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Lily Allen's Big Mouth

January 22, 2009 12:00 PM

Photo: Cattermole/Getty

With her new album coming in February, Lily Allen has said some really stupid shit recently. For your enjoyment, we've compiled a short list of our favorite Lilyisms:

We've all made spontaneous decisions while intoxicated, but... "I bought a beach! It's in Jamaica, I'm not gonna tell you the road. I'm happy I bought the beach, best drunken buy ever!"
She "accidentally" sent Kaiser Chiefs front man Ricky Wilson a picture of her tatas. "That was really embarrassing. I was completely topless."
As if there was any confusion, Allen lets us all know that she doesn't think she "ever was a role model," and that when the paparazzi come down on her, "I have a mental breakdown and check myself into a hospital."
She has a third nipple, and goddammit, she'll show you if you ask!
Allen has just admitted to having a lesbian threesome, saying, "I did once snog these identical twins in San Diego. I was on the sofa and I had them both, I was dancing and shoving my arse on one of them and one on my front bottom."
In a recent interview with the S.S., Allen told us she'll give head for "fifteen, twenty minutes." She was also kind enough to give us pointers in the love-making department: "Firstly, I think that guys should think outside the box, literally," she told us. "Lots of foreplay. Foreplay's the main bit for me. The penetration is mainly for them."
She outed her brother, Alfie. "He's got a huge penis. When I lived at home, Alfie's room was opposite the main bathroom, and I would often be in the bath in the morning and it never had a lock on the door and Alfie would get up with his morning boner and come in for a wee while I was in the bath."
She's a little mixed up when it comes to drugs. A few weeks ago she said, "I know lots of people that take cocaine three nights a week and get up and go to work every day, no problem at all." But then her publicist followed up with, "Lily Allen would like to state unequivocally that she does not condone illegal drug use."
And finally, our favorite: "I'm really convinced I'm not talented at all, and I'm sure that people are just about to figure that out."