding rightness, of BOTH the insight that Bush's malapropisms betray his true character and the insight that Sarah Palin talks like David Ortiz...that's a fine day's work, Mr. Taibbi.
Stone | November 13, 2008 7:19 PM
Palin is Ms. Teen Alaska. Ever since I saw her I can see her saying "I personally believe..."
Miss Teen Alaska '12
DRP103 | November 13, 2008 7:03 PM
The other day I was having a conversation with one of my friends and I tried to explain to this person that Palin uses her beauty queen talents in politics.
"So, Ms. Alaska, how would you bring about world piece?"
Then Palin would reply with the standard coached reply that she practiced with her handler.
She really reminds me of the "Miss Teen South Carolina girl" from YouTube---you know....
"Such as and I believe that US Americans.....Such as.......able to do so because....such as....people in our nation dont have that.....such as...Osama...such as!!!
By the way, did Obama win S. Carolina?
Dan | November 13, 2008 6:51 PM
A Palin/Miss Teen South Carolina ticket in 2012 will be something to remember.
Yasmeen | November 13, 2008 6:50 PM
Thank-you- I was just pointing this out to someone the other day- I asked them “umm why does Sarah Palin speak broken English? Like wtf- isn’t English her first language?!?”- she sounds like my immigrant cousins from overseas…glad I’m not the only one who noticed, even gladder it was noticed by the great Matt Taibbi!
Doug the Unemployed Factory Grunt | November 13, 2008 6:06 PM
RE:andrew
The fact that it was a hoax is irrelevant to the article. All Taibbi is referring to is the fact that she was asked about it and vomited forth that garbled response.
Though:
The fact that someone was able to pass the hoax off as real and make it seem plausible still says a lot about Palin (and her response still doesn't give the impression she knows a goddamn thing about Africa). You couldn't have made that hoax stick with too many people.
Jim | November 13, 2008 5:56 PM
Ohh you're not a Red Sox fan are you? There's ENOUGH anti-Yankees bias in the media, if you hadn't heard.
Sallad | November 13, 2008 5:50 PM
It makes sense that the Repubs keep putting forth dimwits and dunces. They hate the government, so they aim to destroy it with horrible (and easily lead and pliable)candidates.
I still subscribe to the theory that Palin is not the mother of baby Trig. She sucks.
Cloudman | November 13, 2008 5:30 PM
I bet some sinister liberal earmarks paid for your so-called "overhead projector", Taibbi.
No but seriously, with these neocons of questionable mental capacities, you always have to keep in mind that surely they can talk intelligently about something! I mean, George Bush could probably talk to you all day about the woes of the Texas Rangers, and Governor Palin, as we all know, is quite well versed in the nuances of shooting wolves from a helicopter.
susan | November 13, 2008 5:28 PM
I would love to just walk around inside Matt Taibbi's brain for an hour. It probably looks like the New York Public Library,Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, and the Wyoming landscape all at the same time. He is genius!!!
andrew | November 13, 2008 5:27 PM
Um, wasn't the thing about Palin thinking Africa was a country a hoax? Martin Eisenstadt, the imaginary adviser?
jason | November 13, 2008 4:47 PM
friggin hilarious.