When it comes to women, one of the things that has confounded men through the ages is the ladies' room. As one of few females in my immediate cubicle vicinity, I often field questions about what goes on (aside from the obvious, of course) in Wenner Media's female facilities: Are there couches? Plushly carpeted floors? Dance parties? Cheese plates? Consider this the inside track.

• Yes, there are couches: While our sofas — which are housed in the foyer of each restroom (yes, we have foyers, too) — are far from Jennifer Convertibles, they're semi-comfy and have a deep sit, which makes them perfect for a fleeting nap (though I can't profess to using them for this purpose), a flip through a hot-off-the-presses Us Weekly, or a good cry (see #3). Guys are so used to their spartan, utilitarian accommodations that they can't grasp how the place you go to relieve your bladder can be so much more than the sum of its toilets and sinks. Just add a couch, and trust me, it can.

• We have a basket full of grooming products: Flat hairdo? Flaky skin? The bathroom is a one-stop shop for your beauty ills. One of our restrooms stocks such quick-fix goods as hairspray, hand cream and perfume, all gratis. It's like being at a ritzy restaurant — or a Bar Mitzvah! I’ve yet to see someone dip into the basket and spritz up a cloud of the KMart brand "Eau de Pear Blossom," but still, it's comforting to know it’s there.

• The bathroom is an emotional sanctuary: My male colleagues find the fact that I've witnessed multiple bathroom crying scenes fascinating, but it makes total sense. Who wants to bawl at their desk? Haul ass to the ladies, hole up in a stall and wail away in (semi) private. Warning: If you cry on the couch, your tears will be met with meddling "Are you OK?"'s and unsolicited boyfriend advice.

• Cheese is served from 2-3 p.m: Just kidding.