Hey guys, just got back from a screening of the Sex and the City movie here in New York City. To date, it's only been shown to select critics and at a premiere in London last week. Obviously, anticipation for this movie is HUGE. We're talking Indiana Jones meets Iron Man huge. Here in New York, there are people scalping tickets to opening night showings for as much as $200 — that's just a seat at the movies!

So on to the review……SPOILER ALERTS EVERYWHERE. DO NOT READ IF YOU WISH TO BE SURPRISED BY THE SATC MOVIE.

Okay, first of all, I want to reassure all fans: you will not be disappointed by this film. It may not be perfect, but it is very much a funny, emotional movie that captures all the glamour and heartbreak that made Sex and the City such a phenomenon on TV. The big screen also makes everyone look beautiful — Sarah Jessica Parker has never looked prettier, nor have Kristin Davis (Charlotte), Kim Catrall (Samantha), and Cynthia Nixon (Miranda). Even SATC's famous "Fifth" character — New York City — is gorgeous. You could watch this movie with the sound off and still feel dazzled.

Anyways, on to the plot. The film opens, naturally, with a big skyline shot of New York City, but then it shoots up Hudson River. We find Carrie and Mr. Big (now named John) living in a very pretty two-bedroom garage apartment in Yonkers, which, we're told, is "like the new Meatpacking District." Mr. Big has been recently convicted of insider trading by the SEC, and was forced to pay a $450 million fine, bankrupting him. He wears an ankle monitor (which Carrie has decorated with a Prada symbol) and he chain smokes all day while watching re-runs of The Girls Next Door. Carrie, on the other hand, has quit writing her column and now answers the phone as an operator for Land's End. It's quite the funny repartee as Carrie — saying stuff like "do you want that down vest in Hunter or Merlot?" — and Big navigate such a tight environment. They love each other, it seems, but they bicker about Big's smoking and the Con Edison bill. Also, they have seven kids. Four of them are Big's; the rest are Jason Giambi's.

Charlotte, meanwhile, still lives in her old apartment building, with her husband Harry, their adopted child, and her dogs. There's good news: after trying very hard, Charlotte and Harry have conceived a child naturally. Now the dilemma is whether or not to get rid of the adopted child. Harry says no. Charlotte says yes. After a long argument, they agree they will send their natural child to a private school and their adopted child to a public school. The natural child will get clothes from Barney's, and the adopted child will get his from Goodwill. They also agree to call the adopted child "it." It, who is played by Frankie Muniz, nearly steals the movie when he complains about having to sleep outside in the hall.

Samantha is living in a gorgeous loft with her model/actor boyfriend Smith. Life is pretty good except for one thing: Samantha has gone blind. Blindness is not funny, of course, and at first I thought this would be sad storyline. But it turns out to be totally hilarious as Samantha is constantly walking into her vibrators and also dressing herself in some real fashion disasters. One night she accidentally confuses her Pucci dress with Smith's Dallas Mavericks jersey and attends a party at the Museum of Modern art. Everyone laughs at her, but thankfully, Samantha hasn't worn any underwear, so when she crotchflashes the crowd, she gets everyone back on her side.

Miranda is dead, as are Steve, Anthony, Aidan, Alexander and Stanford. All of them were killed in a freak high school cheerleading accident, which is too complicated to explain and is pretty much glossed over at the beginning. But this actually streamlines the movie quite nicely.

The plot of the movie takes a little while to develop. But basically, the storyline is this: Carrie calls all the girls together and asks them for their help in murdering or at least maiming Big. She says that he has a multimillion dollar insurance policy and it’s the only way for them to make any money. During a wild night of drinking cosmos, the girls discuss many ways to kill Big — poisoning him, shooting him, running him over, chopping him up with three very cute axes, and drowning him in a tub of Skyy Vodka. They decide they will kill him by inviting him to the roof of the Empire State Building and then pushing him off. This has extra significance because it's where Big first proposed to Carrie, and it's also where Big pushed his own first wife off the roof.

Now the movie starts to really gain some steam, and we meet some new characters along the way. Meryl Streep plays the editor of a magazine called Southeast Regional Truck Parts Catalogue, and she tries to hire Carrie as a columnist. Benicio del Toro shows up as Che Guevara, a hot shoe designer from the Lower East Side who entrances Samantha. Jennifer Hudson plays Charlotte's sister. Al Pacino is the doorman at Samantha’s building. That's actually not a movie character. He really is the doorman at Samantha’s building, in real life. You can go look.

Then….Miranda's ghost shows up. She's still as cranky as ever, as she continues to live in Brooklyn. But the girls are grateful for Miranda's help in their plan to kill Big. Miranda also can walk through walls so she manages to steal Carrie a very cute dress from Dolce & Gabbana.

I don't want to spoil the whole thing so I'll leave out the end and revealing whether Big dies by hitting the pavement at 178 miles per hour, or actually suffocates mid-air when the air pressure crushes his rib cage and rips open his internal organs. You're going to have to find out for yourself. But just rest assured this is very much the SATC movie you were dying to see, and it leaves plenty of opportunities for a sequel. In fact, it turns out that Miranda's ghost is carrying a secret baby by Al Pacino, and so that's another movie right there.