Dear lord, no! Roger Clemens and Mindy McCready? This has to be grossest athlete/musician hookup since that greasy hack Rick Fox married Vanessa Williams. That Clemens, an alleged steroid fiend and confirmed uber-dick and a blonde country singer with a taste for Oxycotin and a hit song called "Guys Do it All the Time" broke the commandments is not surprising. The wonder is that we didn't hear about this earlier since the affair reportedly lasted ten years, starting when Clemens was in his late twenties and McCready was fifteen. Fifteen, dude, fifteen. Anyway, as I recoil with horror, here is a short list of couples who should never have been allowed in a sporting arena holding hands:
1) Mark Gastineau and Brigitte Nielson: The horror! The horror! The unparalleled stupidity! This brain trust brought new meaning to The New York Sack exchange. Honestly, Flavor Flav is a huge upgrade for 'Gitte.
2) David Justice and Halle Berry: Remember when fans used to chant "HAL-LE BER-RY"? Justice was always an arrogant SOB but when he hooked up with Halle his ego reached the stratosphere. Too bad his game didn't follow. Despicable on the field and worse off, Justice has mysteriously disappeared from the national spotlight after being named in baseball's steroid probe. Good riddance.
3) Brett Ratner and Serana Williams: Why Serena? Why? On the other hand, nerdy schlubby dudes everywhere briefly had a new hero — that is until they saw Ratner's X-Men movie and realized he had killed the franchise.
4) The Aforementioned Rick Fox and Vanessa Williams: It was hard to see Vanessa with Fox. She was too good for him. Vanessa changed many a young man's worldview with those Penthouse pictures back in the day — I had to walk all over New York to find a bodega that would sell a copy to a twelve-year old. Best $2.95 I had ever spent at the time. Of course, the blame for this relationship lies at the feet of super-psycho model Tyra Banks, who introduced the couple after dating Fox. This should never have happened, as Vanessa Williams is too good for sloppy seconds.
5) Tyra Banks and Chris Webber: I feel sorry for anyone with Tyra Banks. This was one timeout C-Webb should have called.
6) Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo: I'm not a Cowboys fan, and since she seemed to jinx America's team, this relationship is fine by me.
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- Portions of Album Content Provided by All Music Guide © 2009 All Media Guide, LLC.
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cornerkicker | May 2, 2008 1:57 PM
and then there's beckham and Posh. gag.
DrAiN BaMaGe | April 30, 2008 3:57 AM
The fact that this was never made an issue is a sad commentary on our justice system. Obviously, there 10yr fling wasn't the best kept secret. The DA didn't feel the need to uncover the affair until Clemens lied about steroids. This goes to show that Clemens is not the upright citizen he claims to be. She is more or less a character witness. Her testimony will have implications on Clemens willingness to lie his about steriods use.
Juice Boy | April 29, 2008 7:35 PM
"Despicable" on the field ? I suppose he was a jerk and might have been the ex-mate who hit Halle and gave her hearing loss, but he was a fine player and homered in the 7th to give the Braves a 1-0 win and the world series title.
john marquez | April 29, 2008 5:37 PM
dude, david justice's house burned down in the san diego wild fires last year, you dick. he "mysteriously disappeared" because everything he owned was burned to a crisp.