Taibbi Unbound: Fresh broadsides from Rolling Stone politics writer Matt Taibbi

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The Title "Blogger" Sickens Me. On the Lighter Side, Worldwide Financial Holocaust

October 16, 2008 5:01 PM

Photo: Tama/Getty
Making that first entry in a blog is sort of like taking that first step into sexual deviancy. Once that zipper comes down, the label sticks forever.  Blogger. What a horrible word. It has such an awful, dirty, biological sound to it. The words it reminds me of are words like felch, belch, bilge, log, globes and rubber. It sounds like belching log-rubber. And now I am one. I feel sick.

I’ll get into why we here at Rollingstone.com decided to start this blog at some other time. Let’s just say that I’ll be making semi-regular updates to this page, and occasionally adding live or nearly-live commentary to things like debates and other events. This page will also contain links to web versions of all my print articles from Rolling Stone and provide contact info for anyone looking to reach or stalk me/my editors as the case may be.

I’ve been getting a lot of mail about my online chat Wednesday with National Review geek Byron York, which devolved into an unsurprisingly ugly argument about the Wall Street mess. Most of the mail was approving, but there were some who called bullshit. “You sound like a guy who studied up on the financial crisis CliffsNotes five minutes before the interview and then lorded it over the other guy like you actually know something,” was one reader’s comment. “But you don’t fool me.”

Well, duh. I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I had the faintest idea of what a CDO or a CDS or an MBS was before a month or so ago. That’s the point, none of us did. But since the crisis started, we’ve all had to do a lot of reading. As a journalist you don’t have to be an expert – and if you’ve screwed up enough in life to end up in this field, you probably won’t be no matter how hard you try – but you have to at least know enough to have a halfway decent sense of who’s lying. That’s unless you’re a guy like Byron York of the National Review, whose job consists mainly of repeating the idiot talking points handed down to him from somewhere higher up in the food chain of the Republican Wally World.

The reason things got ugly with York is because in the middle of a discussion we were having on the campaign, he pulled out the latest Rush Limbaugh/Sean Hannity/Laura Ingraham propaganda line about the financial crisis, i.e. that the problem was rooted in the efforts of left-wing reformers dating back to the Carter administration to bring by government fiat the benefits of the “ownership society” to poor people and minorities. Humorously it took the Republican punditocracy a good long while to settle on this particular explanation for the crisis, and I honestly think the reason for that was that none of the ranking talking heads understood enough at first about the real reasons for the crisis to even come up with an informed lie.

In any event, I first saw this vile line of reasoning trotted out when Jeff Jacoby of the Boston Globe ran a piece at the end of last month, essentially arguing that the Community Reinvestment Act of 1977 forced so many private lenders to cough up mortgages to ill-qualified minority borrowers that the whole system ended up collapsing.

When I first heard this, I actually laughed – I figured that no one would be stupid enough to think that the entire system of international finance could be brought down by a bunch of individual defaults to low-value urban properties. Nothing could be more comic than the idea that this whole teeming galaxy of rich Ivy Leaguers and bespectacled European bankers and keen Japanese finance professionals could be so massively and credulously over-invested in urban black American homeowners that the whole world could be thrown off its axis by a sudden – and apparently wholly unexpected – failure of these low-income borrowers to make their payments. I mean, this stuff goes beyond preposterous. You’d have to spend weeks breathing straight out of a nitrous oxide tank in order to even begin to take an idea like this seriously.

But they plowed ahead with this line of attack, and why not? If your business is stoking the fears of nervous white people who are disinclined to spend more than thirty seconds wondering why their IRAs or 401Ks just lost 25% of their value, then this is exactly what you should do – find some arcane corner of the affirmative action universe that happens to intersect with banks and mortgages, and move all your chips onto that square. It makes sense, from a propaganda point of view.

The reason people like York get away with this stuff with regard to the financial crisis is because these assholes on Wall Street – like any tribe of arrogant, vernacularizing insiders in any profession – have intimidated people into thinking that what they do for living is so complicated and subtle that no ordinary person could ever hope to understand it.

This is horseshit. It’s almost exactly like, say, going to a race track. The first time you go and someone hands you a racing form, you feel like it might as well be written in ancient Greek. You see these wrinkly guys walking around with their forms all marked up in pen in the margins and you feel like you’ll never understand all those numbers on the page.

But after about an hour you realize that it’s just a bunch of people watching dogs run in a circle. That’s all it is. The track came up with all these different columns and complex wagers to make the underlying activity seem more interesting, but that doesn’t change what you’re watching. Wall Street is basically the same deal. It’s twenty square blocks of guys in ties finding increasingly fancy ways to argue about the value of the crap they spend all day selling back and forth to each other. They make it sound like rocket science, but in the end it’s still just dogs running in a circle.

The exactas and trifectas and superfectas of this particular mess at the racetrack are financial instruments like CDOs (Collateralized Debt Obligations) and CDS (Credit Default Swaps). Massive trading in these two types of instruments, among others, were the key causes of this crisis. There are two basic bubble-causing concepts at work here and these are concepts that any person can understand: the first is selling worthless crap to people who think it’s gold and the other is betting with money you don’t have.

On the betting with money you don’t have front, the CDS is basically a form of insurance in which two idiots make promises to pay each other sums of money if some third totally unrelated person defaults on his debt.

Let’s say Aquaman takes out a million-dollar bond to open a gay strip club. You’re gay and you like superheroes so you think it’s a good idea – but your mother doesn’t, so you agree to pay your mother a million dollars in the event that Aquaman’s strip club fails, in exchange for her paying you, until that time, regular monthly payments of $10,000. All your family members agree with your mother and they, too agree to pay you $10,000 a month in exchange for a promise that you’ll pay them a million bucks if Aquaman defaults.

Now, thanks to Phil Gramm, who lobbied for the so-called “Enron Exception” covering these trades back in 2000, this market is totally unregulated, so you don’t have to show that you have even a dollar, much less a million bucks for every promise you made to your family members. So a year later your entire extended family is betting against Aquaman’s place and when it finally does go bust, thanks to Superman opening a far superior and better-managed club down the block, Aquaman’s one-million-dollar loss creates a hundred million dollars in losses for you (and, it turns out, for society in general, which might end up having to use tax money to pay your mother and everybody else for the bet you couldn’t cover).

You will note that when a person buys insurance for his own businesses, this is called good business. When two people bet on whether or not a third person pays his debts, this is called gambling. There is currently $62 trillion worth of Credit Default Swaps out there. This is more than the gross domestic product of the entire world.

Given that, is it really that much of a mystery why the collapse of a single investment bank like Lehman Brothers can send all of Wall Street underwater? Like any Ponzi-type scheme, the whole system explodes the instant one link in the chain, or one brick in the pyramid, fails: if you get a million people betting on the same small pool of mortgages, you can turn a $300,000 in actual defaults into $300 million in gambling losses overnight. More to the point, you can blow up all of Wall Street, or almost blow it up, with just the defaults of bonds issued by Lehman brothers. No one even knows for sure how much money has been lost via Lehman-related Credit Default Swaps. Some estimates say the number is $400 billion.

This is why it’s so revolting when guys like Byron York try to pin the financial crisis on the minority homeowners who defaulted on their home loans. There aren’t enough low-income minority homeowners in the remaining years of human history to create $62 trillion worth of pressure on the economy. You’ve got not billions but trillions of dollars tied up in the Wall Street equivalent of a craps game – the ruling class of the earth gambling away the whole world’s bank deposits on a dice roll, which is about as irresponsible a use of resources as can be imagined – and guys like York want to blame the blowout on a few black people who tried to do something absolutely and completely sensible with their money, buying houses they intended to live in.

In the area of selling worthless crap as gold, there is the CDO (great explanation here). This is basically an instrument which one entity sells a package of securities to another. That package can contain anything, from bonds to college loans to mortgages. The actual mathematics of how they work is complicated, but all you really need to know about them is that the package of securities within a CDO can also contain other CDOs – and if one CDO packaged within a second CDO happens to contain fucked-up subprime mortgages, you can trade the second CDO as though it had an investment-grade rating.

So long as the housing market is booming, this is an easy way for the person issuing the CDO to turn worthless paper into real cash. What he is selling, essentially, is a promise that the shit in his package is worth what he says it's worth. Since this market is totally unregulated, he doesn't have to back that promise up with anything. Some meth addict on a skateboard can put a dollar down on a boarded-up $580 row house in East St. Louis and this asshole can sell it as though it’s as solid a bet as the mortgage on the Queen of England's Monte Carlo villa.

Again, this is not exactly a Ponzi scheme, but the dynamics are very similar. In a Ponzi scheme the operating problem is time. If you promise every investor a 300% return on a $100 investment, you‚re fine as long as you continually get enough new investors to keep the first ones off your back. But once the demand slackens even a hair the whole structure crumbles, and what you get in the end is a panicked bumrush as everybody you conned races to your office with their fists raised to reclaim what’s left of their money, understanding at last that their cash was the only asset that ever existed in this enterprise.

Does that sound familiar? Because that’s what happened with this market. The valuation of all these securities was based on faith and promises, not real assets. And once everyone realized that, the whole world raced for the exits.

Now, there are types of pyramid schemes – we’ve all come across them – where every investor on the bottom level has to find two more investors and continually kick his money up the pyramid. We all know that if the guys on the bottom screw this up and so much as one person fails to get those targeted two investors, the whole thing collapses. Which is too bad, I guess, but you’d have to be nuts – or, apparently, a Republican – to blame this whole catastrophe on the general slacker-ness of the bottom-rung investor.

A pyramid scheme is a criminal enterprise. The guys running the game are criminals. Amazingly, these Republicans are trying to tell everyone that it’s low-income minorities at the bottom defaulting on their mortgages who queered this whole deal for everybody. But all it takes is a thimbleful of common sense to realize that a few individual mortgage defaults don't cause this kind of worldwide financial holocaust unless somebody much higher up fucked up very, very badly.

Which is why the Rush Limbaughs and Sean Hannitys and so on who are pushing this line about the crisis being blowback from an attempt to bring the “ownership society” to minorities either have no idea what they’re talking about, or they’re the most shameless liars of all time. Thank God they’ll be out the door and picking strawberries in Siberia a few weeks from now.


Wall Street
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19 Comments


MJM | October 25, 2008 8:28 PM

Matt, I havent picked up copy of Rollingstone in many years. I think since my chemically induced haze days of the seventies. But after listening to you on the Imus in the morning program I did some research and a found some of your older articles and now some nemwer ones. I understand that you are compared favorably to Hunter Thompson. I am slightly ashamed to say that I am not familiar with his work so I can't legitimately wheigh in on that subject.
But I do have to say how much I enjoy your fresh outlook and cutting wit, and your ability to explain things in such a clear concise manner Cutting throuhg all the crap.Todays blog about the recent financial mess was a great example. If I had tried to read that volume of text from anyone else on that subject I would have lulled into a coma.

I was very surprised to see a comment on your blog claiming that your are one sided or "in the tank" for Democrats. If anyone needs proof otherwise they need only read "Spanking the Donkey"
your account of the 2004 Dem Convention.

Your recent comments about Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity being out or possibly picking strawberries in Siberia (that must be where the frozen ones come from)I think were off the mark . We have no luck! they will be here telling their distorted version of the truth and living in their own fantasy worlds after most of us are long gone. Besides I understand that it is a scientific fact that even after a nuclear holocaust the cockroaches of the world will survive, so surely we will always have Rush and Sean to keep our blood pressure up!

Lokking forward to more from you!

Murray Morrissey | October 25, 2008 12:16 PM

Since my chemically induced haze days of the seventies, I havent even picked up, much less subscribed to, Rolling Stone Magazine. But after hearing you on the Imus program a couple of times I have started to look into your work. I understand you have been favorably compared to the late Hunter Thompson, however, I am ashamed to say I am not familiar enough with his work to concur or not.
I am, however, enormously impressed with your ability to, not only make your subject matter clear, but also make it hugely entertaining. Your recent discertation on the latest financial crisis being an example.
Had I attempted to read that much text involving this issue from anyone else I would have surely been in a coma before then end of it . Yours ,however, kept me interested and entertained all the way through.
I may not agree with everything you say but I absolutely love hearing it. I have also dabbled into some of your older articles and stories and I feel the same way about them. The comments on this blog reffering to you as being "one sided" or "in the tank" for Democrats is clearly not the case.
Please continue your work. You are engaging the disengaged and creating a new segment of society to counter the "Stepford Wives" of my generation.

With regard to your comment about Limbaugh and Hannity being relegated to Siberia, we could never be that lucky. They will survive regardless of the outcome of this election. Their advantage is that they create their own reallity, so it doesn't matter what is really going on. Add to that the scientific notion that cockroaches will be sole survivors of even a nuclear holocaust and I would say things look pretty good for them to be around a long time.

Bob | October 22, 2008 8:27 PM

I wonder when Captain dipshit will EVER assign blame to the Democrats for ANYTHING. I've never seen a bigger suck ass on Earth than this hack - also, he never prints negative letters about himself . Also, he went to an unbelievably expensive prep school and daddy got him into "journalism". And he talks about the Bush family. Hang on Matt, I think Barack's about to take a shit - OPEN WIDE!!

dont be a partisan matt | October 22, 2008 5:18 PM

it doesn't suit you.

"Now, thanks to Phil Gramm, who lobbied for the so-called “Enron Exception” covering these trades back in 2000, this market is totally unregulated,"

Everyone but 4 congressmen in the house voted for that legislation(commodities futures modernization act and such), Ron Paul was one of the four who was smart enough and decent enough to reject it. Clinton and the rest of congress gave us this removal of oversight, not just Gramm.

Please don't go all partisan like Dickinson.

specific argument | October 22, 2008 5:12 PM

Matt,
The CRA did play a part in this. Whether or not CRA was sufficient to cause this problem is beside the point. It's wrong, and it is doing harm. Mises scholars bring some well explained evidence to bear on this subject and Peter Schiff nails it(or nailed it rather, he called this problem out 3 years ago).

You are right to be suspicious that this single handedly toppled investment banks. It didn't. There is a lot of blame to throw around, and it doesn't belong with just the bankers or our government, but both.

JPP | October 22, 2008 3:43 PM

Best break down of how this mess was created. It is truly laughable how it has been spun by the Limbaugh's/Hannity's etc. if only you are right that if Republican's who continually try to sell us this shit line of thinking would only go away. But like the same assholes who created this mess people like Limbaugh, Hannity etc get even richer if their "guy/s" lose as they write more books about how this happened, get even more advertising supported airtime to console the idiots that believe the shit they are peddling.

Michelle | October 22, 2008 11:22 AM

Please get some twitter going on...so I know when you update. Thanks! You're swell. :)

mat@gpclabels.com | October 22, 2008 9:35 AM

So what happens if we tell everyone who bought this insurance, there's no pot of gold and default?

Sam Thielman | October 21, 2008 3:28 PM

Well and engagingly explained, Matt. I'd agree with Robert Smith, too, though - as crooked and stupid as these deals are, the leaders of a civilized society have an obligation to pass laws that keep idiots from hurting themselves. Why? Because if they don't, the idiots hurt everybody.

Larry | October 19, 2008 9:06 PM

Matt, you ROCK! I LOVE reading your articles and just one is worth the entire cost of a Rolling Stone yearly subscription.

Just remember these clowns who attempt to "rationalize" this disaster by shifting the blame to phantom boogeymen are the ones who helped CREATE it. There is absolutely NO justification for what has happened with the economy whatsoever. This was on their watch totally, but they will NEVER accept the blame for what they brought on this nation.

So much for all that "accountability", "responsibility" and (snicker!) "fiscally conservative" hogwash these big shots and Republicans have been feeding us since 1994.

A Democrat can create a roaring economy with a big surplus, yet it took less than one term for George W. Bush to blow it all and land us in the worst national debt in history.

We need change. I hope we finally get it this November

Love and Peace,

Larry

rainie | October 19, 2008 8:13 PM

"When I first heard this, I actually laughed – I figured that no one would be stupid enough to think...the entire system of international finance ...brought down by a bunch of individual defaults to low-value urban properties. Nothing could be more comic..."

I thought the same thing:
Youre trying to blame who for what?????
...but they planted the meme.

As you wrote however, with a bit of info many people start to see thru this horseshit.

Good to see a blog Matt!!

Anonymous | October 19, 2008 6:42 AM

As somebody who started working as a d-bag wall street guy in "structured products" you perfectly highlighted the repackaging of this toxic crap into CDO squared and even CDO cubed. On a funny note - when you package each crappy slice (tranche) of the CDO and sell it to the market it looks like an upside down pyramid...go figure

Lauren | October 19, 2008 6:17 AM

Not to mention that mortgages taken out during the Carter administration would have been completely amortized by now. This means that the mortgages they are referencing would so nearly paid off, it seems unlikely they would be in foreclosure. (Carter Administration Term 77-81)

I think you are right on the money with the CDO's and the betting on the repackaging of these MBS's. Standard foreclosures in and of themselves couldn't do all this.

I found it fascinating how the Republicans within days found some method of blaming the Democrats for the problems. Granted there's a lot of blame to go around on this one... but the party who left the doors and windows open on this one, the party who left everything in a free for all, the market will heal all state, was the republicans.

There were those who sounded the alarms a long time ago. Krugman was among them. He was pooh poohed as one of those Democrat Liberal Elites that don't know anything. Well, he's sitting with a Nobel Prize in his hands and some "I told you so's" in his belly. I doubt it's very satisfying for him... but even so, those same folks who ridiculed Krugman for crying wolf, still cannot at this date admit perhaps they were wrong.

And so, my friends, this will happen again. Because these folks are like Lucy and the football. Always proclaiming they won't pull the ball away... and always at the last minute, deciding the temptation is too great not to.

Thunk!

Nate | October 19, 2008 2:40 AM

a matt taibi blog, awesome, this guy's absolutely miserable to listen to

Putinmyass Palinovitch | October 18, 2008 9:28 PM

First off, thanks to you and neil s, i'm buying RS Mags for the first time in my life. That said...i just got a message from the Dark Lord himself Darth Putin, requesting help fucking the Russian People, he requests that we send him everyone involved in Banking Schemes and Political Hocus Pokus (specifically S. Palin, possible Vice Chancellor to Putin himself and Karl Rove). There is a special place in Siberian Hell just waiting for these unAmerican types...i'm ga-ga for your words, please continue to let them flow... thanks Matt

infinitejest | October 18, 2008 4:26 PM

that was dead-on.

jolie | October 18, 2008 8:13 AM

So where's that contact information you promised? I'd like to engage in a little light stalking if you don't mind.

cromanglin | October 18, 2008 4:05 AM

Am I really first?
I wish Hannity/Limbaugh were going to Siberia...but the truth is an Obama victory would be 4 years of awesomeness for those guys. Those jerks got rich off Clinton, they'll do it again when Obama is in office. All they have to do is tell their racist listeners that all the problems of the world are caused by the black muslim president. ugh...

Robert Smith | October 18, 2008 3:54 AM

Hey Matt,
I believe that is or was part of it, but not at the fault of the homeowner. It goes back on the hands of those that wanted deregulation. If you take the cops away it's obvious the crooks are going to play. The crooks are Wall Street dumb asses and dumb ass in Washington, not American homeowners. The home buyer went to the bank asking to buy a home and was given a line of shit, assuming who he was talking to knew what he was talking about. Wrong assumption, least it wasn't the homebuyer that Mr. Banker was looking out for. It was Mr. Bankers pocket that was being looked out for.

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